If anyone has any questions, ask. This is basically what I wrote to shyfr0ggy and since I'm too lazy to explain it all, I thought I would do it here. I'm so exhausted.
Basically, since dad yelled at my mom for not telling Belinda and Will (Adam's parents) the truth that we had sex, she had to call them up again and tell her. When she did, Will, Adam and I were at the mall for a short period. I called mom to let her know where I was and that I would be home relatively soon. She told me she was on the phone w/Belinda. It wasn't until I called again later, on my way home, that I found out she had told Belinda that we had sex and whatnot.
Belinda took it well at first, and then her spirit completely changed. She may not even let Adam enroll this quarter at OC and move him and herself to Pullman to start taking class at the college there, WSU, where we both want to go when we (hopefully) graduate from OC. That way though, we would have six months to think about things. It will really test our love that way, but I'm thinking that's one way to go. As much as I want to scream and rant about it, I realize that it's one possibility. We don't even know if he'll get into WSU though.
Anywayz, she told my mom that first, she wanted Adam and I to have counseling to see where we are and what needs to happen next...if being separated is a good idea or whatnot. Um, how we're doing God-wise.
Through this whole ordeal we have thought of God and tried to do things right, but failed. He tried warning us in so many wayz, no matter how subtle, and we should have listened. We should have obeyed...but we didn't.
We did agree to accept whatever committments, responsibilities, etc. that would result from waht we did.
But I have been talking to mom and she says that she sees the repentence and wisdom that I have, not to mention the strength that I've begun building. Since I could talk to her much more easily than my dad, who doesn't care to listen really, I was able to build off of her caring and listening mood and feel relaxed and free to express things that we have been stressing over. Unfortunately dad can not see this, so he thinks that I'm just a rebel that I'm a failure and whatever else.
I feel much better now that mom has listened and shown understanding to my situation, to Adam and mine.
We really aren't those kind of people, we're just humans who make mistakes like everybody esle. And in truth, I always thought that he was like an angel, a saint. I didn't see his fautls right away. I figured that if he said "yes" to something, then it was right, or vice versa. I knew I had sin, and that I'm not perfect, but I couldn't see it completely....right away in him since he hides behind a mask. I'm beginning to see a little more, which means I'm getting closer to him and he's finally able to release some things.
Anywayz, like dad says, when you do things wrong they'll always appear out in the open soemtime - one way or another. I'm not sure if that's completetely true, but I think it definately is by 95%. It's relaly up to God to decide whether it should be out there like that. So when I felt convicted to tell mom right before communion, that was God's way of beginning a chain of events that have led down to today.
I've cried, I've suffered, I've worried...but you know, it's worth it because I know that I'm going to learn so much from this experience.
It's like I already knew this experience was going to come. I just felt it. I knew it was going to be a difficult challenge, and that's an understatement to me, right now.
I knew when I built that wall up, that it would hurt me in the end. I knew it would. But I didn't want to listen to reason because I NEVER thought I would EVER have sex like that. I never thought I would be talking to my parents about this kind of thing. It's shcoking.
I was supposed t be this perfect girl...their perfect daughter. And now my pride's crushed. It needed to be, one way or another. If I wasn't going to do it by hearing it and connecting it with my head and heart, then I wuold learn it the hard way and get it forced down into my heart.
*Starr*
It's okay, faith faith faith faith faith faith faith in God! Prayer prayer prayer prayer prayer! Oh and yeah, Satan is a liar and he used our weaknesses. It's okay though because we got God who said that he would never leave us nor forsake us. And just because we're the only ones posting our problems here on this particular thread, doesn't mean everyone in here has needs. We're just being completely open about it. Which is excellent! Now both sets of our parents know due to my telling my mom and that set things in motion that will lead to much better and greatful things! Not only am I praying now but I am also praising the pain we're going through because we can use that to bring us together in spirit - no matter the distance - and bond w/our parents, change things that need to be changed, and just overall - praise the new things that will happen! What greater excitement is there than to look to the future, to the horizon where the sun sets oh so beautifully, and see that a better day is yet to come?! I'm anxious for that day! Be anxious for that, be greatful for God, be kind to those around you who might be in pain even though you are because that's where our faith and our humility and our love is REALLY TESTED! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Sorry, I'm saying this to remind myself of this as well. And boy am I typing this fast. Ow...my poor wrists.