Untitled story chapter 1


New Member
Okay just to let you know, I have no idea what the rules are for posting here, so I'm going to post the first chapter of this story I'm working on right now.
I don't want to ruin too much about it, except I will tell you it's supposed to take place in the past. So when I finish number two where do I need to post it?
Should I just post it here has chapter two or should I make a new thread and name it (whatever I finally decided to name this book) and the chapter number/name?

Chapter 1

Years ago the world seemed so different; before the rise of the Nephilim, before they began to take the animals that loved us and use them for fighting in their cruel war, before the adventure began to break the empire, to free the people and animals that are being crushed for their own twisted pleasure. My name is Nathan, and this is my story…

14 year old Nathan lazed about outside in the jungle even though his dad had sent him to cut wood. He stared up at the thick white clouds that passes over him and flowed softly toward his village and every once in a while would make up in his mind what one of them were. His brown eyes sparkled as the sun kissed his face with a light glow and his thick curly black hair swayed as the wind passed through the trees.

From nowhere a girl of about the same age poked her head from over his “Hey Nathan!” she exclaimed with a bit of a girlish glee.

Nathan yelled and fell off the giant tree root he had been laying on hitting the ground with a soft thud. Nathan then looked up at the girl with the same kind of dark skin he had, her hair was of a soft brown color and her eyes were green like the huge leaves that covered many of the plants of the world’s jungle. “Abigail!” Nathan grunted furious “You can’t just sneak up on me like that!”

Abigail put her finger to her chin and perked her slips a bit while her eyes rolled upward “Hmm,” she said as she thought for a moment then as suddenly as her attention was fixed on Nathan again exclaimed “Apparently I can!”

Nathan grown knowing that she was only messing with him now “What do you want Abigail?” he asked rubbing the back of his head to feel if there were a knot forming.

“Your father sent me to make sure that you weren’t lazing about.” She explained with a smile “It appears that you were.”

“Hey, I was not!” Nathan yelled defensively “I was just uhh… taking a break from all the hard work is all.”

“Hard work huh? Where is all the wood you’ve cut then?”

Nathans eyes shot over to the axe he had stuck in the tree as soon as he got here “Well … it’s not here … I left it somewhere else.”

“Somewhere else?” she asked with a raised eyebrow and voice of suspicion.

“Yup, somewhere … else … just tell my dad that I’m not lazing about please.”

“Well…” Abigail said with another thoughtful expression on her face “I might be convinced to lie for you… for a price.”

Nathan sighed knowing he didn’t really have a choice “Alright, and what price is that?” he asked gruffly.

“A kiss.” Abigail said grinning ear from ear.

“Wait, what? A kiss? Are you kidding me?” Nathan asked heart pounding, he had never kissed a girl before, well except his mom of course. Abigail nodded with a sweet and serious look on her face “Uh… okay then… sure…” he answered as he got up from the ground heart pounding furiously in his chest as Nathan and Abigail leaned toward each other a giant green lizard, big enough for a human to ride, brushed through the shrubs and made an odd sound, something like “gawnk” causing Nathan to kiss it instead.

Abigail pulled back right before and began to giggle “Nathan I said kiss me, not a chameleon.”

Nathan opened his eyes and screamed as he pulled back “Ahh, what the heck?” Nathan exclaimed then sighed “Chameleon, go away.” He said a bit annoyed.

The lizard gawnked again and cocked his head sideways as if it were trying to understand Nathan. Abigail laughed all the more “Okay, this was funny enough, I’ll tell your dad you’re working hard, but you better actually bring back some wood.” She teased and skipped away.

“Yeah yeah…” Nathan said with a sigh as he took the axe from the tree “no problem.”
Welcome, welcome. Always good to see another amateur writer willing to put their work on display.

I'd recommend putting the next installment in this same thread for readability sake. It's much easier to go back and review other portions of a story if it is all in the same thread. That being said, I'm not sure if there is a hard rule about it. Neirai would be the one with that answer. I'm also not entirely sure about rules. I suspect you shouldn't post a graphic (language, gore, sex) story as there are younger members of the forum.
Patriot is right on both counts. I'm fairly open and pragmatic about language, gore, and even sex (within reason -- not porn,) but I'm also beholden to uphold the codes and desires of CGAlliance. I am always happy to see another potential writer, though :)
Welcome! It's great to see some more creative writing here. I like the premise of the story, and I like some of your poetic language (i.e., "the sun kissed" etc.). It always helps to bring the story alive. Kissing the lizard was pretty funny. My only suggestion would be to tighten up the grammar, punctuation, and flow. It makes the story easier to read.