Nice triple-module analysis...elegant... but I would suggest an addition/change...
Passion: Improving faith, belief, and reason - from the simple surprise and improvement of hope in a single individual, to the global redirections of the course of the world through prayer and...
Are we lazy dreamers?
Which of the sets of five virgins are we?
Have we wasted the harvest for clouds of math and light?
Do we forgoe the reality the Lord has created for something of men?
Personally, I suspect there is grace enough for the dalliances we enjoy in these fictional worlds...
hmm... something that might interest dorkelf... /lol...
more lessons about dealings with the fairer sex - perhaps...
A man can only defeat a woman by doing
And though he may have won her by wooing
He will not keep her by pursuing, but by renewing
THEY EVADE IN THE HOPES
OF BEING...
how about some instruction in the art of "huntsmanship"...
If thou wishest to domesticate Aphrodite's hart
Thy eyes and wits must dart just as swiftly
Thy will must be sacred, defiant from the start
Turning thy colors to one, regardless what rift be
Standing between thee and thy heavenly...
When someone wishes you to divulge
The full measure of what you believe
Ask, what gives them such priveledge
And what they seek then to achieve
Prying greedily through another's depths
Agressively disecting their fellow's soul
Discontent in counting their own breathes
Would they gladly...
One day we shall gain new sight
And all the multi-threaded linkages of belief
Will surface, rising to the Light
Altering us in but a moment, offering relief.
ONE DAY
For now, dismissing prior commentary critiques (and thus the need for correction) for a more dominant purpose: expression... a few more poems.
(an oldy, from more pimply days)
Today amidst the crowds and crews
I heard a different sort of news
They say a man not half my age
Rode in to...
Dorkelf... perfect criticism...
Exactly what I am looking for... :cool:
I can make the changes - however, I need to learn to "see" the notes better.
For the most part, I simply wing it. (I will post more soon - for critique, etc)
How about something else...hmm...
In the joyous and the sloemn hugs,
The welcome mats, the hallways rugs,
The smells of bread and of bar-b-que,
The cakes with candles, the chili-stew,
The kisses on cheeks, the tender smiles,
The dirty dishes and the laundry piles,
We are blessed by...
To start... something simple, and short...
Though gentle falls the leaf,
Still there's always grief,
In the parting, in the passing,
Till we meet in Everlasting.
SOON, SOON...
Hope you like it, gents and ladies,