Tek's Writing Challenge: Tek7, 2nd attempt

Tek7

Tek7

CGA President, Tribe of Judah Founder & President
Staff member
I should have had the good sense to start a seven-day writing contest on a Monday, but, alas, I wrote my first entry on a Thursday and then let two days pass without writing another line (of fiction, anyway; I made several posts on the forums and also sent a few PMs).

I plan to start my second attempt tomorrow (Sunday, April 22). Watch this thread for new stuff.
 
Day 1: English Language Protection Task Force, Part 1

SCENE: Corporate board room. Manager type giving presentation using some boring Powerpoint style. Generic corporate America at its most mundane.

MANAGER: If we're going to shift our target market's paradigms, we need to reach for low-hanging fruit ASAP. We need to synergize our core competencies and gimble in the wabe.

Shot shifts to two generic caucasian, dark-haired male employees in pressed shirts and ties. Employee A wears a blue tie. Employee B wears a red tie. They both looked stunned and perturbed.

EMPLOYEE A: (whispers) Did he just say "shift paradigms"?

EMPLOYEE B: (whispers) Did he just say "gimble in the wabe"?

EMPLOYEE A: Who says "shift paradigms" any more?

EMPLOYEE B: And why is he quoting from Jabberwocky?

EMPLOYEE A: I counted at least five, maybe six violations of the E.L.P.T.F. treaty in that last slide.

EMPLOYEE B: This is terrible. (stunned) We...we can't just ignore such atrocities.

EMPLOYEE A: I suppose we have no choice then. This is a case for...them.

EMPLOYEE B: (nods gravely) Be quick about it. And be discrete. We don't want him to run.

EMPLOYEE A pulls out a smartphone, types up a quick e-mail, takes a deep breath, then clicks Send.

A: There. It's done.

B: (gravely) Now all we can do is wait...and pray that God has mercy on his soul.


SCENE: Receptionist desk. Receptionist, caucasian women in her late 40s sports fake blonde hair, black eyebrows, black roots, and a haircut more appropriate for a 16-year old.

RECEPTIONIST: Oh my GAWD! Did you see last night's Gray's Anatomy? Wasn't it just so great? (smacks gum, waits for reply) Oh, I know, he's the bee's knees--err, I mean, a total hottie.

Two men in law enforcement uniforms, Law Enforcement Officer A and Law Enforcement Officer B, arrive. Both men wears dark sunglasses and a badge with the letters ELSTF on their jackets. "Secret service"-style earpieces are hooked over their right ears.

RECEPTIONIST: Oh, Heather, you know I'll come to the tea party--err, I mean, the club. I wouldn't miss it for--

Law Enforcement Officer A coughs loudly.

RECEPTIONIST: Oh, gawd, Heather, I gotta go. I think the feds found out our accountant cooked the books again. (hangs up) How can I help you, gentlemen?

LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER A: Ma'am, I'm Agent Jones. This (points to Law Enforcement Officer B) is Agent Smith. We're with the English Language Protection Task Force.

SMITH: We received a tip about a number of severe violations against the English language just moments ago. (flashes ELSTF badge) We believe the perp is still in the building. We're going to need to question the employees at this site.

TO BE CONTINUED...
 
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A quick note on Part 1 of English Language Protection Task Force:

I had an idea for a quick (maybe 5-10 minute) comedy sketch that ends in a generic manager, straight out of corporate America, getting either (a) tazered or (b) beaten senseless with a police baton for his incessant abuse of the English language. I can almost visualize this pointy-haired boss screaming out three-letter acronyms as two law enforcement officers wrestle him to the ground and tazer or beat him into unconsciousness.

The piece is a way for me to vent about how corporate America has violated the English language in so many ways. I'm running the risk of the humor turning mean, but I think the skit will prove to be a lot of fun for those who read it (assuming I finish it, that is). From "verbing" nouns to "weasel words" to purposefully vague phrases to stupid business jargon, this skit promises to deliver a bit of vengeance for those of us who speak real English, not business-speak.

EDIT: And once again, I went way over 100 words. I need to learn to keep it short.

EDIT: Part 1 also pokes fun of women in their 40s who try desperately to look and act like they're 20-something again and only end up embarrassing themselves.
 
DISCLAIMER: I am not feeling the writing vibe tonight. I apologize in advance for whatever I post tonight.
 
Moderator's note: Post text deleted at OP's request.
 
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Yow. 716 words. I suck at keeping things short, apparently.
 
Lazarus said:
I wonder why he got so angry at the end.. :confused:
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It was not without purpose. At the risk of sounding too artsy fartsy, I was aiming for subtlety. Still, I admit the piece was indulgent. I wrote it for myself, not for others, and it's likely confusing in parts.
 
Ah, heck, given that this is mindless speculation and has no bearing in thought I'm gonna say that they're married and she has cancer.

Hense the wig, the sadness, and the anger.
 
Neirai the Forgiven said:
Ah, heck, given that this is mindless speculation and has no bearing in thought I'm gonna say that they're married and she has cancer.
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She has terminal cancer, yes, but she and he are not necessarily married. I say "necessarily" because I purposely wrote the piece so it could be read multiple ways: the male as father, the female as daughter; the male as husband, the female as wife; the male as young (teenage or 20-something) friend, the female as young friend and fellow social outcast.

Neirai the Forgiven said:
Hense the wig, the sadness, and the anger.
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The anger is not just about the cancer. The inability to ward off premature (premature being a relative term) death, even with all our technological advances, is part of his anger, but not all of it. The male character's rage against the silent characters is meant to symbolize all rage against a silent society that doesn't know and doesn't care about the individual as a person. It's a statement against the whole human race for not bothering--or wanting--to look beyond a silly or abnormal exterior to see the affection, fear, frustration, and sorrow people are feeling.

By the bye, great insight, Neirai. I was concerned the story was too subtle, to the point of bewildering. I do that sometimes in my stories and it's encouraging to read that someone saw the underlying point.

On the subject of tonight's 100 words: I wrote mine for an article I e-mailed half an hour ago to a local newspaper. I covered a local city council meeting as a freelance reporter and sent in my article earlier. I won't bore you with the details, but I can cut out, scan, and send a copy of the article to Dorkelf for proof (assuming the article gets published in tomorrow's paper).

EDIT: I think I added another 100 words to my count with this post. Does writing about writing count?

EDIT: Dorkelf, would you mind un-sticking my first attempt at the challenge and sticking this thread, please? :D
 
Tek7 said:
The anger is not just about the cancer.
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Of course; yet it was brought into question by Laz, so I pointed it out. It isn't really anger as much as frusteration. As someone who has had cancer in the family in the past, sometimes you just want to vent your inability to do anything concrete or solid all over everyone around you.
 
Short Story Series Idea: Parallels

Basic concept: Each story would alternate between scenes in parallel universes where a seemingly minor, but life-changing, difference guides the course of the same character in each universe.

Purpose: Explore the effects and consequences of decisions which we take for granted. Explore the concept of man controlling his destiny and reveal how control is only an illusion.

First story: In universe A, a man meets, falls in love with, and marries a woman of great character. In universe B, the man and woman never meet and the man is left to face life with only friends and relatives. The story explores both the benefits and sacrifices involved in committed relationships. Universe A highlights the benefits of emotional intimacy with a spouse, the many sacrifices one makes for a healthy marriage, and the restrictions (e.g. unable to leave town on a whim) marriage involves. Tentatively, both characters rise above the struggles associated with their chosen paths through the strength God provides. The story is intended to present a balanced view of the choices Paul presents in Scripture (marriage or celibacy).
 
An idea I thought I'd throw out there: Perhaps we could have a group writing project, some months down the road, where we each write an abbreviated entry in the Parallels series?
 
That might be a good idea, but I probably wouldn't participate, just because I cannot write a story for the expressed purpose of making a point.
 
Tek7 said:
An idea I thought I'd throw out there: Perhaps we could have a group writing project, some months down the road, where we each write an abbreviated entry in the Parallels series?
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That could also serve as a preliminary group writing assignment, to get us geared up towards something later this year that might be larger-scale and less free-form. Then if that goes well we would look towards a larger scale and more serious collaborative writing endeavor with significant prizes involved for winning entries. For that we'll probably have to abide by strict subject and style guidelines - maybe even a large-scale style guidelines document.

Paul
 
a_sigint_ninja said:
That might be a good idea, but I probably wouldn't participate, just because I cannot write a story for the expressed purpose of making a point.
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...why do you write then?

No, don't worry, I'm not trying to put you down :) But why do you write? Don't you write so that you can get people to hear the thoughts that you have in your head, or to help others to feel the emotions that you feel or to, say-y-y, allow them to experience something like Morrowind in a similar way to the way that you do in your own mind?

The fact is that if you write, you write to make a point. Perhaps not a direct polemic moral point, but to make a point. For example, in my "Weavers" story, I'm trying to make the point that in real life, good and evil are hardly ever polemic, but such things as absolute good and absolute evil still exist. My "perfect summer job" story exists to get people to think about the idea that for everybody, even say, Bill Gates or Michael Jordan or (in this instance) James Bond, their jobs are still jobs. You know, boring annoying periods of time where someone else makes you do things for them in exchange for money.

Just something to think about :) Perhaps you're not aware that you're writing towards a point.

For my two cents, Tek, it would be hard for me to write into Parallels because I'm not married.
 
According to Eastern time, I still have approximately 30 minutes to write and post an entry for today. I live in Central time zone, but that's irrelevant.

/me grins nervously

Okay, let's see what I can whip up tonight...

EDIT: The scene that follows was typed directly into the text box and posted without editing. I know the scene is not very good, but it's 4 minutes to 1 a.m. and I need sleep.
 
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Moderator's note: Post text deleted at OP's request.
 
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