No, just kidding. I've got a great study bible I think is an NIV. I'm looking into getting another similar to the King James' without all-ith thou fancy-ith language.
I heard that there are three different types of bibles that fall into the following categories. Maybe we can put together a list...?
Direct translation
King James
New King James
Mostly a direct translation, slightly changed for better understand of the message
NIV
Changed a lot in order to grasp the message
The Message
Each translation has their strengths and weaknesses, and it might even be wise to have multiple different versions out as you read.
It can be argued that heavily altered scripture such as The Message is inaccurate, heretical, and evil. I've heard people go as far to say that anything that's not the King James is all the devil's material (which it's not). But we know that all scripture is God-inspiried. Is that divine inspiration limited to the original authors of the Hebrew text? I think not. From what I've seen, new translations are authored by numerous different biblical scholars (and probably all Christ followers). I completely believe that these authors are divinely inspired to translate the scripture.
But in the end, does it really matter? If a person learns, understands, and believes the Good News -- that God came to the earth in the form of a man, was born from a virgin, lived a sinless life, was killed and buried, resurrected after three days, that we are all sinners and the only punishment for sin is death, Jesus took our punishment for sin so that we may have eternal life with Him in heaven, and that nothing matters besides Jesus -- then all the rest is fluff (good fluff, but not as important as the Good News). By the time a person believes and craves Jesus, then they will want to find a text they can use to learn how to live their lives. They will WANT to find a bible to teach and proliferate the greatest message of all to others.
...
Let me stress that I believe the rest of the Bible to be awesome, the Truth, and everything a person should and needs to know. It is Holy. Great. Awesome. The best thing in the world. But NOTHING is as important as Jesus, and the path to Jesus is not as important as getting there.