My Testimony
This will be long, I apologize in advance!
As a child, my parents made me go to church. They would take me there and drop me off, then come and pick me up when sunday school was over. It was a small church, On Christmas services we would have 65 people in attendance, on a regular sunday however, more like 25-30, and only 2 or 3 were kids my age. I was baptized there and became a member there, but I didn't really understand how it all worked. I knew there was a God, but I didn't really have a relationship with Him. I just went on living my life for myself.
This continued, and I grew more and more distant from the Lord's will all through high school and most of college. I stopped going to church. I said that I didn't need a church to have a relationship with God, even though I didn't have a relationship with Him. I was of the opinion that it was all a great hypcrosy and that the Bible was fallible because it was written by men. I struggled with evolution. I struggled with Christ being the only way. How could so many other people just be wrong? It didn't seem very fair. I tried to live in shades of grey, mixing Christian principles with wordly views to appease everyone. However, I still called myself a Christian if someone asked, but I really wasn't. But the Lord was after me.
During this time I went to church a handful of times, to a different one each time for some random reason, like to support a friend who was playing an instrument there or something. But everytime I went, I felt like the message was directed only to me. Everytime the sermon was addressing one of the questions in the back of my mind, like the authenticity of the Bible for example. It got my attention, but not enough to change my way of life or thinking. I was playing in a rock band with childhood friends. We had made an album or two, and we were playing all over the East Coast every weekend. It was great in a way at the time, girls, alcohol, seeing the country and all.
Then I started a new job as a co-op the summer before my senior year of college. A co-worker, and now very good friend, asked me this question: "If you died right now, are you sure you would go to heaven?" Well, I wasn't sure. I became very scared. I lived in the fear of hell. I had to find a way to make sure I was going to heaven! I spent days wondering if I had done enough to ensure my salvation. If there was something else that I needed to do.
Then one night, when I was sleeping, I had the most vivid dream I have ever had. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I will paraphrase it here. I was running across my parents yard where I grew up to go to my best friends house. It was sunny, but it was raining very hard. My father was working in the garden and my mother was working in the kitchen, looking out the window. They could both see me. Then I tripped and fell flat on my face. I was face down in the grass, and I couldn't get up. It was raining so hard that the water began to pool up and I began to drown. I literally remember having the sensation of suffocation in real life. I was asleep, suffocating, and I couldn't get up. Panic began to set in. I could see my mother and father in my peripheral vision, but they were not coming to save me. Then I heard a gentle voice from above and it said to me "All you have to do is say it David, all you have to do is say it." And at that point I cried out "I give my life to Jesus Christ! I give my life to Jesus Christ!" And I instantly awoke from my sleep and took a deep breath, because I was face down in my own pillow, suffocating!
After that my fear went away and turned to this love and gratitude at the realization that there was nothing that I could do to get to heaven, that it had already been done for me, on the cross. It was such an amazing feeling, a burden being lifted. From that point on a change began in me. My priorities shifted. So much so that some of my friends became openly "worried" about me and tried to have an intervention of sorts. My wife, then fiance, and I found a church home in which we are active. I needed to take communion. I had to quit the band. I just had to. I did not like who I was when I was with them anymore. I only did things that I would never do anywhere else in that environment. It was so hard, but so easy, all at the same time, to walk away from it. So much has changed in me, I can't write it all here, this is long enough already. It is amazing how once you put your trust in Him how He removes your doubt and/or gives you the grace to accept things that you can't understand. I am still far from where I should be, but I liken my walk with the Lord to the stock market, it has its ups and downs, but over time, on average it is always going up! The Lord works in great and mysterious ways and He is so very good!