The Rules of Anime

Tek7

Tek7

CGA President, Tribe of Judah Founder & President
Staff member
I was pleased to discover we had several anime aficionados lurking on our forums when they recently surfaced to post in the
Anime Fall 2007 Season Reviews thread.

Since we have a decent number of anime "experts" around, I thought I'd start compiling a list of the "Rules of Anime." This may spin off into other, more serious threads about the psychology behind many anime series, but for now, let's just have some fun.
 
  1. No anime character will have both parents present for a full series. One parent (usually the mother) will die while the main character is still young (usually between 6 and 12 years of age) and before the series begins. The only exception for this rule is reverse vampires.
  2. Mothers who die young are quiet, sweet, noble, and very pretty. (c.f. Mai HiME, Bleach, Jubei-chan)
  3. Pre-adolescent female characters who are very quiet are more powerful, more intelligent, or more important than they initially appear.
 
* If two strangers meet and are attracted to each other, there is a 75% chance they are lost siblings
* There must be at least 1 moe character
* Magical Girls will always pose and/or grandstand after their transformation sequence.
 
* You may fight the most powerful being in existence but come next season they will introduce someone infinitely more powerful. (DBZ Power level syndrome)
* Amnesia is more common then you would think.
* Giant robots used for peacekeeping are inevitable in every fictional futuristic society. No matter the mass destruction they cause while defending the good guys.
 
I am by no means a expert (I actually got into anime after reading Tek's old posts), but, I have noticed a few things.

1. Characters will never fight unless they have other characters watching to narrate the fight or be amazed by the fighter's hidden powers.

2. Pre-adolescent girls always carry a mallet.

3. That there are no fat female students in Japan in spite of many having humongous appetites.

4. Anime with large numbers of women will be disproportionately attracted to one guy ignoring all others.

5. That the nicer and more modest you are the more luckless and awkward situations you will find yourself in.

6. That every school class in Japan gets at least one transfer student.

7. That the head bad guy could have been defeated in episode one if you had just used the power of friendship to begin with.

8. That animators will cut costs by having lots of narrating characters that require only blinking and mouth movement. They will also reduce cost by including 5 minutes of what happened last time and what will happen next time footage not to mention another 5 minutes of "flashback" or "transformation" animation... sometimes from the same episode. (and yes Naruto would be a example of what I am thinking of).
 
Last edited:
Anime Women have disproportionate sized breasts to the rest of their body and can still move with the grace of an acrobat with breasts larger than some small cars. (Ok, an exaggeration, still. They draw Anime women with huge boobs, I find it crude.)

90% of the time. The "bad guy/girl" turns out to be the good guy working under cover to help the hero. (At least from the few animes I have seen)

Spikey hair is a must in all Animes.

Also, this list is given based upon a very limited anime experience.
 
the_great_eskimo_pie said:
Anime Women have disproportionate sized breasts to the rest of their body and can still move with the grace of an acrobat with breasts larger than some small cars. (Ok, an exaggeration, still. They draw Anime women with huge boobs, I find it crude.)
Click to expand...

I figure it's the helium that gives them the lift for the acrobatics and please Moped at the most :p

the_great_eskimo_pie said:
90% of the time. The "bad guy/girl" turns out to be the good guy working under cover to help the hero. (At least from the few animes I have seen)
Click to expand...

At least one bad guy in any anime will become a good guy with an attitude.

the_great_eskimo_pie said:
Spikey hair is a must in all Animes.
Click to expand...

One word AERODYNAMICS! :p


Seriously though I find the women's chest sizes to be crude and trite as well.
 
Whenever two or more people engage in battle, time slows by a factor of five in the outside world, but inside the "combat bubble," physics speeds up by a factor of three.
 
kraniac said:
Whenever two or more people engage in battle, time slows by a factor of five in the outside world, but inside the "combat bubble," physics speeds up by a factor of three.
Click to expand...

lol,science nerd

*all very skinny male characters have special strength to lift up swords the size of a mini-van

p.s. i jsut spelled mini-van minny-van :eek: i need to get off my pc mroe and study spelling
 
Anime Women have disproportionate sized breasts to the rest of their body and can still move with the grace of an acrobat with breasts larger than some small cars. (Ok, an exaggeration, still. They draw Anime women with huge boobs, I find it crude.)
Click to expand...

The actual size changes every episode or sometimes multiple times within an episode.
 
Good guys always allow the bad guy to monologue.

Giant Robots are nearly indestructible, unless hit with a normal pistol shot.

The strength of the person inside the robot effects the strength of the robot 9000 million time more than the metal and machinery that makes up the robot.
 
kraniac said:
Whenever two or more people engage in battle, time slows by a factor of five in the outside world, but inside the "combat bubble," physics speeds up by a factor of three.
Click to expand...

In Dragon Ball Z they went as far as having an actually room that did that -_- . I'm waiting for the anime that has a single fight that lasts the entire season... wait I'm pretty sure Dragon Ball Z did if you count the build up, training for, red shirt sacrifices, last minute run-ins/power discoveries and aftermaths -_-.

the_great_eskimo_pie said:
Good guys always allow the bad guy to monologue.
Click to expand...

That not limited to bad guys it works in reverse too.


More Gerbil listings...

9. No matter how many impossible feats a person sees they will still be astounded and disbelieving when they see the next one.

10. Nothing is actually taught in anime schools because they have no time between clubs, hanging out with friends in the classroom/elsewhere, holding down a job, chores and/or supporting your sole relative grandparent and of course fighting the forces of darkness.

11. Unlike car licenses or drinking you must be under 21 to drive a giant robot.

12. Main character magical pretty girls must...
a. have a magically cute pet.
b. have pink somewhere in their outfit... ok so much pink it makes you want to gag.
c. do a slightly unsettling magical transformation considering their age.
d. never be the oldest or youngest in their group of super powered friends.
e. be unrecognizable while transformed even though nothing is concealing your face.
f. be ditzy.

13. Cites/areas devastated by fighting re-spawn in the episode after the fighting ends.

14. Even though you are wearing a impossibly small school girl dress you will still be embarrassed if your underwear shows.

15. If you are an old man with any significant part you will be lecherous.

16. No matter how much destruction and death secret beings or organizations cause, the general public will always remain oblivious to them.

17. If you can transform once you have at least two transformations to go.
 
Last edited:
*There must be at least 17 characters with huge and/or blue hair. No exceptions, unless they're a vampire.
*When a cool action sequence ensues, another character has to have his tiny mouth suddenly open 2-3 feet wide with awe as he adds a little commentary on what we already know is going on.
*Robots are cool. The bigger and more complex, the better.
*Power is judged by "levels"
*All men are martial arts masters, and all women are more intelligent and have large "attributes"
*Manias are for the WIN
*An old man you meet on a journey is probably your third great great uncle twice removed who is also a 234982374th degree blackbelt and a ub3r-mage who will teach you everything you need to know to fight someone you only feared before and never really cared to ever meet.
*Rich kids' cars are actually robots.
*The powerful guys can fly.
 
of course, the number one rule: The main character's girlfriend(given that hte main char is a guy) can hit much harder than any villain.
 
Another one from me.

All Anime Characters, while they may complain about not having money. Always somehow end up with enough money to re-outfit their giant robot or buy that dress they absolutely wanted to have.


Swordsmen are either crazy men who fight like banshee's or totally cool, calm and collected and would sooner kill you than speak to you.

American's are pretty stupid (at least in the Animes I have seen.) Where as the Japanese should rule the world.

If something goes terribly wrong all we have to do to fix it is find 7 magic gum drops or whatever it is. And make a wish.

Most Priests/pastors have a gun hidden in their Bible.
 
not really a rule..but..In all animes (except for Mobile Suit Gundam) my favorite character(s) seem to die...Zechs Marquisse lives!
half of the bad guy organizations are acronyms ex: ZAFT Zodiac Alliance Federation Treaty
the bad guys with the puny weapons are always more powerful than the good guys with weapons the size of a full-grown oak
 
-If the characters are in a classroom the main character almost always has the desk on the edge of the classroom next to the window.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top