ajmucha
New Member
lol, who all is in it?
A book in progress...
- Thread starter ChickenSoup
- Start date
ChickenSoup
Banned
To be honest, I lost track. At one point, I think you were working with ArchAngel. You were a pyromaniac, I believe..
ChickenSoup
Banned
he he, I'm waiting for MM or dorkelf to respond
Lazarus
New Member
Respond by banning you? 
dorkelf
Active Member
Hey C$ you forgot to post that chapter you pm'ed me a while ago - here, I'll post it for you.
Chapter 12
Later in the evening as C$ slept, dorkelf quietly slipped a key into his cell door. He turned it and it made an ear-piercing squeek that reverberated throughout the small cell room. C$ turned toward dorkelf, let out a loud snore and drooled on his Jump 5 pillow. He was a very sound sleeper, as long as he managed to have a cookie and milk before bed.
The cookie jar was on the other side of the bed from C$. Dorkelf approched it with trepidation. He had to know...he already suspected it now, because the aroma of the cookies could already be smelled even while the jar was closed. He opened the jar and extracted a cookie, looked at it carefully, salivating but not daring to eat it. Unmistakably, it was a minion cookie. He looked down at C$, shook his head with pity. Only five cookies left, and then...dorkelf shuddered. He placed the cookie back in the jar and left, shaking his head.
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ChickenSoup
Banned
Lazarus
New Member
lol, that was funny.
...I don't get it.
...I don't get it.
lol, that was funny.
...I don't get it.
Me neither...
Stc95
Tribe of Judah Guild Wars Chapter Leader
I wanna jar of Minion Cookies!!!! GIMME GIMME GIMME!!! hey Paul... you think you can slip me some on Tuesday PvP? huh? PLZ!
i get it
Armandus
New Member
I am addicted to this whole story, so awesome...
Amazing writing skills, and an expansive imagination C$. Keep them coming, because anything that makes me giggle like a school boy, is worth reading.
Amazing writing skills, and an expansive imagination C$. Keep them coming, because anything that makes me giggle like a school boy, is worth reading.
ChickenSoup
Banned
Yeah the problem is between this and another story on CCGR.org and life in general plus a story for a scholarship contest it's kind of hectic... lol which is why the posts now are kind of seldom
Lazarus
New Member
Speaking of another story on ccgr... PLAGIARIST! 
j/k
Armandus, there is a BiPAA program you can take if you want.
(Book in Progress Addicts Anonymous)
j/k
Armandus, there is a BiPAA program you can take if you want.
(Book in Progress Addicts Anonymous)
ChickenSoup
Banned
Chapter 15
Later in the evening as C$ slept, dorkelf quietly slipped a key into his cell door. He turned it and it made an ear-piercing squeek that reverberated throughout the small cell room. C$ turned toward dorkelf, let out a loud snore and drooled on his Jump 5 pillow. He was a very sound sleeper, as long as he managed to have a cookie and milk before bed.
The cookie jar was on the other side of the bed from C$. Dorkelf approched it with trepidation. He had to know...he already suspected it now, because the aroma of the cookies could already be smelled even while the jar was closed. He opened the jar and extracted a cookie, looked at it carefully, salivating but not daring to eat it. Unmistakably, it was a minion cookie. He looked down at C$, shook his head with pity. Only five cookies left, and then...dorkelf shuddered. He placed the cookie back in the jar and left, shaking his head.
A few days later, C$ sprang from his cell a free man, with just enough time and Minion Cookie left inside him to place a smuggled thermal charge from Dorkelf on Maid Mirawyn's cell door while no one was looking. (he had been banned twice before, so everyone figured he'd just follow protocol like he usually did) The blast seared open the titanium door (it was quality pyrotechnics, being made by ajmuncha (resident pyromaniac)) in a matter of seconds.
"Maid.... I.... must... not.." C$ struggled with the cookies inside of him, trying to resist being made a minion.
"Don't fight it, boy!" hissed Maid Mirawyn, who had given up gnawing off her own leg after she found out that it hurt too much. She was still hanging there, and her face was red and swollen from the blood rushing to her head.
"You... foul..." he sputtered, but he found his body acting against his will. His out-of-control hand brought forth a knife that Dorkelf had also smuggled to him, and it sliced through Maid's stuck sock and she fell to the floor.
"Now, I want you to go and take care of one2dredd. Understand?" she barked.
"You... you can't do this!!" cried C$, but the minion cookies forced him to do her will.
"Ta-ta! I'm off to assist HCS. I really shouldn't tell you this, but-" she leaned closer to him, wrinkling her nose at the smell of his minion cookie breath, "-we're going to melt the polar caps and watch from space as you all perish. You knoww, the sea tides will cover the entire United States with four and a half feet of water..." she whispered into his ear.
"Four foot six?!" he cried. "You won't kill anyone with that except..." his eyes grew wide.
"Yes, Souphead my boy... Gary Coleman." She cackled and took off down the hallway, and C$ followed unwillingly but forced by the will of the dreaded Cookie to "take care of" Dredd.
C$ struggled to rid himself of the Minion Cookies as he stood before One2dredd.
"Yes, C$?" asked dredd absentmindedly as he typed away at an email to the President of the U.S.
"I... I... RUN, DREDD!!! RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!" screamed C$, clutching his stomach in agony as the Minion Cookies burned his stomach in retaliation to his defiance.
"Wha-?" started dredd, but he could see glowing letters through Soup's thin T-shirt. It said "Made, with love, by MaidMirawyn!"
"MINION COOKIES?!" he cried, backing out of his chair and reaching for his trusty paintball gun.
"RUN, DREDD! I...." C$ yelled, but his face changed in mid-sentence.
"I... believe you are... in need of... disposing!" he croaked with a maniacal grin.
"You can fight this, Soupboy!" shouted dredd vehemently, trying to dissuade C$ from his destructive mission.
"Don't get yourself banned again!" he added, halfheartedly. Soup replied in a rumbling bass voice that a 15 year old should not possess.
"Do not make this any more painful for yourself than it needs to be!" he bellowed, grabbing Dredd's office desk and tossing it at him as if it weighed nothing. Dredd ducked just in time and managed to pepper his assailant with frozen paintballs (OUCHY WAWA), but C$ only laughed.
Suddenly, Darth Dapor ran into the room.
"I'M HERE! I'M HERE! DID I MISS ANYTHI..." he shouted, and stopped in mid-leap when he saw the situation.
"CURSE YOU, MIRAWYN!!!" He bellowed. "CUUUUUUUURSE YOOOOOOOOOU!!!"
C$ turned to toss a water cooler at him but was surprised by Darth's speed. In half a second, Darth Dapor had leaped across the room and slammed his fist into Chicken Soup's cheek, sending him flying across the room. C$ moaned and almost lapsed into unconsciousness when the cookies, now in his intestines, burned with such an intensity that he could not do anything but try to stand once more. But, with another super-human leap, Darth was in front of him.
"IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, SOUP!" he yelled, shoving a bottle into C$'s mouth. In a few moments, it was drained, and C$ choked on the foul stuff.
"What was that?!" he cried. "Tell me it was ipecac syrup! It's the only way to free me!"
"It's too far down to do that now, I'm afraid," replied Darth coolly. "I had to use liquid laxatives. It's cherry flavor, but I've heard it taste rancid."
C$'s eyes grew wide with horror as he heard a gurgling in his belly.
"I've... I've got to go to the bathroom!!" he screamed, running out of the room.
[EDIT: Sorry C$, we'll have to leave the bathroom events to the reader's imagination.]
[EDIT: n00bcat. I liked that scene]
"Greetings, Armandus," said Hescominsoon. "I appreciate your services."
"The pleasure is all mine," replied Armandus, fingering a switchblade in his hand, the 10-inch blade gleaming in the moonlight.
"Did you recieve your mission briefing?" inquired HCS.
"Yeah, you want me to go steal the International Space Station or something," snorted Armandus.
"Commandeer. We're going to commandeer the ISS. Nautical term."
Later in the evening as C$ slept, dorkelf quietly slipped a key into his cell door. He turned it and it made an ear-piercing squeek that reverberated throughout the small cell room. C$ turned toward dorkelf, let out a loud snore and drooled on his Jump 5 pillow. He was a very sound sleeper, as long as he managed to have a cookie and milk before bed.
The cookie jar was on the other side of the bed from C$. Dorkelf approched it with trepidation. He had to know...he already suspected it now, because the aroma of the cookies could already be smelled even while the jar was closed. He opened the jar and extracted a cookie, looked at it carefully, salivating but not daring to eat it. Unmistakably, it was a minion cookie. He looked down at C$, shook his head with pity. Only five cookies left, and then...dorkelf shuddered. He placed the cookie back in the jar and left, shaking his head.
A few days later, C$ sprang from his cell a free man, with just enough time and Minion Cookie left inside him to place a smuggled thermal charge from Dorkelf on Maid Mirawyn's cell door while no one was looking. (he had been banned twice before, so everyone figured he'd just follow protocol like he usually did) The blast seared open the titanium door (it was quality pyrotechnics, being made by ajmuncha (resident pyromaniac)) in a matter of seconds.
"Maid.... I.... must... not.." C$ struggled with the cookies inside of him, trying to resist being made a minion.
"Don't fight it, boy!" hissed Maid Mirawyn, who had given up gnawing off her own leg after she found out that it hurt too much. She was still hanging there, and her face was red and swollen from the blood rushing to her head.
"You... foul..." he sputtered, but he found his body acting against his will. His out-of-control hand brought forth a knife that Dorkelf had also smuggled to him, and it sliced through Maid's stuck sock and she fell to the floor.
"Now, I want you to go and take care of one2dredd. Understand?" she barked.
"You... you can't do this!!" cried C$, but the minion cookies forced him to do her will.
"Ta-ta! I'm off to assist HCS. I really shouldn't tell you this, but-" she leaned closer to him, wrinkling her nose at the smell of his minion cookie breath, "-we're going to melt the polar caps and watch from space as you all perish. You knoww, the sea tides will cover the entire United States with four and a half feet of water..." she whispered into his ear.
"Four foot six?!" he cried. "You won't kill anyone with that except..." his eyes grew wide.
"Yes, Souphead my boy... Gary Coleman." She cackled and took off down the hallway, and C$ followed unwillingly but forced by the will of the dreaded Cookie to "take care of" Dredd.
C$ struggled to rid himself of the Minion Cookies as he stood before One2dredd.
"Yes, C$?" asked dredd absentmindedly as he typed away at an email to the President of the U.S.
"I... I... RUN, DREDD!!! RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!" screamed C$, clutching his stomach in agony as the Minion Cookies burned his stomach in retaliation to his defiance.
"Wha-?" started dredd, but he could see glowing letters through Soup's thin T-shirt. It said "Made, with love, by MaidMirawyn!"
"MINION COOKIES?!" he cried, backing out of his chair and reaching for his trusty paintball gun.
"RUN, DREDD! I...." C$ yelled, but his face changed in mid-sentence.
"I... believe you are... in need of... disposing!" he croaked with a maniacal grin.
"You can fight this, Soupboy!" shouted dredd vehemently, trying to dissuade C$ from his destructive mission.
"Don't get yourself banned again!" he added, halfheartedly. Soup replied in a rumbling bass voice that a 15 year old should not possess.
"Do not make this any more painful for yourself than it needs to be!" he bellowed, grabbing Dredd's office desk and tossing it at him as if it weighed nothing. Dredd ducked just in time and managed to pepper his assailant with frozen paintballs (OUCHY WAWA), but C$ only laughed.
Suddenly, Darth Dapor ran into the room.
"I'M HERE! I'M HERE! DID I MISS ANYTHI..." he shouted, and stopped in mid-leap when he saw the situation.
"CURSE YOU, MIRAWYN!!!" He bellowed. "CUUUUUUUURSE YOOOOOOOOOU!!!"
C$ turned to toss a water cooler at him but was surprised by Darth's speed. In half a second, Darth Dapor had leaped across the room and slammed his fist into Chicken Soup's cheek, sending him flying across the room. C$ moaned and almost lapsed into unconsciousness when the cookies, now in his intestines, burned with such an intensity that he could not do anything but try to stand once more. But, with another super-human leap, Darth was in front of him.
"IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, SOUP!" he yelled, shoving a bottle into C$'s mouth. In a few moments, it was drained, and C$ choked on the foul stuff.
"What was that?!" he cried. "Tell me it was ipecac syrup! It's the only way to free me!"
"It's too far down to do that now, I'm afraid," replied Darth coolly. "I had to use liquid laxatives. It's cherry flavor, but I've heard it taste rancid."
C$'s eyes grew wide with horror as he heard a gurgling in his belly.
"I've... I've got to go to the bathroom!!" he screamed, running out of the room.
[EDIT: Sorry C$, we'll have to leave the bathroom events to the reader's imagination.]
[EDIT: n00bcat. I liked that scene]
"Greetings, Armandus," said Hescominsoon. "I appreciate your services."
"The pleasure is all mine," replied Armandus, fingering a switchblade in his hand, the 10-inch blade gleaming in the moonlight.
"Did you recieve your mission briefing?" inquired HCS.
"Yeah, you want me to go steal the International Space Station or something," snorted Armandus.
"Commandeer. We're going to commandeer the ISS. Nautical term."
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Lazarus
New Member
Lol. Good one, C$.
dorkelf
Active Member
I'm not sure I have ever read anything funnier than that Gary Coleman line C$. Though I'm curious how someone as young as you even knows who he is.
Paul
Though I'm curious how someone as young as you even knows who he is. Paul
ChickenSoup
Banned
I'm not sure I have ever read anything funnier than that Gary Coleman line C$.
Paul
>_> <_<
...to be perfectly honest... he was on a certain Simpsons Christmas Special...
dorkelf
Active Member
From Wikipedia:
"[Gary Coleman is mainly known] for his role as Arnold Jackson in the American sitcom Diff'rent Strokes.
During the eight-year run of the show, where his famous line was "what'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Coleman was a popular figure, starring in a number of feature films and made-for-TV movies including On the Right Track, and The Kid with the Broken Halo. The Kid With the Broken Halo eventually served as the basis for the Hanna-Barbera produced animated series The Gary Coleman Show from 1982.
At the height of his fame on Diff'rent Strokes, Coleman earned $70,000 per episode. As he grew older, however, he fell from public favor. After the cancellation of Diff'rent Strokes, his acting career declined sharply. He did play a building code inspector in a Married... with Children episode (#S08E16, "How Green Was My Apple") where Bundy had called him to report an illegal driveway.
In 1995, Coleman was also featured as character "Mad Dog" on the show Martin (Episode title: "High Noon"), in which he played an ex-convict whom Martin helped to imprison. Once released, Mad Dog comes looking for Martin.
In 1997, Coleman did voice work for the The Curse of Monkey Island, the third installment in the Monkey Island series of comedy adventure games developed by LucasArts, as Kenny Falmouth, the lemon juice boy. In 2004, Coleman played a supporting role in the controversial computer game Postal² by Running With Scissors, Inc...
[Snip to the end]
Coleman appeared on the People's Court on November 2, 2000, charged with assault. He was ordered to pay bus driver Tracy Fields $1,665 for hospital bills resulting from a fight. Fields had attempted to get Coleman's autograph while he was shopping for a bulletproof vest in a California mall.[1] Coleman said he felt "threatened by her insistence" and punched her in the head. Coleman was working as a security guard at the time[2]. This incident was later parodied on Chappelle's Show, on The Smoking Gun, and on The Simpsons' episode "Grift of the Magi"."
BTW I love those Monkey Island games, didn't realize Coleman was involved!
Paul
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ChickenSoup
Banned
Lol he 0wnd a security d00d