Swearing appropriately in stories.

Annath

New Member
Okay, as a Christian author, this has been bugging me. I'm writing a story that takes place in a rather dark setting, that leads to a lot of dark dialogue. For this reason, there are times when I feel like my characters, very few of which represent typical, nice, church-going types, would likely swear. Thing is, I'm trying to keep this audience appropriate, namely, fellow Christian readers.
It's just that, having characters like teenagers who were just beaten and excommunicated, street-hardened cops who come upon a dire situation, and weary street thugs saying things like "darn!" or "crap." just sounds silly and out of place.

So I suppose that my question, aimed at other writers, is, do you think it is appropriate to include swearing where it might realistically be used? An example is this. I'm writing a dark, Watchmen-esque superhero story in which most of the superhumans discover their powers in traumatic "activations." One of the characters, a seventeen year old girl, discovers that she has the ability to stun people with bright flashes of light and loud noises(think military flash-bang) when she is attacked by a man who intends to rape her. She successfully fends him off when she uses her power for the first time, completely by accident. In doing so she causes him to go through a second story window and he dies in the fall. Police respond to an alarm triggered in the fight, and find her in the aftermath.
In between my sobs I saw the door across from me in the empty apartment burst open. Two police officers charge into the room, weapons drawn. They moved toward me, but upon seeing my torn clothes and disheveled state, they lowered their guns and walked toward me slowly.
“Ma'am, are you okay?” One of them said in a diplomatic voice. Someone must've heard my shouting. I slowly shook my head no, and looked down. They both came out onto the fire escape and looked down at what I was looking at.
The officer's tone quickly changed from diplomatic to weary.
“[Word of exasperation].”
I feel like the point at which I have "[Word of exasperation]" would be a point where a cop, who is likely tired and under a lot of stress and has just discovered a dead man and a panic stricken girl, might swear.

Now, I don't think that having villains randomly dropping f-bombs or strewing it throughout the dialogue is a good idea, but realistically, people swear. Do you think it would be appropriate to accept and include this, or is there a better way of obfuscating it?
 
Realistically people do a lot worse things than swear but showing those other things explicitly is not good in my option. In a perfect society I'd say go for it and the cussing will only be taken in the context of the narrative. Unfortunately this is a far from a perfect society and any use of such words will only encourage their abuse and overuse in real life. Its a vicious cycle I refuse to get into. Once words are more commonly used they become less and less "strong" thus you have to go to harsher and harsher language. I can personally testify as to one word that is now common today that was not in the past. It's even used fluently by CGA members. Plus as you've noted if this is for a Christian audience you will probably turn them off from reading it.

I understand exactly what you are saying though. There are times you want to illicit emphasis so you use a "strong" word appropriately (or rather depict it's inappropriate use appropriately). At any rate I believe the solution in your example is to put the emphasis on the main character's feelings.

IMO I would have written your passage more like this...

Everything is so still. I can't take my eyes off him now, that lifeless bloody mass, did I hate him? Did I want him dead? Did I will it so? I just wanted him to leave me alone but I'm not alone now am I? I think... I think there is someone here by me now, police officers? Was that the noise of them breaking through the door just now? One of them wants to know if I am ok. Am I ok? Can you look at me with torn clothes and tears and ask if I am ok? No I shake my head I'm not ok. NO! Stop looking at him! Why are you shocked? Why are you looking at me like that now? I don't need your sympathy. It's not my fault! I didn't want this! I just wanted him to go away please...just... just go away... just take it all away.

Also if showing the cop being tired or under a lot of stress is important a single cuss word is not going to do it alone. At the most it will infer a shock unless you establish first that the particular cop does not cuss at all and it is beyond his normal behavior pattern. If you need to have that particular cop be a reoccurring character you could have the story go to a police station or the back of a police car next (It would be a good place to break the story to a new chapter too). At that point he could apologize for his language to the girl stating stress or tiredness. Since your story is from the girls perspective and she was in a distracted state she may have not noticed such things at the time. Previous events could be recounted without the explicitness this way.

BTW If I remember right Dickens never used explicit language and only stated a character had cussed. Like Bob sweared vehemently in language that would make genteel ladies faint. Of course Dickens does it a lot more clever :) . Also indirect explicitness can actually be more effective than blatant statements if used correctly. I remember an article on comic book censorship that mentioned it made some scenes seem more gruesome than they were intended. Like one where a guy finds his girlfriend stuffed in a refrigerator dead. The panels focus on his reaction the body itself is mostly concealed. Making the reader imagine his own personal terror (or strong language) should be just as effective or even more so than what others come up with. After all some people won't wince at any words you say.

Anyway I'm not a writer (as evinced by the lack of correct punctuation :p ) but I have large amounts of dialogue ideas for video games so I come against the same problem. I am a firm believer mature subjects can and should be handled without being vulgar.

Note: Ooooooh my 1,111 post! :p
 
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Just to weigh in: I agree with you completely, Annath, but I also realize that the general Christian audience is not going to accept what you're writing as Christian if it includes swearing. Here's what I would do in that situation:

In between my sobs I saw the door across from me in the empty apartment burst open. Two police officers charge into the room, weapons drawn. They moved toward me, but upon seeing my torn clothes and disheveled state, they lowered their guns and walked toward me slowly.
“Ma'am, are you okay?” One of them said in a diplomatic voice. Someone must've heard my shouting. I slowly shook my head no, and looked down. They both came out onto the fire escape and looked down at what I was looking at.
The officer's tone quickly changed from diplomatic to weary. His stress boiled over into a stream of muffled, but vicious curses.

In this way, you don't have to explicitly write out the swear words, but you can make sure the audience knows they are there.

Example: instead of writing a character saying "****, that's messed up." you can say: Rick cursed. "That's messed up." It keeps the rating down and avoids setting off the censors, but keeps people knowing that Rick has a tendency to curse.
 
Yeah, I read lots of Ted Dekker, who writes a lot of dark stuff...like horror stuff sometimes...it is labeled Christian, he has his characters swear a lot...but never puts the word...he say things like "Then he swore!" or "He cursed under his breath" or "He began screaming every obsenity he could think of"...
 
Thanks for the replies! I have thought about going with saying that they swear in the narrative, I just wasn't sure if I could get away with doing it like that every time and not being repetitive. I have used that a couple of times.
 
I have a story where I use the "old school" method of replacing all but the first letter of the swear with dashes (e.g. "I don't give a d---"), but only because no other word fit the story.

I struggled with the decision, but ultimately felt it was the best way to express the character's anger and frustration. It doesn't mean I condone the use of profanity, but there are a lot of things my characters do that I don't condone. If there weren't, I'd be extremely limited as to what I could write.

EDIT: I should also add that the instance of "d---" I mentioned was part of an first-person/internal monologue. If I were writing from a third-person perspective, I probably would have written the scene without even a censored curse.
 
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The way I see it is that a representation of truth is applicable to story-writing as a Christian. Of course, that goes with the usual limitation of moderation. Basically if it is true that characters would express themselves with curse words, and thus it is not a sin to use that in the story. However, it isn't appropriate to make a purpose out of cramming cuss words into a book because you want the characters to be like that. That's just vulgarity.

I think the same of theatrical performances. I try to avoid getting into a situation where I'm required to use a line I would not normally say as myself, but the point of playing the role is that I'm representing another person who would do that, not myself. My theatre teacher has similar reasoning with stage kisses. She makes a point to ask her husband if it's okay before accepting a role that involves a kiss, and she backs that with the fact that it's not her and a guy kissing but her character and a guy's character kissing.

Basically if you simply, absolutely have to put a curse word, then simply, absolutely do it. If you can go without it and not harm the characterization, then refrain. If you find that this situation arises several times during writing, I'd suggest taking a step back and assessing the necessity of those uses. Sometimes you'll find that you want to do something and it isn't necessary.


P.S.: Neirai also has a point that it can't really be considered "Christian literature", because "Christian literature" implies that it exemplifies some value of the faith, not just that some Christian wrote it.
 
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I rarely seem to read anything that was not written in the 18th or 19th century at the moment which has little if any swearing. However, it certainly has other things which can be confronting from Goethe's views of suicide and the meaning of life to Dostoyevsky's parable about the church leaders who re-crucified Jesus on his second coming because they no longer wanted free will. The link I think is that these points both force you to experience world views which you would not normally encounter and force you to think and feel experiences of which you are unfamiliar.

In other words what the confronting writing of the past did (both Christian and non-christian) was a achieve something. Whether it was a change in the perspective of the reader or an experiencing of alien feelings and thoughts. I think if swearing achieves this, is included for a purpose and is faithful to the story, it should be included. If it does not, one has to question whether it is merely a sales technique and is dishonest to the story itself.

In other words i dislike the thinking which is avoidance orientated. "I have to be careful not to include naughty things". Rather i think an approach orientated writing is best. "How can I best achieve what I want from this piece". Indeed this is the approach I take with research papers. Some recent ones I have written include vast amounts of swearing as I am quoting qualitative interviews with people. In this case, if I was censoring the writing it would be both unethical and dishonest to the person who has given up the time to be interviewed. I know this is somewhat different, but a piece of writing should generally have its voice without being muffled.

EDIT: This could also be a cultural thing. In my country swearing is not really considered overly bad and while most Christians avoid it it is not really considered a big deal.
 
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It's your story so the question is, do you want the character to curse? Mama said if the shoe fits wear it Ya know! Target your audience by your choice to curse, or fringe upon, or step over! I think that what you write does not reflect you in so much to say where you stand in retrospect of reality. I love God with all my heart so if I must write of venom flung from a treacherous viper then I must say it so but not before I study into the choice word.
 
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Amicus Dei of [FoG];346330 said:
P.S.: Neirai also has a point that it can't really be considered "Christian literature", because "Christian literature" implies that it exemplifies some value of the faith, not just that some Christian wrote it.
I didn't really mean to bill it as Christian fiction, just that the majority of people that read it would be Christians. Parents, friends, anyone here that wanted to read it, etc. Again though, thanks for all the great advice guys. I think that basically what I'm going to do is go ahead and include it when absolutely necessary, and use "He swore." type dialog tags for the other times.
 
In other words i dislike the thinking which is avoidance orientated. "I have to be careful not to include naughty things". Rather i think an approach orientated writing is best. "How can I best achieve what I want from this piece".

On a side note which I thought of because you said that:
You could do what computer programmers do and go Object-Oriented; if somebody's already written it, use their work for yourself without having to copypasta it! This has already been done several times in modern pop/hip-hop/rap music, using other artists' music, such as You Spin Me Right Round or Dragostea Din Tei, to make their music more popular...
[Cheaters.]
 
don't see the problem with swearing in a book...
maybe my circle takes a very light stance to swearing, but against someone else, particularly someone you care about, is a no no to me.
heck, there's swearing in starcraft 2... but views will probably differ based on upbringing. However can say theres a lot of Christians who swear. Just at what point does a word become 'so bad that you can't say it' is a concept I cant grasp, as I could write some very nasty slander about someone without swearing even once.
 
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I'll admit, I didn't read the whole thread, just the OP. My recommendation would be to avoid swearing at all. If you read any of the big authors, they'll find creative ways to indicate that swearing occurred without actually spelling it out.

For example, the detective that sees the body and is dismayed at the implications. Since you were already speaking from the point of view of the girl with the flash-bang abilities, you can have her mental reaction to "the string of obscenities that isn't fit for mixed company" or his "mutterings that made her blush" or something like that.
 
I don't like swearing in my books.

But the real reason i posted is to say that Durruck got troll'd into posting in a thread a year and a half old :p
 
Yeh, I saw the thread-rez. That's okay... I still figured someone else writing may face the same dilemma.
 
lulwut.
Anyways, don't like unrealistic swearing just for the sake of swearing. However taking enemy fire and uttering 1000 curses and not a single swear word is a tad unrealistic.
Not here though due to forum rules I guess... not everyone here is over 21 or 18 so I understand. But if it's an m18 book or R21 game, don't see the issue.
 
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It's not that it's really "an issue" because of the forums rules, but more because we govern ourselves by the Bible.

Ephesians 4:29 says, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Notice that it doesn't say that it's okay if you're in a gunfight, if you just smashed your hand, or lost a hand of poker. Sure, we're all bound to make mistakes, but that's no excuse for writing a story utilizing improper language.
 
ON THE ORIGINAL SUBJECT:
That would depend if it's first person or third person. If I'm writing a memoir then no, but if I'm writing a book in a pseudo first person narrative about a mafia boss for instance (what is it doing here I wonder), don't think it can be avoided.


ON SWEARING IN GENERAL:
Ephesians 4:29 says, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. [/qoute]

It doesn't matter if you express it in one powerword or a thousand milder ones, the intention is you still want that person to drop dead and die this instant, and that's wrong. So I don't think swearing is any worse than saying "go and die". As long as people continue to get angry enough to lose it, malicious talk will never end. As for me, my goal is just to learn not to get tr00'd so easily and have a larger buffer before 'losing it' (quick temperedness is never a good thing), recognize I rage a lot, can name quite a few in this situation. Not saying it's all right, but don't think it's an evil that's easy for humanity as a whole to overcome, and asking people to never lose it, ever, would be near impossible to fulfill in most of us.
 
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Ephesians 4:29 says, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. [/qoute]

I think this verse from Ephesians makes it very clear. We are not to swear, and we are also not to talk in any way that would be unwholesome. This specifically refers to what might "come out of your mouths" but the written word is simply a way of recording what might otherwise come out of our mouths. In fact, the entire Old Testament was originally passed down via the spoken word (and with incredible accuracy as every person would actually memorize the entire thing, word for word, and if anyone got a single word wrong, they would have everyone around them ready to correct them) until the technology to write things on paper, or papyrus, was discovered.

Of course, we are not perfect, and God is working in us to continually make us better, but if we refuse to even make any progress and just give ourselves up to the idea of the flesh that "we can't be perfect so we should not even try" then surely we fall into the category of those who will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-21 "19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Now, as for depicting what might happen in "real life" in a story, I think the real question is: should you spend your time and energy writing a story that focuses on such dark events, especially a fiction? If it were a real thing that had happened and you were writing a news article about it, or a factual story based all or in part on what actually transpired, there might be an exception to this, but as a rule, we ought to look at the following set of verses (as well as others, which I can look up and copy/paste here if so desired) that clearly indicate that we are to be focusing our thoughts, and therefore our actions, on things that are good rather than things that are evil.

Phillipians 4:8-9 "8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthymeditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."

It is clear to me that we ought to be focusing our time and energy thinking and in turn doing the things that we know our Father in Heaven would want us to. In all things remember to do the following.

Phillipians 4:4-7 "4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
 
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Thanks Jealot. Those were some great thoughts!

silverleaf said:
It doesn't matter if you express it in one powerword or a thousand milder ones, the intention is you still want that person to drop dead and die this instant, and that's wrong. So I don't think swearing is any worse than saying "go and die". As long as people continue to get angry enough to lose it, malicious talk will never end.

You're right, Jesus taught that there is no difference between malice in our heart and murder. But you're blurring a line between a fictional character and the real you.

If you were writing a story about a prostitute that lived with a drug lord, you'd have to write carefully so that you could keep it realistic without dropping a bunch of swearing. And if you wanted to tell about how she got out of the situation and turned to Christ, it'd be a great tale that would require a lot of her thoughts. But they don't have to be profane to be realistic. You could write about how the drug lord thinks that murder is just part of natural selection or...part of the job, and how the prostitute thinks that casual sex is just a source of pleasure, no worse than eating your favorite desert.

But careful cuts to other characters interactions or what the character is thinking (which may be close, but not always the same as what someone is saying). Anyway, with writing, you have time to go through an extensive editing process, so you have time to take out profanity and direct lewdness, replacing it with inferred or referenced actions/thoughts/words, instead.

There's an expression my dad used to say... "he swore like a sailor"... now, my dad used that to indicate that someone cussed a lot. He never told me what the words actually were, but he got the point across. It's easy enough to use expressions like this.

Here's another example...and from real life. I was at a restaurant last night with my wife. Another guest at our table was absolutely obnoxious. She was so upset that she went into a tired and used a lot of profanity. Because of this, her husband got embarrassed enough to leave. Other guests were covering their children's ears. (you see, I don't have to tell you what exactly she said, just describe the scenario and let you fill in the details yourself)
 
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