Wisdom, eh? I think I might have a few nuggets to share with you...
The first bit is, of course, to avoid evil women. This advice is not exclusive to young men. Young women should not fall into the common trap Satan lays for God-seeking ladies: moving with their attraction to "bad boys" and keeping "good boys" at arm's length. I saw this happen many times throughout my years in youth group--often to young women I cared about. So, first lesson: properly discern, from Scripture and wise teaching from elders, who and who you should not grow close to. This not only relates to romantic matters but friendship as well.
My second piece of advice would be to maintain your focus. Often it happens that young people place work or school above their "alone time" with God. This is a nasty habit that often follows young people into their adult lives and thereafter. It is imperative that you maintain a spiritual, not a natural, perspective. This applies to so many areas of life that it is difficult to encapsulate it in a mere paragraph or two.
When you see "misfits" at school, do not insult or belittle them. They are lost, just as we all were. Many young people in my youth group came from families that had been involved in church for generations; several were sons and daughters of church staff. Do not look at people as stereotypes (punk, raver, goth, preppy, etc.) but instead remember that Jesus loved all people and did not die for certain portions of humanity--he died for all people.
Make your faith your own. By this, I mean that you should not merely "adopt" your parent's or friends' belief system. If things are well, then continue in the faith and do not grow comfortable. Challenge yourself to grow in Christ daily--even if, and especially if, your life is going well. A boxer does not begin training in the ring; he exercises what he learned during training in that ring. We are training each day to fight against Satan and the sin nature inside ourselves--but God has granted us power over both.
Remember that you do not fight this battle alone. Do not be so vain to believe that you can overcome even the slightest problem alone. Do not be so prideful that you refuse God's help--whether it be studying for a test, working up the nerve to preach the Gospel, or resisting sexual temptation.
Do not believe for a moment that doing everything perfectly will remove all suffering from your life. There is no such thing as a life free of suffering. Instead of seeking freedom from suffering, instead seek freedom from meaningless suffering. Paul was not being poetic when he said that we suffer with Christ; we suffer when we deny our bodies the sinful pleasures that others partake in. We suffer when we put distance between ourselves and friends that would tear us down--especially when those friends mean well but lack the maturity to help us grow in our Christian lives (I do not mean to restrict this to unbelievers; Christians can also hinder one's relationship with Christ). When you are suffering, do not seek endlessly for a reason and try to track down when and where you sinned. If you have sinned and have been convicted, confess at once and God will be faithful to forgive you. If you are suffering for a reason unrelated to sin, remember that this is a fallen world and that even Jesus suffered terribly. He was stripped naked, whipped, and hung on a cross! Remember that we do not suffer needlessly unless we choose to--but remember that we all do suffer.
Know when and where to use diplomacy. Shift your focus from "me me me" to "As long as I have breath in this body, God has some task for me to accomplish for Him." If He did not, then He merely would have struck you dead and taken you to heaven the moment you received salvation. Back to the matter of diplomacy: take care to perceive other's emotions and moods. If you had just attended a loved one's funeral, would you want to turn right around and run to an arcade or concert? If you just found out someone had betrayed you, do you really want to hear a chipper, "Everything will be okay!" or "You'll find someone better!" Rejoice with your friends, but mourn with them also. Do not rush into things believing that there is a set action for every person and circumstance. Adapt to the situation, always praying that the Lord will give you the right words to say.
Do not believe for an instant that your time of temptation is over when you begin dating a young man or woman who shares your beliefs and convictions. It is often taught that sex is bad, bad, bad. This is only partially true. Just as chugging bleach would destroy the body, so does having sex outside the boundaries God created for it. (Of course, premarital sex will ravage the mind and soul long before it destroys the body.) If you have a stain on a white shirt, you use bleach. If you are married, you are actually responsible to have sex with your mate. Marriage is the condition for which sex was invented--no other. Would you hand a two-year old a pistol and say, "Have at it"? Of course not! Would you expect a policeman to make his rounds without a firearm by his side? Of course not. Understand that there is a time and place for sex, and that time and place is inside marriage.
Again, I say that no one should believe that their struggle with temptation is over the moment they commit to a godly young person of the opposite sex. If anything, true temptation has just begun. One can recognize primal lust in one's self and fervently discipline themselves to resist such urges. (Get a hold of this next part; no one taught me this when I was in church.) The most difficult part of resisting sex is not physical; it is emotional. When you love someone in a committed romantic relationship, you want to do everything you can to please them. When you are dedicated to their happiness, your first thought is to make them happy. It seems natural--and is--to make use of physical contact to bring them pleasure. The greatest struggle in resisting premarital sex lies in good intentions: the intentions to please your significant other. So how do we combat this? Is there any hope when the forces are so strong? Of course there is. But first understand that you are not strong enough in yourself to resist--and neither is your significant other.
Any strength any of us have to resist sin does not begin with us but is rather deposited in us. In other words, our strength comes from God. Set boundaries within your dating relationship dictating what is and is not permissible. Use both the Word of God and your personal convictions to establish these boundaries. I mention personal convictions because people often disagree on certain areas (kissing, French kissing, etc.) for which there is no clear-cut answer.
It is not a sin to be physically attracted to a person of the opposite sex. Physical attraction is a healthy, normal thing and crucial for a healthy dating relationship; however, it is a sin to let anything, including physical attraction, to overshadow our love for God and His Word.
My my, I've written quite a novel today. *chuckle* I believe I'll conclude there and hope that older members of our community can expound on what I've shared today. If I think of any other imperative wisdom, I will return and post more in the future.
