In the Words of a Gerbil...

Toj TF2 Game Night. Guaranteed griever free or your money back. Act now and get a free headshot with every purchase.
Why go through an expensive and time consuming "education" to get a "job" when you can experience 99% of what a job has to offer right now with...

"Virtual Hat Simulator 2017"

Be a pirate, an astronaut, a doctor or a freakish abomination of all of them at once.
Every girl crazy about a sharp dressed man but the song says nothing about an education.
With computer generated hats you get none of the head lice but all of the bugs.
Toj Hat Simulator now loading... oh yeah you can also play some game called TF2 between changing hats.

For reference...

Not really a reference but when writing "Be a pirate, an astronaut, a doctor or a" I was thinking of the below...
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Friends do you need a little pick me up at the end of the day? Do you find yourself regretting not killing all your co-workers? Do you need the adrenaline rush that only comes with senseless carnage?...well then stay the heck away from me you nut OR come to Toj TF2 game night where killing your friends is socially acceptable... unless it's me because I'm a poor loser but that's alright it's not like you could anyway, taunt, taunt, TOJ TF2 game night begins again!
Like an established franchise we are back again whether you want it or not. Come play on the Toj the only "IP" that matters.

Toj TF2 Game Night CXXV thirty three and a half begins now!

IP can stand for Internet Protocol or Intellectual Property in this context but if you have to explain the joke XD .
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Here at Toj TF2 Game Night we're pushing the boundaries of virtual hat technology. Each hat is subjected to a grueling five point test...

1. Bullets
2. Explosions
3. Burning
4. Puns
5. Bad maps

From buckets to boots if you can stick it on your head we stress test it but don't worry we also relieve that stress. While you're engaged in serious scientific pursuits enjoy airblast assisted cave exploring, hot rockets delivered right to your feet, therapeutic back acupuncture and then break it all up with frequent trips to the spawnroom (pronounced spa-room in French). Scientifically proven for your health because of the statistics we cherry picked to serve you.

Push the frontier of hat technology at the resort getaway of your dreams, because it's all in your dreams, all while not having to wear pants er... for science. Join and let Toj TF2 Game Night take you away today!

Perhaps a bit similar to earlier themes but sometimes you get new or better ideas for used themes. I mean everything leads back to hats anyway right ^^ :p .
Join Toj TF2 Tuesday today, because tomorrow, Wednesday, would make a silly Tuesday, then where would you put Wednesday, it'd be a vicious cycle of days co-oping one another until one of them got killed, probably Monday, because no one likes Monday, but I'd be ok with that, Tuesday could just take over that space and be twice as long, I'm not a day'ist though you can keep your Monday, just sayin', Monday is all stuck up, it's all like "I'm the beginning of the week" and we are all like "you're just a poser Sunday is the real beginning of the week", who never gets invited to parties, Monday that's who, only thing Monday does is make Tuesday look better, you get to Tuesday and you be like "woohoo that's one down", yeah that's right join Toj TF2 Tuesday because it's not Monday and never will be as long as I draw breath /breaks into chorus of God Bless America.
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Was is a hat? Does it define the man? If you tip it does it not M'lady? If it sits askew does it not Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Just the other day I saw a kid who flipped his hat to the back and he called it a lid <points if you get the reference>. Are we just trapped within ourselves putting on hats to mask our true identities or perhaps... just maybe... we just look good wearing them while shooting rocket launchers and flamethrowers. As your gibs pop out find out what's really inside you at Toj TF2 game night, starting now!

The references are strong with this one. ! I just made another one refer-ception! AHHH I DID IT AGAIN!

...and the reference for points is below...
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Toj TF2 game night!

Why study for class when you can play the classiest, class based, classic, crass free right now!
Tonight on Toj TF2 Game Night...

Scarlett as read by Vivien Leigh "Rhett, Rhett whatever map shall I play whatever class shall I be"
Rhett as read by Clark Gable "Frankly my dear I think you should play a custom map"

Meanwhile in a nefarious suburb of Texas...

Gerbil also read by Clark Gable "Igor bring me the forbidden experimental map."
Igor as read by Peter Lorre "No, no Master it's too unstable the server will crash."
Gerbil as read by Cary Grant (because Clark Gable wasn't handsome enough)
"Don't cross me minion! First players will dance to my map and then THE WORLD!
I mean WoW this is an amazing map which everyone will surely enjoy playing >.> <.< ."

Toj TF2 Game Night enjoy all the drama of a classic movie with all of the explosions of a Michael Bay movie but more plot, and none of the ticket price!

If you don't know any of these people please seek professional help you've got "can't-watch-good-movie-itis". I recommend a fasting of anything made in the last 40 years followed by a strict regime of movies like "Arsenic and Old Lace" and "The Maltese Falcon".

The first reference is "Gone with the Wind". A very big movie and a meme long before they were called that (personally I think the movie was a bit overblown and there are better movies of that time like those mentioned above). Clip has the D word but it was the emotional crescendo and meme starter of the ages...
Honestly I tend to think more of the comic where Garfield puts spaghetti on his head and pretends to be Scarlett :p .

Second part of my spam is generic Frankenstein with Peter Lorre added in for "terrible, HORRIBLE things" :p .
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In games without hats: (Cockney accent) Oi look it all deem targits. I is goin' ta be shootin al' the blighters like in da CODs and Overwatches.

In games with hats: I say I do believe there are many rapscallions who need a good going over. Let us deal with them in jolly cooperation.

I say old bean don't look all glum playing those vulgar hat-less games. Play the Queen's game TF2 (you can't prove she doesn't play) for civilized fun on Toj TF2 game night!
You got hats in my FPS!
You got FPS in my hat simulator!
Mmm Mmmmm!

Play TF2 now with two tastes that taste great together like...
Abbott and Costello,
Simon and Garfunkel,
Custom maps and button related "incidents",
Incidents and distracting by changing the subject,
Kim Jong Un and Unicorns,
Puns and Toj TF2 game night,
Spam and not so subtlety phrased invites...

That TF2 Toj thing is happening again... sorta... maybe... I didn't get anything prepared...hats... um Gabe Newell is fat... stop pressuring me! I set the spam bar to high and I'm now regretting it! Wahahaha T_T

Hey even the best get spammers block ocassionaly :p
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Stop everything!
Don't move!
Don't look away!
Don't even breathe!

(You in Saskatchewan I saw you exhale)

...Because the best deal on Steam is about to pass you by!
Why pay money for a "new game" when you could play a game you already own, TF2!
That's 100% off without the arduous task of purchasing but wait there is more!
TF2 became free so if you purchased it before then that makes it 200% off!
Need expensive new hardware for those new games?
Not so with TF2 (hopefully XD) that's like 300% off!
Why play new games when you can play maps that look vaguely like new games on TF2?
BAM! 400% off and you're wearing a hat to boot or a hat shaped like a boot, your choice!

In conclusion join Toj TF2 game night now and practically pay off your student loans and mortgage.

Hey don't knock it this would make sense to some politicians. :p

I wasn't kidding about the hat shaped like a boot either :p
Why explode things in real life and have to clean up the mess when cheap, environmentally safe, explosions are just a game join away?

Join Toj TF2 Game Night now, all the explosions, none of the criminal charges!

I believe I used this one around the New Year or 4th of July.
Find a beautiful Russian woman!
Work from home!
Grow hair in places you didn't know you had!

Don't get your spam confused. Try top quality "Toj TF2 Game Night" spam for that great taste, less spam filter, feeling!

...and maybe even find the Russian woman of your dreams... and kill her with a fish you renamed hairy, all while at home on TF2!

Changed "named" to "renamed" and added "on TF2" for clarity here.
Toj TF2 Game Night
Serving only the finest puns, memes and hat related insanity for nearly a decade!
Be one of the few, the loud, the sleep deprived!
Toj TF2 game night, free drink with every purchase! Some assembly required, offer may not be valid in your state of mind, the management is not responsible for any lost luggage but we have plenty of emotional baggage so help yourself.
Plan to be pasta today on Toj TF2 game night as we join the Captain Noodles army by changing our names to starchy substitutes.

Be a Macking Macaroni
A Styling Spaghetti
A Friendly Fettuccine
A Lovable Lasagna

...or be an ineffectual wet noodle and come as you are we won't judge. Not everyone can cut it in this man-icotti's army.

Although I did the write up above this one was actually [] Pamfafoofle's idea. It actually worked out ok :) . See his original pm below...

I should be around for another three TF2sdays before my return to Ethiopia on October 15. I have sort of wanted to get involved in another let’s-all-change-our-name war of the type that Noodles started that resulted in us all naming ourselves Banana…because it was weird and random, and weird/random is fun. Except that this time, I feel it ought to be revenge on Captain Noodles by us all making parodies of his name—Colonel Macaroni, Commander Spaghetti, Sergeant Fettuccine, Corporal Casserole, etc. And I thought it would be cool if we could get the mockery up and running before he even begins, so that he logs on to find us all with parody names (that he obviously cannot take credit for since he wasn’t there, yet obviously must take credit for, since it’s his name serving as the basis for all of ours). Do you think there’s a way we can arrange this, within the next three weeks but preferably within the next two, via message or such?
THRILL! To the spectacle of a box containing noodles being promoted to Captain!

GAZE! In wonder at the half banana, half girl!

BE CONFOUNDED! By the coding mastermind as he expounds on the secrets of the internet-web-verse-thing!

RECOIL! At the terror of a sleep deprived, knife wielding, gerbil!

ALL this and more may be found only on Toj TF2 game night starting now... if they show up if not you'll have to settle for the other crazies.
Get ready to play NAME...THAT...MAP!!!

The game show were we ask you to name a map to play and no one does... so instead let's guess what's behind this door. Is it...

Badwater tilt AND 40 MILLION DOLLARS!
Yet another version of 2fort AND A BRAND NEW CAR!
"Surprise" maps I didn't get time to test!

DRUM ROLL! and the winner is!

Congratulations you're a winner you don't have to play Badwater tilt or another version of 2fort!

Toj TF2 game night starting now with maps that at least aren't Badwater tilt... hopefully!

For those who don't know Badwater Tilt was made for an April Fools contest a mapper named Crash holds every year on After trying it it was so bad I removed it but that only seems to makes some people /glares at Protosoul request it more >.< .
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