A friend and a bad website

Amicus Dei of [FoG]

Amicus Dei of [FoG]

New Member
One of my friends is really obsessed with this website... He gets a ton of funny pictures but most of them are racist and/or have bad language...
Also it turns out that this site has a lot of porn on it.
His girlfriend really does not like this (and nor do i), so we have conspired against his access to this website.
Fortunately, I know a lot about computers, and have a friend who knows about 4 times as much as i do about them... therefore it was easy to make up a plan that would allow us to "block" the site. I put block in quotations because blocking is easy to get around, and this is very difficult. In fact it redirects the URL and all related URLs for the site to 0.0.0.0, which is nothing. The only way to negate the effects of this is to erase some lines of text from a file and save it using the correct method, but that file can only be accessed if you know the exact directory and put it in run or unhide all the files and happen accross it (which would be an extraordinary happening).
The idea is to get his girlfriend to his computer while he is not around (distracted by his sister), and she will follow a set of 4 step instructions, which will take less than 1 minute (or even < 30 seconds), to make the computer redirect the site to nothing. Then when he attempts to get on the site, he will eventually conclude that the internet is down.
After that, she will somehow convince him to talk to me about it without hinting that she knows what happened. I will tell him simply that I can't get on the site either (in order to make this the truth I conveniently have it blocked on mine as well, and am unable to get on). Naturally he will assume the site is down, and will proceed to not try and access it for a while.

Eventually he may discover that it has been blocked, but he will be unable to fix it. His friends who also know about the site have been notified by me to tell him the site is down when he asks, also...
As well as this, the one person who knows how to fix it that he will ask will not tell him how to fix it.


The idea: get him off the site. Get his obsession for the site out of him. Only then will it not rule his life and his relationship with his girlfriend (it's all he ever talks about).

Does this sound like a good thing to do?
 
Maybe i would have first talked to him about the site before doing all this. But again it depends on the person.
 
He'll know the site isn't down if he gets the pictures in the email. But yea, if you had'nt tried talking to him first, you should have.
 
idk, it may seem good now but what if he finds that you blocked it? say he tries the site at school or some other place that you cannot block yourself? he may get angry, i would say talk to him. like when he comes to you after his gf has blocked the site, explain that it may be a good thing that the site is "down". try and convince him it was a waste of his time anyway.
Joey.
 
he needs much more intervention. what you are doing is using deceit to modify his machine w/o his knowing, then you are arranging lies to cover it up all in the hopes of talking to him. You will only make his close up more. abandon this unbiblcal plan immediately. Get his parents, his pastor, and yourself directly involved and confront the issue directly and openly and don't try this plan. the biggest problem is you are going to lie to him about the site being down. Also you are going to be modifying his machine w/o his consent(aka modifying the hosts file..it's a tried and true technique). That may not be illegal..but it's certainly unethical. if you are going to modify his machine w/o his content have the courage to admit what you did(aka we blocked that website from your browser because....) He's addicted to porn which is as bad as many drugs or alcohol. Get this parents, his pastor and yourself and God involved. Don't use this backhanded deceitful plan.
 
You shouldn't force him to stop looking at the website. Besides even if you do block it he can use an online web proxy which will bypass that. Don't mess with a man's computer. You can't force remorse out of a person. Talk to him, you and his girlfriend both. Lay out your feelings on the subject but don't try to trick him.
 
Amicus Dei of [FoG];237574 said:
One of my friends is really obsessed with this website... He gets a ton of funny pictures but most of them are racist and/or have bad language...
Also it turns out that this site has a lot of porn on it.
His girlfriend really does not like this (and nor do i), so we have conspired against his access to this website.
Fortunately, I know a lot about computers, and have a friend who knows about 4 times as much as i do about them... therefore it was easy to make up a plan that would allow us to "block" the site. I put block in quotations because blocking is easy to get around, and this is very difficult. In fact it redirects the URL and all related URLs for the site to 0.0.0.0, which is nothing. The only way to negate the effects of this is to erase some lines of text from a file and save it using the correct method, but that file can only be accessed if you know the exact directory and put it in run or unhide all the files and happen accross it (which would be an extraordinary happening).
The idea is to get his girlfriend to his computer while he is not around (distracted by his sister), and she will follow a set of 4 step instructions, which will take less than 1 minute (or even < 30 seconds), to make the computer redirect the site to nothing. Then when he attempts to get on the site, he will eventually conclude that the internet is down.
After that, she will somehow convince him to talk to me about it without hinting that she knows what happened. I will tell him simply that I can't get on the site either (in order to make this the truth I conveniently have it blocked on mine as well, and am unable to get on). Naturally he will assume the site is down, and will proceed to not try and access it for a while.

Eventually he may discover that it has been blocked, but he will be unable to fix it. His friends who also know about the site have been notified by me to tell him the site is down when he asks, also...
As well as this, the one person who knows how to fix it that he will ask will not tell him how to fix it.


The idea: get him off the site. Get his obsession for the site out of him. Only then will it not rule his life and his relationship with his girlfriend (it's all he ever talks about).

Does this sound like a good thing to do?
Click to expand...

is this 4chan by any chance? i have a friend that wont stop going there either. the main thing is, they have to want to stop, until then pretty much useless.
 
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I... am going to go ahead and agree with most of the people here, and say it's probably not the best idea. I hope you're not feeling condemned with this overwhelminly negative response. For practical purposes, I think the plan is genius.

Honestly, I think what you've devised can still be really helpful. The deceitful nature of it seems to be what people here are having a problem with. And so yeah, I would say, first, you and his gf confront him about it and if nothing else let him know you disapprove and want him to change.

THEN! If it's not something he feels convicted about, there's really nothing you can do but pray... cause at that point, if he wants to get on, he'll find a way. BUT! If he does see that it's dangerous and wants to stop, that's when you can actually offer to help and disable it from his computer. Not a perfect way to keep him away from it, but it helps when you don't have access from the privacy of your personal computer.

That's all I've got. I think your plan could be really helpful, just get him involved. See ya!

-Chadley
 
I think I ended up parroting everyone, but, that's good right?

While I don't have much experience with dealing with people I've never seen anyone react good to being manipulated. Even if you were able to block the site (which I doubt) there are a million other sites with similar content. I know your idea may seem all cool and cloak and dagger like, but, it's not going to effect a real change in him and may hurt any chance of talking to him if he finds out. Really the whole situation gives you a chance to talk to him about the content of the site and get him asking questions about why it is both immoral and offensive. However it is important that...

A. You don't just tell him it's wrong, but, get HIM to start asking why it's wrong.
B. Once you have him asking you must have the answers to why it is immoral ready. So figure out exactly why it is immoral beforehand both on a logical and biblical level.
C. Do not allow yourself to get mad in the discussion. The goal is to help him. If he starts yelling and you respond in kind most probably nothing is going to be accomplished. You've got to let him see you care about both him and the issue.
D. I don't know what his girlfriend has said, but, she needs to be prepared and committed in a similar manner and you need to make sure she is in no way being lead by you, lest she abandon you on the issue.
E. While both you and his girlfriend want to have one mind on the issue having to talk to two people at once may be seen as a attack. I suggest one on one discourse, but, this depends on the person. Some people are ok with a three way discussion.

If the site is as I understand here are some starter questions you may want to think about or use...

Do you thing it's funny when a one person bullies and name calls another? Such racial slurs are hurtful to peoples feelings and breed hatred among them.
Don't you think sex has a effect on society? It's purpose is to create children. Even if the one dodges pregnancy and STDs there is a emotional connection that goes with the act. Why do you think women are traumatized by rape? Do you want to have a spouse who loves and is committed to only you? Just what will the person who engages in sexual activities give to their spouse that they haven't given to everyone else (note even if you have already given it away it is never to later to say "never again")? Porn has people degrading what should be a sacred act of love to a meaningless monetary activity. Sexual explicit language has the same effect of degrading sex to shock value. Are you prepared to see just about anything? Once a site goes the immoral route they are often lacking in any restraint meaning there is NO LIMIT to the perversion you could see whether you want to or not. Are you prepared to be exposed to anything? Also express that both you and his girlfriend find that site personally offensive. Ask him don't you care the feelings of you and her over a web site?

Don't forget the biblical angle too. There are plenty of verses against fornication and not letting unclean things come out of your mouth.

If you can get him to agree that the site is immoral THEN offer to block the site for him. If one doesn't want to do something I don't see why he would object.

The obvious thing, and the one thing I can say with absolute certainty, is while it's good to ask others opinions, your parents, your pastor, and even here. You know THE ONE you should really ask about this matter :D
 
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I must say, while at first I was like "Okay this is for his own good" but then I felt like the deceit factor was a little too much. While it would be for his own good, I'm not going to agree with this for that reason. Sorry.
 
You need to talk with him. It's his PC you're messing with. If it was yours or someone elses....'ok...' But you need to talk with him still.


The problem is not the site.....it's with him. so blocking the site is not going to fix anything....he'll just find a new site.....and believe me...he will.


And what you're explaining...editing the Hosts file......is not that difficult to find and change. Another problem with it.....is if the site has multiple IPs for redundancy and load balancing. You'd have to figure out ALL the address.
 
Stc95 said:
Maybe i would have first talked to him about the site before doing all this. But again it depends on the person.
Click to expand...

she's talked to him about it many times...
he doesn't think he's obsessed or even serious about it

Hescominsoon said:
get his parents, his pastor, and yourself directly involved and confront the issue directly
Click to expand...
his parents don't care and his pastor doesn't exist... he used to claim to be mormon but he really only went through the motions.
also he claims to want to convert to catholicism because his girlfriend is catholic.

Atown said:
is this 4chan by any chance? i have a friend that wont stop going there either. the main thing is, they have to want to stop, until then pretty much useless.
Click to expand...
o.0 good guess, but he may never want to stop. he disregards morals (when his girlfriend said you're not supposed to be on that site because you're too young he replied "age limits mean nothing") and he's not Christian (obviously doesn't care to be... but he wants to be considered "Catholic" for his girlfriend

Cloud G said:
You'd have to figure out ALL the address.
Click to expand...
i need three to block the entirity of the site... the imageboards and images themselves all contain a simple URL and blocking that blocks them all


now i'm confused about what to do...
talking isn't helping... our plot is unbiblical... a few of my other friends, who he also talks to about the site and shares pictures with, are not going to promote our idea against it...

i've prayed and i'm waiting for answers, meanwhile asking you guys for reinforced guidance...

i hate to say it but this sucks. :(
 
people make their own desicions in life mate. You have to accept that. Continue to pray, and be a good influence. I'll pray for your friend as well.
 
Amicus Dei of [FoG];237623 said:
o.0 good guess, but he may never want to stop. he disregards morals (when his girlfriend said you're not supposed to be on that site because you're too young he replied "age limits mean nothing") and he's not Christian (obviously doesn't care to be... but he wants to be considered "Catholic" for his girlfriend
(
Click to expand...

I think he has MUCH deeper problems than what web site he visits. He sounds very un-serious about life and the consequence of his actions. The obvious question to the unsaved is just where does he think he'll go when he dies and why? At this point I'd also be concerned with the influence if any he exerts on you and his girlfriend. I don't know what kind of relationship he and his girlfriend have, but, if she buys that "wants to be considered a Catholic" bit (and she is a true Christian) she's going to have problems. Marriages and any serious relationships that are not founded on a common morality always will. I'd be wary of that I can change him after I marry or otherwise commit to him attitude (although I don't think they are old enough for marriage given your age). This all only reinforces not blocking the site though. It is better that she see him as he really is for her sake.

Cloud G said:
people make their own decisions in life mate. You have to accept that. Continue to pray, and be a good influence. I'll pray for your friend as well.
Click to expand...

Ditto
 
The means is always every bit as important as the ends. It may work on TV, but in real life fighting evil with evil just doesn't work out.
 
Cloud G said:
people make their own desicions in life mate. You have to accept that. Continue to pray, and be a good influence. I'll pray for your friend as well.
Click to expand...

Agreed. That statement is why I stayed with my ex girlfriend for 3 months too long. I was afraid of what she'd do if we broke up. Well, You ahve to realize you can't control him. Just pray and hope for the best.

My new girlfriend (a strong Christian) and I have been praying for my ex and she just started going to church again after a year long absence. So, pray, talk to him about it. If he ignores the talks, its not your responsibility.
 
sadly this thread is pretty popular to post in i see x_x

by the way i have trouble just letting things go to the wind... i feel that this is basically wounding his soul and there's nothing i can do about it unless i stop it completely...
also i find it difficult to talk to people about things i want them to work with because not only do i not like telling people they have flaws but i don't think anybody really has ever absorbed anything i had to say (about anything, not just them).
For example, i don't like playing golf with my dad (i won't explain the reasons now) and when he told me to explain why i never tell him these things i said he wouldn't listen to me anyway... and he didn't take anything i said to hear, he just said, "no," turned it around and used it against me.

i wouldn't have thought this thread would depress me but it's beginning to turn the skies gray
 
I have a feeling if you block this site he will find out and it won't change a thing it will also make things worse also he will probably never talk to you again. Do this will not change anything except the fact he may never be open to Christ again because of your actions.
 
Amicus Dei of [FoG];237680 said:
sadly this thread is pretty popular to post in i see x_x

by the way i have trouble just letting things go to the wind... i feel that this is basically wounding his soul and there's nothing i can do about it unless i stop it completely...
also i find it difficult to talk to people about things i want them to work with because not only do i not like telling people they have flaws but i don't think anybody really has ever absorbed anything i had to say (about anything, not just them).
For example, i don't like playing golf with my dad (i won't explain the reasons now) and when he told me to explain why i never tell him these things i said he wouldn't listen to me anyway... and he didn't take anything i said to hear, he just said, "no," turned it around and used it against me.

i wouldn't have thought this thread would depress me but it's beginning to turn the skies gray
Click to expand...

if he refuses to repent..your hands are clean. Pray for him and then move on..there's nothing you are going to be able to do. It sucks sometimes you ahave to give them over to their evil desires and let them fall into the pit on their own.
 
You can't live someone elses life. You got to let them fail if they refuse not to be helped. Sometimes people are brought into the dumps so they realise they need God. Forcing someone to be righteous won't work. Just take a look at all the kids that were by Godly parents. They didn't really love God but were forced to go to church etc. Then they are on their own and sin. But just remember the prodical son story. The son made it back and realized how his father was right all along. Jesus sometimes lets us hurt ourselves by bad choices to wake us up.
 
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