King of the Hill, CGA Style

Lazarus walks up behind C$ with Tek7. The sheer amazingness of the admin causes C$ to fall off the hill, and Lazarus retakes his throne - pushing Tek7 off to land on C$ below with a loud crash.
 
"amazingness"? Ummm... 'kay
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Little did Laz know, Cattank was still lurking in the mists of time... watching... waiting... and then... IT STRUCK

Without mentioning the explosions and little girlie screams emitted by Laz and the smell of kitty litter.... I was king again.
 
Aw, why not mention 'em? I sure will. :D

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A loud explosion boomed as C$ flew into the air. Lazarus dropped the detonator and pulled the lid off of the bee cage.

C$ emitted several girlie screams as he ran from the angry swarm.
He tripped over a box of kitty litter and spilled it - and also fell into it.
C$ lunged to his feet, coughing over the terrible smell of kitty litter, and came face to face with the tiger it belonged to.

It growled - and ate him.

Lazarus sat down on his throne and slept.

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See? :D
 
But Laz was awakened when Cattank nuked him and the tiger.

I fell out of the animal formerly known as Tiger and tossed the unconscious Laz out of the way and did the Crazy Chicken Dance to claim my title
 
Staring in horror at the dancing C$, Lazarus turned the polka music up.

Higher and higher and higher...

The sound grew so loud that C$'s eardrums burst and he fell to the ground, screaming in pain.

Lazarus walked up and beat Cattank to death with C$, then beat the tiger apart with C$, then beat C$ up and knocked his teeth out.

"YOU BUM!" he screamed, heaving C$ over his shoulder. C$ tumbled down the hill and landed in a heap at the bottom with a loud crunch.

Lazarus hid... waiting... for any challengers.. they'd never find him till it was too late... BWAHAHAHAHA!
 
Well he just got beat to death, dude.(waits for C$ to use "dude" in his own post...)

You gonna make your turn now?
 
Lazarus said:
Well he just got beat to death, dude.(waits for C$ to use "dude" in his own post...)

You gonna make your turn now?
Click to expand...


"dude", it's indestructible and lethal damage and stuff takes no affect.

With that in mind...
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I rose from the ashes of me getting pwned by Lazaroo (the deranged Laz/kangaroo hybrid), and decided that Cattank was getting a little outdated. I then replaced it with Hawkjet, which has the same indestructibility but flies. It nuked him non-lethally and I reclaimed my title.
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*waits for "nuh-UH!! o well i just anti air ur jet LOL"* :p
 
"nuked him non-lethally" -... that's kind of impossible, you know. ;)

nuh-UH!! o well i just anti air ur jet LOL.

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I hopped into the pages of The Ezekiel Option(by Joel C. Rosenberg), and watched as fireballs fell from heaven and roasted C$.

I then reclaimed my throne.
"Phew... somebody get that burnt bowl of chicken soup outta here."
 
I hereby declare this contest over at post 71, as 7 is the number of completion and 10 is the number of perfection. And 1, because I was one post late. And, you get to take the hill from me permanently, for this topic. I also declare that if your post is lame, it doesn't count.

"WONDER TEAM POWERS, UNITE!"

Assembling together like Voltron, the Pastoris form a hideous, grotesque, bipedal construct, the legs guarded by the spirits of Spiritbinder and the sword of Mastersson, the arms by the lightning power of Thunderclap and scythe of Whirling, and the upper torso and head of Virtuous. The construct, along with Jaypi's flames, Gemhammer's axe, and the three year old's pwnage, scared Laz off the hill without a fight and allowed WBK to build a walled fortress complete with a trebuchet around the still smoldering crater.

King of the castle... and the hill. Next post wins.
 
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Lazarus made his way to the top of the hill and stood across from the assembled Pastori and their leader.

"Your powers are many and varied, and doubtless able to defeat me." he called.
"I don't even know what all they are, for that matter. But no one - NO ONE can equal my skill at playing the tuba!"

He pulled forth his tuba and let loose a massive toot. The sound travelled into a windphone set up on the hill earlier and accellerated it to hurricane force. The terrible and powerful blast of sound blew the assembled Pastori right off the hill.

Before WildBillKickoff(who had dived into the bomb shelter to avoid the blast of wind) could get up, Lazarus took two steps forward and tripped over a gopher hole, breaking his foot. As he howled in pain, WBK ran over to him and bandaged the leg, putting on a splint as well.

Lazarus regained consciouness several minutes later and repaid his benefactor by punching him in the nose, then stumbled to his feet and made for the throne.

Wild Bill Kickoff grabbed his lasso and tossed a loop around Lazarus, halting him. Whirling about, Lazarus grabbed the rope and began whirling it around his head with tremendous speed.

"AAAAAAH!" WBK yelled as he spun through the air at the end of the lasso.

Suddenly Lazarus bit through the rope with his teeth and Wild Bill Kickoff flew off into space.

Lazarus sat down on his throne - and it collapsed. He shrugged and stuck a lollipop into his mouth.
"I'm - King of the Hill again?! Alas for such a kingdom with 71 successive coups in the first two weeks of it's creation!" he moaned, sitting down amid the ashes of the throne.
 
I slammed into Pastori (WBK) and threw him to the ground and used a sausage to knock him unconscious.

"I WIN!!!" I roared victoriously, claiming my throne forever.
 
But wait - if WBK finds my post to be lame, you will win!

...although, if he finds mine to be lame it'd be nearly impossible not to conclude that yours is even lamer. :)
 
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