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Cee Cee Soulmate story wOOt. Think like this who let Jesus into their heart... So does that make us a pilot? or more like a copilot? As a christian we leave our burdens on Jesus, accept that we can't beat sin,face obstacles that we can overcome and walk the path he prepared for us..SO mr. impatience relax on this maybe some of your abilities our being tested now so at a later date you can go back and look at A(wow what a noob I was back then) or B(why Tek7 is not a hippie)!!! Hehehe.
 
Shyfroggy said:
Thanks for the answers....

I admire the way you are thinking all this through and really taking some time to figure things out instead of just 'escaping'...

Now when babo and I met, truly the whole meeting and the way everything played out was a God thing. We 'dated' in middle school - my dad took us to a local water park. Come summer time he never called me, we went our own ways...we started high school. We went to the same high school but never caught up with each other, then our second year in college he found me on an online personals type thing...he found me at one of my lowest points in my life, and has truly brought me to the happiest time in my life. We met again in april, got engaged in september and married the following april. I fell hard and I fell fast.
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Ive really tried to take this entire thing really really slow as to not get cuaght up by anything or having anything go wrong. my brother has screwed up alot of stuff and my parents always think im going to make the same mistakes (no matter how much they say we are different) and so i'm extremely careful about everything i do. and also i try and reconize my thoughts as they come. at times i felt blinded by something and i would catch myself, take a step back and question what im doing. a good example is linkin park music, i dont know why but when i listened to their cd meteora once through, wierd thoughts started crossing my mind and i was like O_O what the duece, and caught it in time so as not to become emo lol. but thats a really neat story about you and babo. its interesting though, when me n jess met, we were in english and the teacher had us do biographys of ourselves (to understand where we all stood for writing) and i sat next to some crazy red head who was like "hey lets read each others biographys" and it was kinda creepy becuase our biographys were almost identical, we were both homeschooled, christians, lived out in the middle of no where and enjoyed activities we would hope to have jobs in (dancing for her and gaming for me ^_^ ) and it was a really wierd thing and after that we hit it off really well. she even played x-box and aoe2 and i was like..... shes perfect lol. if she had played CS i prolly would have asked her to marry me on the spot, but she doesnt really like cs so i guess shes not perfect :P . but yeah.....

Shyfroggy said:
I know you mentioned in another post about parents who might be a tad bit over-protective...mine were extremely over-protective! But looking back I am actually happy and grateful that they were the way they were when I was that age. But they also contributed to suicide attempts and a total and complete break down...but now that I'm an adult and have my own life my relationship with my parents has improved trememdously.

Anyways...I'm afraid I have rambled on...
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Alot of times my parents irratate me, but 90% of the time i know its for my best interest so i go along with it. its just the other 10% where i cant find any logical or biblical reasoning with their decisions. and yeah, see my folks wont even let me spend the night at a friends house ive known for the last year just because he lives a ways a away from the house, nor have i ever been to a party or a get together that didt have all christians involved. i hangout with non-christians but their good people or else i wouldt involve myself in the first place with them.
 
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Keep doing what you are doing and things will be just fine...might be a bit frustrating at times but I think it will all work out the way it is supposed to.

Keep recognizing your thoughts/feelings and thinking about them - that is awesome! If you keep doing that it will help you a lot in life in general.

I know how it feels to think that a relationship is perfect, only to find out that it isn't what you might have thought that it was...

And as for the parents - I completly understand where you are coming from - they NEVER let me spend the night at anybodys house....NEVER. They wouldn't let me go anywhere unless I could tell them who what where when why and how long. It really got annoying, but push through it and the outcome is great.
 
well, today was my last final day, and prolly the last day i'll see star for a while, till july/august but prolly not till middle of sept. im really kinda sad about it, but i gave her a gold bracelet and she was really happy with it, and knowing that she was happy and will hopefully enjoy the bracelet for a while makes me happy too so i guess it all works out
 
Exchange phone number's and wot, I s'pose... But really I guess that you two don't live in the same city or something because only seeing her in the school year... I dunno.
 
Weazel said:
Just wondering, did she give a reason for the breakup? Did you guys end it on good terms?
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More or less, the dating thing was really uncomfertable, she saw me as a brother/best friend and i think her mom + valentines day pressure were also stuff. and we're still pretty much best friends though too, i mean we still have really deep conversations with each other (most of the time not though :D ) we have alot of fun together so its good ^_^

and i should explain my location a little more, in the county there are 4 towns within about 10 minute of each other, 50min in a straight line. she lives 50min from mine but our school is neutral, 40min for both of us. but yeah i have her number but im one of those people who doesnt like to talk on the phone becuase my parents are notorious for listening in on phone calls, even if im calling the pizza guy they still listen in. but i'll see her online n stuff so it shouldt be too bad. the only other thing im planning on doing is sending post cards while im away from the 14th-30th of this month, i have a skillsusa national conference im competing in, in kansas city MO again.
 
Atown said:
More or less, the dating thing was really uncomfertable, she saw me as a brother/best friend and i think her mom + valentines day pressure were also stuff. and we're still pretty much best friends though too, i mean we still have really deep conversations with each other (most of the time not though :D ) we have alot of fun together so its good ^_^

and i should explain my location a little more, in the county there are 4 towns within about 10 minute of each other, 50min in a straight line. she lives 50min from mine but our school is neutral, 40min for both of us. but yeah i have her number but im one of those people who doesnt like to talk on the phone becuase my parents are notorious for listening in on phone calls, even if im calling the pizza guy they still listen in. but i'll see her online n stuff so it shouldt be too bad. the only other thing im planning on doing is sending post cards while im away from the 14th-30th of this month, i have a skillsusa national conference im competing in, in kansas city MO again.
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In that case, I really wouldn't worry about it. If she just wants to be friends right now, you should respect that.

If you guys aren't dating, I would advise not to have any deep convos with her... it may be tempting to do so, but really, it could also run the risk of making you too attached again. Just enjoy the friendship, then maybe in a year or two, you could see how it goes and maybe ask her out again :)
 
It's awesome that you are still friends...

Deep conversations - while I understand what weazel is saying, I also know that there aren't many guys out there who would even contemplate a 'deep' conversation...of course I also think it depends on the subject matter...philosophical debates on issues at hand, the meaning of life - those can be fun conversations.

Just keep it real - which is what it seems like you are doing....

And keep God involved...
 
Shyfroggy said:
Deep conversations - while I understand what weazel is saying, I also know that there aren't many guys out there who would even contemplate a 'deep' conversation...
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I used to think this way. However, it simply is not true. Generalizing guys like this is offensive and stereotypical.
of course I also think it depends on the subject matter...philosophical debates on issues at hand, the meaning of life - those can be fun conversations.
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Sorry, I assumed "deep convos" meant things like personal issues, spiritual walk, etc. Philosophical debates are less dangerous. Just be watchful though... if you find yourself getting too attached, better to back away for a while.
 
Weazel said:
I used to think this way. However, it simply is not true. Generalizing guys like this is offensive and stereotypical.Sorry, I assumed "deep convos" meant things like personal issues, spiritual walk, etc. Philosophical debates are less dangerous. Just be watchful though... if you find yourself getting too attached, better to back away for a while.
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well we do talk about personal issues and spiritual walk, including philosophical. we really are best friends. see the thing is, we do have some kind of bond, and we both dont want to, for lack of better words, fade into memory. Shes had alot of disappointment with previous friends, so she doesnt trust me when i tell her half the time that stuff will work out or that i will do what i say i'll do. and for me (and her), we can talk about anything. shes one of those friends that, blah cant describe it. but to put it simply, she knows my heart, my feelings, etc. only 1 other guy and i have a friendship like that and thats good, but im not about to seperate myself from a blessed friend.
 
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Atown said:
well we do talk about personal issues and spiritual walk, including philosophical. we really are best friends. see the thing is, we do have some kind of bond, and we both dont want to, for lack of better words, fade into memory. Shes had alot of disappointment with previous friends, so she doesnt trust me when i tell her half the time that stuff will work out or that i will do what i say i'll do. and for me (and her), we can talk about anything. shes one of those friends that, blah cant describe it. but to put it simply, she knows my heart, my feelings, etc. only 1 other guy and i have a friendship like that and thats good, but im not about to seperate myself from a blessed friend.
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How would you differentiate this relationship from a boyfriend/girlfriend one?

Second, do you have a youth pastor or youth leader at your church?
 
Weazel said:
How would you differentiate this relationship from a boyfriend/girlfriend one?

Second, do you have a youth pastor or youth leader at your church?
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how do u mean differentiate? i mean obvously there are differences but what in detail are u asking?

and i use to go to a youth group, i left there for many reasons. and the church my family is planning on leaving has none becuases to small. and if they did it would prolly be the worship leader who i have many many many issues with. so not as right now.
 
Weazel said:
I used to think this way. However, it simply is not true. Generalizing guys like this is offensive and stereotypical.Sorry, I assumed "deep convos" meant things like personal issues, spiritual walk, etc. Philosophical debates are less dangerous. Just be watchful though... if you find yourself getting too attached, better to back away for a while.
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I'm sorry that I offened you weazel. Maybe I should have worded that - "In my experience with the guys who have entered my life, I've found that many of them wouldn't even contemplate a 'deep' conversation, especially when in high school." I guess it is a matter of wording, again I am sorry.

Deep Conversations encompasses pretty much anything and everything, that is why I started with philosophical/meaning of life type conversations.

I think that pretty much any conversation has the potential to become personal/deep. I would assume that when talking to a friend like Atown describes star, you (more likely than not) will end up discussing matter at hand/feelings of the heart/ideas and thoughts...which of course has the potential to get deep.

I don't really see that as such a big deal and reason to back up, or away from a relationship...it seems from what Atown has said that they were friends prior to dating, and have remained friends....Also from what Atown has shared it seems that they had these deep conversations before dating, as they were building a friendship.

I agree with you 100% Atown - don't separate yourself from a blessed friendship, they don't happen everyday.
 
Shyfroggy said:
I'm sorry that I offened you weazel. Maybe I should have worded that - "In my experience with the guys who have entered my life, I've found that many of them wouldn't even contemplate a 'deep' conversation, especially when in high school." I guess it is a matter of wording, again I am sorry.

Deep Conversations encompasses pretty much anything and everything, that is why I started with philosophical/meaning of life type conversations.
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My reasons for why this is not true is for several reasons... First off, it is very stereotypical, as is most generalizations. Second, I can see why you may be led to think guys do not have deep convos, but then I can think the same way about certain girls. Third, part of it is our culture and the way the media portrays it - that all guys ever do is drink beer, burp, and watch sports.

For a better understanding of what men can really become, I suggest reading God's Gift to Women by Eric Ludy (There's also the female version, Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy)
I think that pretty much any conversation has the potential to become personal/deep. I would assume that when talking to a friend like Atown describes star, you (more likely than not) will end up discussing matter at hand/feelings of the heart/ideas and thoughts...which of course has the potential to get deep.

I don't really see that as such a big deal and reason to back up, or away from a relationship...it seems from what Atown has said that they were friends prior to dating, and have remained friends....Also from what Atown has shared it seems that they had these deep conversations before dating, as they were building a friendship.

I agree with you 100% Atown - don't separate yourself from a blessed friendship, they don't happen everyday.
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I talked to Atown a little bit over aim about this. For the sake of confidentiality, I won't go into much details about his situation, which I'll let him say if he wants to.

I have nothing against friendships between opposite genders... I mean, how else do you find someone to marry? :) However, in these relationships especially do you have to be extremely careful in guarding your heart. It is indeed a very fragile thing.
 
Weazel said:
I talked to Atown a little bit over aim about this. For the sake of confidentiality, I won't go into much details about his situation, which I'll let him say if he wants to.

I have nothing against friendships between opposite genders... I mean, how else do you find someone to marry? :) However, in these relationships especially do you have to be extremely careful in guarding your heart. It is indeed a very fragile thing.
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lol, dotn know how ot describe much of conversation last night but more or less, went over most of the basis of everything and talked about options on future events n stuff.

And on the heart thing, it really has amazed me becuase, even though it hurt when she broke up with me, shes handled everything very graciously. i mean everything could have been alot worse when i think about it, but its turned out ok. a good example is how many girls would allow a guy to cry in their arms after breaking up ? O_o

I don't really see that as such a big deal and reason to back up, or away from a relationship...it seems from what Atown has said that they were friends prior to dating, and have remained friends....Also from what Atown has shared it seems that they had these deep conversations before dating, as they were building a friendship.
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Yeah we were really good friends several months before dating.
 
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Again, haha, related to ChickenSoup's topic. I believe in not dating... True love waits. Its not a thing about it being WRONG. Its just that there is one that will really fit with you, (doesn't mean it is perfect) but I believe that dating does not make things better for your life. I am staying away from dating... prolly until junior year in college. maybe later? iono. haha.

this does not probably apply to you, but look at this:

More dating/similar things now adays ---> Higher divorce rate...

HMMM.... I don't think there's a correlation. Because couples break up so much and their idea of love may be different, i believe it leads to the high divorce rate in the united states. *this is not directed at anyone, just a comment that popped ni my head.

anyway, whatever. btw, you can be really close friends with a member of the opposite sex, ACK, nevermind. lol. forget this paragraph.
 
SLNT_FIR said:
Again, haha, related to ChickenSoup's topic. I believe in not dating... True love waits. Its not a thing about it being WRONG. Its just that there is one that will really fit with you, (doesn't mean it is perfect) but I believe that dating does not make things better for your life. I am staying away from dating... prolly until junior year in college. maybe later? iono. haha.

this does not probably apply to you, but look at this:

More dating/similar things now adays ---> Higher divorce rate...

HMMM.... I don't think there's a correlation. Because couples break up so much and their idea of love may be different, i believe it leads to the high divorce rate in the united states. *this is not directed at anyone, just a comment that popped ni my head.

anyway, whatever. btw, you can be really close friends with a member of the opposite sex, ACK, nevermind. lol. forget this paragraph.
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lol fire i had the exact same thoughts as u, but that was before i met star... i still discourage others from dating just because its un needed but im stuck on what i do myself lol
 
It has little to do with "right" and "wrong". As Paul writes, everything is permissable, but not everything is beneficial. The problem with "dating" or if you prefer, "courtship" is that many people are tempted to go into dating too early, or they have the wrong attitude with it.

For anyone who wants to contemplate dating, ask yourself this: What is your reasons for wanting to date? What I believe, which may or may not be true of others, is that dating, or courtship, is to see if you and the person you are dating are compatible for marriage. Therefore, I do not think you should date unless you are or are close to being, ready for marriage.
I believe in dating but no, erm... you know what until marriage
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I suggest you hold a stronger stance on this issue. What about kissing? Hugging? Snuggling? Shotgun dating? Dating multiple girls at once?
 
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