Sorry man. I can see the End of the World happening and Hagen might say that "becoming a Christian today will be the greee-eatest thing to ever happen to you! I mean life will be one hellfire joyride from San Diego to San Dimas! PRAISE DA LORD! Alley! Loo! YA! I mean, God will pour money into your lap, bend mountains to your will, and wait on you hand and foot, because what else is God for? Nothing!" (NOT actual quote...but please, read the following)
Ooo here are some killer quotes of these God-fearing men.
Kenneth Copeland: "As a believer, you have a right to make commands in the name of Jesus. Each time you stand on the Word, you are commanding God to a certain extent because it is His Word."
Frederick K.C. Price: "When 1 first got saved they didn't tell me 1 could do anything. What they told me to do was that whenever I prayed I should always say, 'The will of the Lord be done.' Now, doesn't that sound humble? It does. Sounds like humility, it's really stupidity. 1 mean, you know, really, we insult God. 1 mean, we really do insult our Heavenly Father. We do; we really insult Him without even realizing it. If you have to say, 'If it be thy will' or 'Thy will be done'--if you have to say that, then you're calling God a fool because He's the One that told us to ask. . . . If God's gonna give me what He wants me to have, then it doesn't matter what 1 ask. I'm only gonna get what God wants me to have. So that's an insult to God's intelligence."
Charles Capps: "When Jesus was in the pit of hell. in that terrible torment, no doubt the Devil and his emissaries gathered around to see the annihilation of God's Son. But in the corridors of hell, there came a great voice from heaven: 'Turn Him Loose! He's there illegally!' And all of hell became paralyzed."
I LOVE THAT! These Word of Faithers make spirituality a legal issue! God died, and it was illegal! So ha-ha Satan, you lose the court case! L-FREAKING-OL!
Kenneth Copeland (through whom Jesus allegedly delivered the following prophecy): "They crucified Me [Jesus] for claiming that I was God. But I didn't claim I was God; I just claimed I walked with Him [the Father] and that He was in Me."
. John Avanzini: "Jesus had a nice house, a big house--big enough to have company stay the night with Him at the house. Let me show you His house. Go over to John the first chapter and I'II show you His house. . . . Now, child of God, that's a house big enough to have company stay the night in. There's His house."
What makes THAT one so hilarious is actually reading John 1 apart from our Italian counterpart (John 1:35-39). It's funny but sad how twisted the Bible gets by people like him.
Kenneth Copeland: "I was shocked when I found out who the biggest failure in the Bible actually is....The biggest one is God....I mean, He lost His top-ranking, most anointed angel; the first man He ever created; the first woman He ever created; the whole earth and all the Fullness therein; a third of the angels, at least--that's a big loss, man. . . . Now, the reason you don't think of God as a failure is He never said He's a failure. And you're not a failure till you say you're one."
I love that one, too. Oh yah! It's not US who's the failure: it's the Almighty! Screw God! It's all God's fault! What a failure! I mean, total loser!
Kenneth E. Hagin: "Originally, God made the earth and the fullness thereof, giving Adam dominion over all the works of His hands. In other words, Adam was the god of this world."
Profundity thy name.
Kenneth E. Hagin: "Adam committed high treason and sold out to Satan, and Satan, through Adam, became the god of this world. Adam didn't have the moral right to commit treason, but he had the legal right to do so."
Back to legality again. HA! It was illegal for Adam to do it one way...but legal in another way. How freaking hee-larious.
Okay Mrpop have fun with shattered illusions.
