I must admit that I did not expect what Epic announced for the future of UT recently. My hope is that the "open" development process Epic has chosen will result in an arena shooter revival. I understand it will be a long, long time coming, but I'm so pleased to be able to legitimately look forward to what comes next for UT.
On a more serious note: I often abstain from sharing my doubts and frustrations regarding Tribe of Judah because I feel it's not the "Christian" thing to do and it may weaken the community. I've long had plans and goals for ToJ that still have yet to materialize after years of daydreaming, so I consider myself more a failure than a success as a leader.
But then I see replies from community members and realize that it's not my goals that matter, ultimately. What matters is that God uses this community--this framework for helping people gather and interact in a healthy way--to help heal, teach, and instruct fellow believers. The forums aren't as organized as I'd like, the hierarchy and structure isn't nearly as clear as I'd like (as evidenced by how often I need to explain that ToJ and CGA are, in fact, separate entities and that ToJ is one of several member-groups of the CGA), we have trouble filling staff positions and maintaining staff activity, and ToJ isn't where I want it to be according to my very narrow view.
And while that disappointment ensures that I continue to work toward improving the "structure" of our community, it can also lead, at times, to despair. So when I finally admit that I'm having a tough time of it, it's wonderfully encouraging to read how ToJ has encouraged and blessed others. I recognize that ToJ has succeeded despite my involvement, not because of my involvement, and I believe I understand Paul's statements regarding Christ being glorified in my weakness a little better each day I serve in a leadership role.
I have all these notes for how I plan to make ToJ better, bigger, and more organized, but I feel an increasingly heavy burden to put all that aside for a season and instead call all members to pray. I can plant and another can water, but it's God who gives growth--growth in terms of increased usefulness for God's purposes, not necessarily an increase in numbers or "happiness."
I'll constantly wrestle with whether I'm providing a safe place for Christians to step away from the world long enough to catch their breath and start to heal or simply enabling those who shun involvement in a local church because it's uncomfortable. The line between the two scenarios is often blurred and it often takes the prompting of the Holy Spirit to tell the difference. But I want to continue to be part of a group that welcomes people who are going through terrible times and rest in the knowledge that there's a virtual "home" where they can relax, unwind, and share the trials of life with other believers.
Would I love for everything to be organized? Certainly.
Would I like for communication to be clearer? Most definitely.
Do I want to get out there and recruit scores of new members? Better believe it.
And maybe I will, in time. Those things aren't bad, by any means. But they're not the most important thing.
Before I ask anyone to help with something specific, like running a server or building a web site,
I'm asking everyone to commit to praying for ToJ. Pray that God would reveal His purpose for ToJ in the coming months and years, that He would empower me and our staff members to realize that vision, and that He would prepare a way for us among those He would have us reach.
I've said it before and it bears repeating: I feel completely unqualified to lead ToJ. I really think other people who are more disciplined, possess better social skills, and are less prone to distraction would be a better fit to lead, but here I am, awkwardly fumbling my way through and proving that God will indeed use anyone.
. I would game more often Gerbil with you Tek and the guys during TF 2 night but it is too late at night for me sadly and I miss those days of being Pwned by Captain Tea, MG, ColdSteel in Unreal 2K4 and UT 3 (still say it was my ISP speed lol), I hope that we can again can enjoy our Battles as we once did
). Unfortunately I get the feeling it's P2W up to about level 25-30ish (which is a month of play). If you spend your certifications extremely wisely up to then it should become fair. It's also hampered by spawn camping issues at times though you can redeploy to another area. Regardless you should try it with your preferences for games. It can't hurt since it's F2P. Just a suggestion 
