when life happens, how do u cope?? i generally drown myself in work or gaming, but anytime i go to the bathroom or eat something, everything comes back... wtc >_<
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DarthDapor
New Member
This is one reason I personally enjoy gaming. It stops me from thinking "too much" so to speak. How do I coup? I live my life, I guess. There will be times when your down, and depressed. But just look ahead to that day when you will no longer be sad!
Tek7 (Legacy)
CGA & ToJ President
I know this may sound odd coming from the President of a gaming community, but it's unhealthy to use gaming to escape. And when I say "escape," I'm not referring to taking a short break from the day-to-day grind after you get home from school or work. That in itself can be an excellent way to unwind, relax, and fellowship with other Christians. When I say "escape," I mean "running from your problems." Though others may not be able to distinguish the line for you, there's likely a still, small voice that alerts you when you've crossed from relaxing to running.
Since suffering is inevitable, it's best to choose the type of suffering that best serves God--and, in turn, serves you. Instead of trying to run from the problem, confront it. If there's a pastor or mentor figure you trust, go to them and talk through your problems. If there's no such person in your life, grab your Bible, get outside (away from the computer), and sit and read. Though you shouldn't feel obligated to follow a formula, I suggest starting your "quiet time" in prayer, praying that God will guide you as you read His Word.
In modern life, there are so many opportunities to indulge in "noise" that, while not inherently evil, often distracts us from hearing God. Set everything aside, at least for a while. While you can pray just as sincerely inside your house as outside, I've found that setting my eyes on God's creation often helps me shift my focus from my own works and onto God's.
And no, I'm not a hippie.
Since suffering is inevitable, it's best to choose the type of suffering that best serves God--and, in turn, serves you. Instead of trying to run from the problem, confront it. If there's a pastor or mentor figure you trust, go to them and talk through your problems. If there's no such person in your life, grab your Bible, get outside (away from the computer), and sit and read. Though you shouldn't feel obligated to follow a formula, I suggest starting your "quiet time" in prayer, praying that God will guide you as you read His Word.
In modern life, there are so many opportunities to indulge in "noise" that, while not inherently evil, often distracts us from hearing God. Set everything aside, at least for a while. While you can pray just as sincerely inside your house as outside, I've found that setting my eyes on God's creation often helps me shift my focus from my own works and onto God's.
And no, I'm not a hippie.
Talon
Active Member
This might sound crazy, but do what I do sometimes. Walk away from the computer and all games for 1 day, 24 hours. Dont turn on any computers, consoles, no forums, emails, teamspeak.
take a day off and relax.
Sometimes I have to do that, to clear my mind, think about a lot of stuff and deal with it, then i'm all refreshed and not worrying about things the next day or the next month.
take a day off and relax.
Sometimes I have to do that, to clear my mind, think about a lot of stuff and deal with it, then i'm all refreshed and not worrying about things the next day or the next month.
blahs, see thats the thing (and im not trying to have pity party though it sounds like it when i repeat it to myself), i dont really have anywhere to go, i have no car, and i live out in the boonies. and mentor figuires -_- , out of 3 churches i can say yeah..... noone. most of the time they really dont help me even when i ask the simplest of questions, its always some kind of generic answer. and like i said, if i wanted to go somewhere to clear my head, theres no where to go not only from location standpoint but also micro-managing parrents that question my every action. heck they'll ask me bout 4 times a day "who are u talking to?" when im on TS and they know im on that all the time. but yeah >.> . and i really try and sit n pray but nothing happens..... it feels like absolute nothingness... thats why i come here becuase you people know me n stuff and generally help me and i appreciate it alot. and i know gaming is un-healthy in the manner of which im doing it, but i have nothing else. as u may notice i have like 20+ hours on WoW, and i spent 7 hours trying to make a dual p2 start and troubleshooting it....
Talon
Active Member
We all have our own way of relaxing. Me, when i take a day off from the comptuer, I got outside, do some yard work (me likes to do yard work), or go archery shooting or just watch tv, maybe clean, something besides the computer.
MaidMirawyn
New Member
Try doing something for someone else. In this case, just taking your mind off yourself isn't enough. Offer to help your mom out with something, or help your dad with yardwork. Help out an elderly relative or neighbor. Volunteer down at your church or at a charity. This will give you something positive to focus on.
Merely trying to pretend you don't hurt or escape the hurt won't help. It's like the white elephant thing: tell someone not to think about a white elephant and that's the one thing they won't think about! You have to find something more compelling than your pain; volunteering gives you a positive focus.
As a bonus, your mom will probably worry less and ease up some. They probably see you're in pain (even if you think you're hiding it well).
I'm not trying to diminish your pain, by the way. I know you're hurting; I know emotional pain can be far worse than physical. (I had manic-depressive tendencies in high school.) But if you don't find a way to deal with the pain, it will only get worse.
Merely trying to pretend you don't hurt or escape the hurt won't help. It's like the white elephant thing: tell someone not to think about a white elephant and that's the one thing they won't think about! You have to find something more compelling than your pain; volunteering gives you a positive focus.
As a bonus, your mom will probably worry less and ease up some. They probably see you're in pain (even if you think you're hiding it well).
I'm not trying to diminish your pain, by the way. I know you're hurting; I know emotional pain can be far worse than physical. (I had manic-depressive tendencies in high school.) But if you don't find a way to deal with the pain, it will only get worse.
working on what u said MM, helped a little bit today. gonna be workign with a girl on setting up a website n stuff for her art. and i was able to go out today, friend was driving me home and i was like...... go straight dont turn, and i was able to go to beach spot i use to visit with folks. was really beautiful out and i think i figuired out some stuff. i think, without starfire and giving up all hope of being together, i kinda lost what i was living for in a way. besides God ive never really had anything really important to me....
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DarthDapor
New Member
Ya know what, confront it nothing. Ok you hov no clue what mine are!Tek7 said:I know this may sound odd coming from the President of a gaming community, but it's unhealthy to use gaming to escape. And when I say "escape," I'm not referring to taking a short break from the day-to-day grind after you get home from school or work. That in itself can be an excellent way to unwind, relax, and fellowship with other Christians. When I say "escape," I mean "running from your problems." Though others may not be able to distinguish the line for you, there's likely a still, small voice that alerts you when you've crossed from relaxing to running.
Since suffering is inevitable, it's best to choose the type of suffering that best serves God--and, in turn, serves you. Instead of trying to run from the problem, confront it. If there's a pastor or mentor figure you trust, go to them and talk through your problems. If there's no such person in your life, grab your Bible, get outside (away from the computer), and sit and read. Though you shouldn't feel obligated to follow a formula, I suggest starting your "quiet time" in prayer, praying that God will guide you as you read His Word.
In modern life, there are so many opportunities to indulge in "noise" that, while not inherently evil, often distracts us from hearing God. Set everything aside, at least for a while. While you can pray just as sincerely inside your house as outside, I've found that setting my eyes on God's creation often helps me shift my focus from my own works and onto God's.
And no, I'm not a hippie.
huh?
Avesther
New Member
Atown said:
What do you mean by "When life happens?" Life happens all the time and if you put it on the back burner, it will come back and bite you when you least expect it such in the bathroom or at dinner time.
I suspect that when you say "when life happens" you mean when the bad stuff happens. A friend moves away, bill collectors start to call, loose of a job, girl friend dumps you, that kind of stuff. I guess your question could be rephrased to: When the negative life happens.
Well, if thats the case, let me ask you this:
What do you do when the postive life happens? Do you try and drown it out in gaming and work? Probably not. You probably embrace it and go with it for as long as it lasts. So why not deal with the negatives the same way. Grab it by the kahoonas and go with it for as long as it lasts. Bill collector calling, sit down and pay them. Lost a job, then spend 8 hours a day looking for a new one until you find it. Best friend just moved to another state, start making plans to visit them.
Somebody once told me that nobody likes to clean the toilets, but if it needs to be cleaned, the best way to deal with it is to go get the toilet cleaner and do it, not run away. Nobody likes to deal with the negatives in life, but everybody has negatives to deal with. And the best way to deal with them is to just to make a plan to deal with them and follow the plan through.
hmmm i understand what ur saying Peon, and it makes alot of sense. kinda akward to go "embrace" it so to speak, becuase ive finally let go of some stuff but it really hurts still (sadly entire situation revolves around a girl), but im gonna work at it. youve kinda given me something to grab onto and run with. thanks
cc.slim
Moderator
The trail the cross and the journey
Hey I found a neat trail grab some of your favorite things and lets go I have something really neat to show you... Ready? Awsome! Lets go! Its a good thing its close since you have such a heavy backpack almost there and Wow huh alot of backpacks just thrown on the side of the trail. Lets take a break right here a moment and see what all that weight is that you have in your backpack for the trail does get steep up ahead. Lets look ahahahaha your laptop oooo nice and and whaaa a history book oh my have they gotten thick and and odds and ends and oh yeh your bible sweet.Grab your bible just to have essentials and follow me just up the hill just a bit no don't worry you can see your backpack if you need it. Great o grab them sour twizzlers too, I just love them things.Few more steps look back. See pack still there now turn around and look up yeh thats the cross. Yeh someone died here. Lets see Yeh its say throw your burdens upon me Wonderful thing tho he intended for us to reach the top and told all of us to throw our stuff on him and go on. So out faith we drop our packs here and go on and whats odd is you can always look back and still it. Anyway do you want leave it?Yeh mines been there awhile and no I don't want it hahaha. Great you need your energy to finish this.Umm Umm But Umm theres a bear theres a bear there a bear no no relax, relax!Git back here and don't get off the trail. Listen listen that guy that died down there gave us free passage past that ol bear because very few could get passed it.Oh yeh respect the bear thats why you have to stay on the path because when you get off you can just barely see the bear and getting back on this trail is alot harder than the way we came and anyway you can see better on the trail to let the bear juuust mosey right on past, there woot free to go on up.Hotdog just a little more and Ahahaha you silly goose you stumbled on that stone hehehee yeh throw it hard. w00t nice arm. Oh! Oh! You OK wow two steps then bam Ow huh.Oh my you did run into a big rock No I didn't put it there gosh look its huge How could you not see it I know I know they just pop up and so you got to move them out the way.What do you mean you can't move it.But you can! Oh yeh you can handle most anything on this trail in fact see your pack still down there.Yeh that same guy promised that its within your ability but here rrrruumph there out of the way.Now you can move these if you reflect on it long enough or you can go for help and ask others to help you. I fact I ran into a big one further up just like yours. hehehe no I didn't recruit you to go help me move it.. Yet. hehehe I just took a walk back to clear my head and relax some.Then I seen you down there and well you know the rest.. There we're here look back.Yep pack still there now look ahead neat the trail goes on and it looks like parts of the trail are made of clouds to the other side so neat... Yeh I do like to go back a see my favorite sights and meet people like you. Kinda my escape i guess but I can't bear to close my eyes because yeh u know them rocks boulders and wonders that I might miss... Well your tired we might out to get you on down.You can make ok? You sure? Ok, well anytime you want to come up here just come on you already cleared your path up this far. Of course the trail goes on up. Hey careful going down great great I really enjoyed your company. Woot LAUS DEO for the journey!!!!
Hey I found a neat trail grab some of your favorite things and lets go I have something really neat to show you... Ready? Awsome! Lets go! Its a good thing its close since you have such a heavy backpack almost there and Wow huh alot of backpacks just thrown on the side of the trail. Lets take a break right here a moment and see what all that weight is that you have in your backpack for the trail does get steep up ahead. Lets look ahahahaha your laptop oooo nice and and whaaa a history book oh my have they gotten thick and and odds and ends and oh yeh your bible sweet.Grab your bible just to have essentials and follow me just up the hill just a bit no don't worry you can see your backpack if you need it. Great o grab them sour twizzlers too, I just love them things.Few more steps look back. See pack still there now turn around and look up yeh thats the cross. Yeh someone died here. Lets see Yeh its say throw your burdens upon me Wonderful thing tho he intended for us to reach the top and told all of us to throw our stuff on him and go on. So out faith we drop our packs here and go on and whats odd is you can always look back and still it. Anyway do you want leave it?Yeh mines been there awhile and no I don't want it hahaha. Great you need your energy to finish this.Umm Umm But Umm theres a bear theres a bear there a bear no no relax, relax!Git back here and don't get off the trail. Listen listen that guy that died down there gave us free passage past that ol bear because very few could get passed it.Oh yeh respect the bear thats why you have to stay on the path because when you get off you can just barely see the bear and getting back on this trail is alot harder than the way we came and anyway you can see better on the trail to let the bear juuust mosey right on past, there woot free to go on up.Hotdog just a little more and Ahahaha you silly goose you stumbled on that stone hehehee yeh throw it hard. w00t nice arm. Oh! Oh! You OK wow two steps then bam Ow huh.Oh my you did run into a big rock No I didn't put it there gosh look its huge How could you not see it I know I know they just pop up and so you got to move them out the way.What do you mean you can't move it.But you can! Oh yeh you can handle most anything on this trail in fact see your pack still down there.Yeh that same guy promised that its within your ability but here rrrruumph there out of the way.Now you can move these if you reflect on it long enough or you can go for help and ask others to help you. I fact I ran into a big one further up just like yours. hehehe no I didn't recruit you to go help me move it.. Yet. hehehe I just took a walk back to clear my head and relax some.Then I seen you down there and well you know the rest.. There we're here look back.Yep pack still there now look ahead neat the trail goes on and it looks like parts of the trail are made of clouds to the other side so neat... Yeh I do like to go back a see my favorite sights and meet people like you. Kinda my escape i guess but I can't bear to close my eyes because yeh u know them rocks boulders and wonders that I might miss... Well your tired we might out to get you on down.You can make ok? You sure? Ok, well anytime you want to come up here just come on you already cleared your path up this far. Of course the trail goes on up. Hey careful going down great great I really enjoyed your company. Woot LAUS DEO for the journey!!!!
ummmm.... that kinda made sense.....
Weazel
New Member
Try to find support from strong Christian (male) friends. It doesn't have to be someone who can mentor you, but just people whom you can trust and people who you know will not cause you to stumble.
PS. did it have to do with your girlfriend, Starfire? (Don't answer if you don't want to)
PS. did it have to do with your girlfriend, Starfire? (Don't answer if you don't want to)
uhhh yeah actually it does, but the sad fact is she broke up with me like.... week before easter i think, but when i finally let go of everything (just recently) thats when i really was having trouble and i posted this.
DarthDapor
New Member
Ah!!! For a moment I thought you could relate to my problems.
cc.slim
Moderator
Hold it!!! pic momentclick z.z.z.z.z. dang I gotta upgrade to a new camera hehe Just a thought, that on your path to your soulmate you must first trust and then surround yourself with fellow believers. Maybe step out and look beyond just your church, Youth rally's is a excellent place to meet people ah''''' one of my fav pics is my first rally!!! I met so many people woot but me sad no internet then just mail. So don't burn no bridges one of my buddies met his sixth grade crush at a church singles thingy and they got hitched.Hehehe they said they never dis'd each other but once he pop'd sumthin off n got clobbered hehehe was funny..So alway's keep girls as friends, keep nice pics of the past until Your soul mate arrives and its a blessing for both! wOOt as ONE... So no hurry just keep good pics and stay on the path...
hehehe, thankyou slim that one helped, lol the last one made me think u should write kids books with little pictures n stuff, was abstract but had a real point in it that applied to RL. but actually the thing about keeping pictures is one thing ive been wondering about becuase i have a few that were taken like..... 2 days before she broke up with me and for a while i was like.... do i even want these anymore?? but yeah, and i have surrounded myself more n more with christians. i use to hangout with a christian table group but it was more of a clique and i cant stand it. but ive found other christians to hang out with and my birthday party coming up soon and i'll have 2 old friends (toj glitch and highlander/pwnbeard) and 2 new ones (toj dark bot, and star) so im doing pretty good i think. thanks everyone
Weazel
New Member
Sorry to hear that, this is partly why I always try to emphasize not dating until you're truly ready. I hope you have a good time at your birthday though.
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