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Atown

Atown

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i know this should be in prayer topic but i figured its fine here. some stuff happened and i failed and fell into sexual imorality (need i saw more?) and im prolly going to be moving soon possibly among other things. i want to start fresh but will prolly visit here often but i feel that i cant really post here anymore given the circumstances i have no right to post.... im sorry... sorry for everything.... please continue to pray for me, starfire, my family and everything i screwed up.
 
just because you sinned does not mean you are not welcome here. Please come back and feel free to post. Repent before Jesus and we'll welcome you with open arms!!
 
If anyone has any questions, ask. This is basically what I wrote to shyfr0ggy and since I'm too lazy to explain it all, I thought I would do it here. I'm so exhausted.

Basically, since dad yelled at my mom for not telling Belinda and Will (Adam's parents) the truth that we had sex, she had to call them up again and tell her. When she did, Will, Adam and I were at the mall for a short period. I called mom to let her know where I was and that I would be home relatively soon. She told me she was on the phone w/Belinda. It wasn't until I called again later, on my way home, that I found out she had told Belinda that we had sex and whatnot.
Belinda took it well at first, and then her spirit completely changed. She may not even let Adam enroll this quarter at OC and move him and herself to Pullman to start taking class at the college there, WSU, where we both want to go when we (hopefully) graduate from OC. That way though, we would have six months to think about things. It will really test our love that way, but I'm thinking that's one way to go. As much as I want to scream and rant about it, I realize that it's one possibility. We don't even know if he'll get into WSU though.
Anywayz, she told my mom that first, she wanted Adam and I to have counseling to see where we are and what needs to happen next...if being separated is a good idea or whatnot. Um, how we're doing God-wise.
Through this whole ordeal we have thought of God and tried to do things right, but failed. He tried warning us in so many wayz, no matter how subtle, and we should have listened. We should have obeyed...but we didn't.
We did agree to accept whatever committments, responsibilities, etc. that would result from waht we did.
But I have been talking to mom and she says that she sees the repentence and wisdom that I have, not to mention the strength that I've begun building. Since I could talk to her much more easily than my dad, who doesn't care to listen really, I was able to build off of her caring and listening mood and feel relaxed and free to express things that we have been stressing over. Unfortunately dad can not see this, so he thinks that I'm just a rebel that I'm a failure and whatever else.
I feel much better now that mom has listened and shown understanding to my situation, to Adam and mine.
We really aren't those kind of people, we're just humans who make mistakes like everybody esle. And in truth, I always thought that he was like an angel, a saint. I didn't see his fautls right away. I figured that if he said "yes" to something, then it was right, or vice versa. I knew I had sin, and that I'm not perfect, but I couldn't see it completely....right away in him since he hides behind a mask. I'm beginning to see a little more, which means I'm getting closer to him and he's finally able to release some things.
Anywayz, like dad says, when you do things wrong they'll always appear out in the open soemtime - one way or another. I'm not sure if that's completetely true, but I think it definately is by 95%. It's relaly up to God to decide whether it should be out there like that. So when I felt convicted to tell mom right before communion, that was God's way of beginning a chain of events that have led down to today.
I've cried, I've suffered, I've worried...but you know, it's worth it because I know that I'm going to learn so much from this experience.
It's like I already knew this experience was going to come. I just felt it. I knew it was going to be a difficult challenge, and that's an understatement to me, right now.
I knew when I built that wall up, that it would hurt me in the end. I knew it would. But I didn't want to listen to reason because I NEVER thought I would EVER have sex like that. I never thought I would be talking to my parents about this kind of thing. It's shcoking.
I was supposed t be this perfect girl...their perfect daughter. And now my pride's crushed. It needed to be, one way or another. If I wasn't going to do it by hearing it and connecting it with my head and heart, then I wuold learn it the hard way and get it forced down into my heart.

*Starr*
 
i really dont have anyone in RL to keep me accountable. josiah tried but i turned away.... and right now my mom is acting like her dad and it really hurts to see ur mother not even want to pray in the same room as u...
 
Let me recommend finding a good church and start developing some Godly relationships with members of the same sex. Growing up is challenging enough on its own, without Godly role models. I don't know the whole story, but perhaps approaching your parents with a request along the lines of.....Can you help me to establish a team of mentors/role models/etc to help me develop as God would want me to.......not sure, but knowing what I know now, that is something that I really wish I had had.

Will be praying for both of you
Gen
 
Genesis1315 said:
Let me recommend finding a good church and start developing some Godly relationships with members of the same sex. Growing up is challenging enough on its own, without Godly role models.
Will be praying for both of you
Gen
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Great advice. I've found homage w/the women's prayer group and my church and w/morning bible studies at church every sunday (during those people don't know about these priave things) I'ev learned alot of things. But Adam has had a hard time finding the right church and whatnot. Well, him and his family anywayz.
 
Atown, Starfire: You are welcome here.

I'd like to share a few verses:

1 John 1:8-10 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.

Romans 8:1-4 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

2 Corinthians 7:10 For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.


A few words of advice:

Don't assume that your sin is too large for the Lord to forgive. Making that assumption may appear as humility, but it actually underestimates the amazing grace that God offered you at the cross. Your sin is not bigger than God's grace.

Spend more time reading the Word than listening to those who offer only condemnation. Seek out strong Christians who can reinforce the truths of sorrow, repentance, and forgiveness. Seek out accountability partners. Reaffirm those truths by reading and studying the Word daily. Memorize verses relevant to repentance and forgiveness.

If you listen to enough voices saying or implying that God has turned His back on you because of your sin, you may start to believe it. If you should accept that lie, the only place you may feel accepted is in each other's arms. That path leads to a cycle of sin that will put distance between you and God, and between you and others.

Don't confuse guilt and repentance. Don't confuse regret and sorrow. Don't confuse condemnation and conviction.

Don't selfishly shut yourself away. It is easier to "turn off" and "tune out" than it is to wrestle with sorrow and repentance. It is easier to let one's self go numb rather than work through the pain. I will not lie and say that true repentance is easy; it is horribly difficult, but it is worth it.

And don't let this make you crazy. The good Lord knows how difficult it is for young people in good health not to develop a complex in today's Western church. The influence of the Puritans was stronger than many recognize and the teaching that "sex is dirty, save it for marriage" still prevails, consciously or not, in many churches today. Youth pastors vehemently teach against lust, but they don't (necessarily) teach about misdirected good intentions.

What many youth pastors won't tell you is that the temptation to have sex with someone you love is not as simple as lust. The body understands, even if the mind does not recognize, that it is capable of giving pleasure to another person. Lust is easier to resist than the desire to give pleasure to a person you love. Lust is obviously sinful, but the desire to give pleasure seems noble. The catch is that we are commanded to wait to give that pleasure to another person. The sin, for many young Christians in love, is not so much lust (although that is undeniably a part of it) as a failure to wait.

A church's failure to be frank and honest with young people does not excuse pre-marital sex, but perhaps it will help you resist substituting condemnation for repentance.

And don't stop loving each other. It's clear that there's a great deal of warmth in this relationship. Don't let this sin tear you apart. There may need to be an appropriate distance for a time, but don't give up on one another. The future is uncertain, but no matter what happens, you two should love and respect one another, at least in the manner of love that God asks for all Christians to have toward fellow believers.

There's a host of people who care about you on these forums. We can't be enough, as words without face-to-face interaction can only do so much, but maybe we can help. Don't walk away, thereby taking away an opportunity for us to minister to you.
 
i still feel so unworthy posting here given my history, i love u guys and this place so much though.... just so much stuff i have trouble sorting it all through
 
dood, where do you think you are going? You know your always welcome here.

If ya need to talk, I'm here.
 
i got ya on MSN man, if ya need me, you know wehre to find me. btw, did you try those 2 books i recommended?
also, dont forget this: "There is no temptation which has seized you except that which is common to man." There is no need to exile yourself, everyone struggles in this area in some form or another.
Edit:
Hey man..i can't pretend to know exactly what's going on with you, but i know we've talked about it a bit, and seeing as hwo we're practically the same age, i can understand the pressure. School is hard enough with just the academics and peer pressure and all that. If you add in a relatioship with a member of the opposite sex, then it grows even harder, especially with the world around you telling you that you can just do whatever you want and it doesnt matter. Running away won't solve you problems. You know there's dozens, possibly hundreds of people here that will hear you out whenever you need it. As for myself...call me when you need me, i'll give you that information via MSN or something of a similar matter, just lmk whenever you see me on again. "When you stand your ground you don't stand alone"
I shall continue praying for you.
In Chirst
-Andrew
 
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just got back from the meeting with her parents, everything went well and here are the results: me n jess may not contact over internet for a while, im going to a different college campus for now, 30min away, skillsusa still debateable, shes getting pregnancy test today or tomorow to double check. thats it for now... thankyou everyone for being around, i'll still hang around but prolly wont be as active as i was before... i really wanted 5000 posts soon too...... laf. love u guys
 
Sorry this response may be lengthly and there are several things that I will not post publically. Anyone who has issues with this thread or any responses to it please contact me privately.

Atown and Star I want you to remember and know that GOD LOVES YOU both and so do I. I have watched you become a fine young man and seen you go through several struggles over the years. I have seen how Star has become a better person through your faith and how you have been able to share with her things that may never have gotten across to her through any other person plus her relationships with many of us would never had happened without you to bring her to us.

It is not in my nature to quote Bible passages to people......if references are needed I can give you any info you may want. Many times the references I think would be appropriate, God decides are not and shows a better one. With that being said, I DO NOT JUDGE nor do I believe it is for us mere humans to judge others. (You know over the years how I feel about this.) Judgement is God's place and no one elses including your parents or those people who say " I told you this would lead to this etc." Every human except for our Lord Jesus has sinned on this Earth since the day they were born even a mere thought is a sin against God.

In my own personal life I have made and still make mistakes every day. Many times during his sermon my pastor will say something about our sins and ask us when the last time was that we sinned???? He rarely shares his sins but he will admit in front of God and everyone he sins just like the rest of us. I am quite amazed by the courage and faith you both have on actually publically posting what has happened. I share things when asked but I still stay guarded because so many people judge who should not.

I have felt strongly about the relationship you all have had from the beginning and still feel that way. You both have honestly tried to keep God in your relationship and follow His will and His wisdom. Some people with the greatest faiths and closest relationships with Him also are the ones who are tempted the most by the devil. We all know how things went for Job. Even if you two take a break or not, I still believe that God has brought you two together for His greater purpose even if it is not at this exact time or place.

You both know I am here and you can contact me at any time. I would also like to say a big thank you to those of you who took the time to post without being cruel or judgemental. IMO this whole situation needs to be handled out of love and respect for each other...... we are all sinners. (Any negative posts will be deleted.)
Blessings,"Angel"
 
I just wanted to show my support. Everyone makes mistakes, just keep your eyes on Christ. I hope everything works out for you guys!
 
LITSAFALDA said:
Atown and Star I want you to remember and know that GOD LOVES YOU both and so do I. I have watched you become a fine young man and seen you go through several struggles over the years.

...I DO NOT JUDGE nor do I believe it is for us mere humans to judge others. (You know over the years how I feel about this.) Judgement is God's place and no one elses including your parents or those people who say " I told you this would lead to this etc." Every human except for our Lord Jesus has sinned on this Earth since the day they were born even a mere thought is a sin against God.

I have felt strongly about the relationship you all have had from the beginning and still feel that way. You both have honestly tried to keep God in your relationship and follow His will and His wisdom. Some people with the greatest faiths and closest relationships with Him also are the ones who are tempted the most by the devil. We all know how things went for Job. Even if you two take a break or not, I still believe that God has brought you two together for His greater purpose even if it is not at this exact time or place.

You both know I am here and you can contact me at any time. I would also like to say a big thank you to those of you who took the time to post without being cruel or judgemental. IMO this whole situation needs to be handled out of love and respect for each other...... we are all sinners. (Any negative posts will be deleted.)
Blessings,"Angel"
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God Bless you! It's that kind of support that makes God's love go around the way HE wants it - not the way we want it (that is, taking it into our own hands.) I have learned a buttload from this situation - as I knew I would. I always felt this trial coming, and I knew it would be soon... After all, when good things happen, be prepared for the downs that will eventually come - as they definately will. I pray for guidance, wisdom, and maturity so that I may be able to take care of myself without the aid that I seem to need all the time. God Bless! Also, please pray that his mom will stop rubbing him and his dad's heads in the dirt w/her foot. I pray for her peace, and for both of the parents' and for Atown and for their whole family. My family and I have come to understandings and we show love and everything, they aren't trying to control me, but like I said, Atown's mom is. If I really am what I think I am, he will be put under more pressure than I fear he can handle unless he starts remembering that faith and prayer in God will bring all things to good. I have trouble remembering that sometimes too. But yeah, I'm really worried about him right now - especially since we can't have any contact except through email (at least in my dad's opinion...so no im'ing...*sniff*.)
*Starr*
 
Atown said:
i still feel so unworthy posting here given my history, i love u guys and this place so much though.... just so much stuff i have trouble sorting it all through
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ARE YOU KIDDING?! Dangnabbit, we're not the only ones to make mistakes, hon. Sheesh. Now you're just gonna make ppz feel bad here. *ROFL!* :D It's okay, faith faith faith faith faith faith faith in God! Prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer! Oh and yeah, Satan is a liar and he used our weaknesses. It's okay though because we got God who said that he would never leave us nor forsake us. And just because we're the only ones posting our problems here on this particular thread, doesn't mean everyone in here has needs. We're just being completely open about it. Which is excellent! Now both sets of our parents know due to my telling my mom and that set things in motion that will lead to much better and greatful things! Not only am I praying now but I am also praising the pain we're going through because we can use that to bring us together in spirit - no matter the distance - and bond w/our parents, change things that need to be changed, and just overall - praise the new things that will happen! What greater excitement is there than to look to the future, to the horizon where the sun sets oh so beautifully, and see that a better day is yet to come?! I'm anxious for that day! Be anxious for that, be greatful for God, be kind to those around you who might be in pain even though you are because that's where our faith and our humility and our love is REALLY TESTED! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Sorry, I'm saying this to remind myself of this as well. And boy am I typing this fast. Ow...my poor wrists.
*Starr*
 
For various reasons, I as moderator with the approval of involved parties have decided to close this thread due to sensitivity issues and heartfelt concern. They would still encourage all of you to keep them in your prayers.
Any contact or other things due to this topic please contact me directly through PM. Blessings,"Angel"
 
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