Where have all the 20-somethings gone?

Tek7

Tek7

CGA President, Tribe of Judah Founder & President
Staff member
It might just be the Midwest, but there seems to be a conspicuous absence of people between 18 and 30 in the America church today.

Two questions for discussion:
  1. Do you think this assessment is accurate?
  2. If you agree, why do you think so few 20-somethings attend a local church?
 
honestly i would have to say there is a lack of MALE 20-somethings in the church. And honestly i have to say that its easier for females to pick up christianity compared to males and i think that has had a teribly adverse affect to the current american church
 
20 year olds have a lot to do...i have noticed that at my Church as well, the 20 year old guys like to come but they rarely do because they are so busy. it also might be that SOME 20 year olds don't delight in going to church? i don't know.
 
In my area it is a distinctive lack of females in the church. I would say there is probably 8x as many college guys attending as females. Of course the college ministry is very small but it seems that way across the various churches in our area.
 
I am a 20-something that doesn't regularly attend church, but I don't think that my reasons for nonattendance are the same as most of the people my age. Nevertheless, here they are.

I don't go to church because I can't find one to meet my intellectual needs. Every church I have been to focuses too much on how to live a Christian life and not at all on why we believe what we do.

I want to be able to walk into a church and hear the preacher reconcile the concepts of free will and divine omniscience, not tell me that I should believe in God because it feels good or because He's going to give me more money and a better job.

Philosophy and religion are supposed to be the medicine of the soul, the cure for sleepless nights and existential panic. Religion is supposed to offer a purpose for our lives. But I feel like the church today just promises us more "blessings," i.e. tangible things.

Secondly, most churches offer a model of a "personal relationship" with God that I find unsatisfying at best and untenable at worst.
 
Too many churches focus on "packaging" up the message such that the original message gets altered horribly. I guess people expect to go on sunday and get their "Jesus pill" for the week.
 
Tek7 said:
It might just be the Midwest, but there seems to be a conspicuous absence of people between 18 and 30 in the America church today.

Two questions for discussion:
  1. Do you think this assessment is accurate?
  2. If you agree, why do you think so few 20-somethings attend a local church?
Click to expand...
it's accurate of men in general. listen to this three part series for a good rundown of the issues and one church in alaska's excellent solution:
http://www.familylife.com/fltoday/d...words=men+in+the+church&image1.x=0&image1.y=0
 
kraniac said:
I am a 20-something that doesn't regularly attend church, but I don't think that my reasons for nonattendance are the same as most of the people my age. Nevertheless, here they are.

I don't go to church because I can't find one to meet my intellectual needs. Every church I have been to focuses too much on how to live a Christian life and not at all on why we believe what we do.

I want to be able to walk into a church and hear the preacher reconcile the concepts of free will and divine omniscience, not tell me that I should believe in God because it feels good or because He's going to give me more money and a better job.

Philosophy and religion are supposed to be the medicine of the soul, the cure for sleepless nights and existential panic. Religion is supposed to offer a purpose for our lives. But I feel like the church today just promises us more "blessings," i.e. tangible things.

Secondly, most churches offer a model of a "personal relationship" with God that I find unsatisfying at best and untenable at worst.
Click to expand...

It is so hard finding a good church. me and my family have gone to so many Church's and had big problems doing it...the Christian faith is so all over the place right now :mad:
 
I am 20, I am have been attending the same church for about 4 years...and I love it...but we have really lost a lot of people between the ages of 18-30...
 
|CoR|Braveheart said:
It is so hard finding a good church. me and my family have gone to so many Church's and had big problems doing it...the Christian faith is so all over the place right now :mad:
Click to expand...
The Christian faith has not changed..unfortunately man's willingness to go by the Bible's definition is what's all over the place..:(
 
Hehe, well I'm a 20-something... when my hubby and I lived in our hometown, we went to an amazing church. It was a larger church that still retained the friendly, "homey", family feeling. The pastor really focused on biblically accurate sermons, that contained both "milk" for the newer Christians, as well as "meat" for the seasoned Christians. He didn't pull any punches and wasn't afraid to tell things like they are, but he did it all in love... you could tell that his heart was for the people in his church. The focus was all on Christ. The church had a lot of in-church programs, but the pastor also made sure that more money was spent on missions and community outreach (the homeless, abuse centers, inner-city kids, jail programs) than on in-church programs. There was a VERY nice cross-section of people that attended there... upper, middle, and lower-class, all races, all ages (including lots of 20-30-somethings), and all backgrounds. My hubby and I are from very different Christian backgrounds, but we both loved it at that church.

Now, in the place where we live, we have yet to find a church that really clicks with us. For the most part churches fall into one of two groups: more traditional churches where the sermons are long, rambling, and too inflated. You can't figure out exactly what the point is that these pastors are trying to make. Missions/outreach tend not to be a priority, and it's difficult to get involved with the church at a community level.

The other group is churches where the message is all touchy-feely, happy-time, God-will-prosper-you-if-you-give-your-tithes churches with more church programs than community outreach programs. They tend to feel like more of a social club than a church, and they focus on "living well" rather than salvation or real biblical/spiritual issues. I usually see more young people at these churches, but the whole thing feels like a big social scene for young singles and young marrieds w/ kids, and the hubby and I don't fall into either of those.

So... in the meantime until we find something that clicks, my hubby and I have been listening to our old pastor via web, as well as a couple of other pastors that we like from other cities. It's not the best solution though, so hopefully we'll find a good church soon... unless we get transferred to a new city in '08, then the whole process will start all over again. :(
 
Hescominsoon said:
The Christian faith has not changed..unfortunately man's willingness to go by the Bible's definition is what's all over the place..:(
Click to expand...

That's another reason I don't regularly attend somewhere. I feel like what church is today is too far removed from what it was to the apostles and the early Christians.
 
Tek7 said:
It might just be the Midwest, but there seems to be a conspicuous absence of people between 18 and 30 in the America church today.

Two questions for discussion:
  1. Do you think this assessment is accurate?
  2. If you agree, why do you think so few 20-somethings attend a local church?
Click to expand...

I personally fall into the tail-end of the "20-somethings" (29). I didn't grow up going to church, so seeing trends of now versus 15 years ago... I have no basis. But my past also forms my viewpoint

so to answer your questions:

1) Do you think this assessment is accurate?

Yes. It does seem in my church that the smallest population is the mid-20s people. There are a lot of younger kids that come with their parents, a lot of 30-50 y/o parents, and a decent amount of the older folks as well. The group we see the least of are the early-to-mid-20s people.

2) If you agree, why do you think so few 20-somethings attend a local church?

Hard to tell. I can think of a few different reasons, so here they are.

2a) College. A lot of the local kids go off to college, so they're not here to go to our church anymore.

2b) Independence. They were never really into it, just came because their parents made them. Now that they're "free", they don't come. Look how many kids move away from home and get into trouble as they "stretch their wings"

2c) Upbringing. I didn't start going to church until I was in my late teens... went for a year or two, became disenfranchised for some of the reasons that Kraniac and Moxie mentioned. I completely walked away from everything because of my lack of spiritual upbringing and lack of a church to "feed me". It wasn't until my late 20s that I started getting back to the foundations of what I believed because I had access to a co-worker that was a devout Christian - a good man that was a beacon of hope in my life.

2d) Some Problem. The churches that I attended in my late teens/early 20s really just didn't work for me. I went for a long time to feel each church out, make sure that I didn't jump to conclusions about what each church was doing. The last church I attended

2e) Who knows. They left because they didn't like the particular church, it doesn't suit their needs, they're embarrassed because they don't have money to tithe, their church felt stagnant... there could be tons of reasons. I'm sure there are more than I can come up with...but the above are what came to mind rapidly.

How do we fix these things?

2a) College: Unless your church or community is in a situation to start one, this one can't be helped.

Everyone else: Make contact. Find some way to get in touch with the people that leave your congregation and talk to them. Don't accost them or make them feel persecuted. Just tell them that you noticed they stopped coming, and wonder if there was something the church body did wrong? The pastor said wrong? Some personal conflict? There are all kinds of reasons that people move on. It may just be a natural parting of ways. Maybe there's a problem that can be resolved.
 
We seem to be kinda short on thirty-somethings too, or at least thirty-something singles, at least in Atlanta. It's making it hard for one of my best friends to find a new church.

I know a lot of people who aren't attending churches because they can't find the church that's "right" for them, including people I respect, but we aren't really given that option. Scripture calls us to assemble together for worship, not just assemble together when we find a place that suits us perfectly. Yes, I've been out searching for a church, after a betrayal by a pastor who we thought was our friend, no less. It's not easy, but you simply won't find the church that perfectly suits your expectations. Certain things are essential, of course, like that it's Biblically sound. Set a reasonable standard, and then ask God to help you find a body of believers. Then accept His decision, even if it isn't exactly what you would expect.

And think about it: if you, as a member of a given demographic who is a believer, won't attend, how can unchurched members of your demographic be expected to do so?
 
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