Reach Guild Wars For Christ [WWJD] and Bonita Clement

DZwart

DZwart

Legacy of Elijah Officer
Tonight, as anyone who logged on knows, Bonita Clement verbally and repeatedly commented on her dissatisfaction about [WWJD] joining our alliance.

First, let me pass on the reason that she shared for this. She used to be a member of another guild with the tag [wwjd]. They kicked her and refused to let her rejoin. She then joined our alliance. She stated that seeing the [WWJD] tag causes her pain because of that situation.

She repeatedly demanded that [WWJD] be kicked from the alliance since she was "here first." After several attempts both in PM and alliance chat to calm here, nothing seemed to do anything to appease her since I told her that I was not going to punish this [WWJD] for any harm done to her by someone with the same name.

Eventually, since she would not stop ranting in alliance chat or even turn caps lock off, I started warning her that she needed to stop and after over an hour, I kicked her from [SOE]. This was not an easy decision and will bother me unless the situation is resolved.

She obviously has a lot of pain in her life and I told her several times that I would pray for her. I am asking you to do the same. Pray that she can give up this pain to Christ and find a way to forgive those who hurt her.

I informed her that if she can discuss this situation in a calm, respectable manner here, I will happily re-invite her to [SOE].

Thank you,
Derk
 
What did I do wrong?

I was calm. I asked if any officers were on earlier, after I saw the tag WWJD in ally chat. I calmly talked to Josh (I throwpebbles at U) about this. He suggested I talk to Loew Krug. Krug was not on, so I found another officer. Total, I talked to three officers before Krug, and remained calm through most of the conversation. I am very disturbed at what happened. I had a bad expierance and am still having a bad expierance with a WWJD alliance, and SoE was an escape from that. Until yesterday, there was no wwjd in ally chat. I have NO problem with the people in wwjd, only the tag name. the tag name brings on much pain, hurt, and tension. It is NOT and NEVER was the people in the guild or the guild itself. It was ONLY the tag name. That is why I referred to the tag name so much, and not as much the actual guild. I wanted to and tried to differinciate between the two. I am just tired of always being hurt

SOE is a cool guild, and for the most part, SoE is a cool alliance. I was really beginning to feel at home here and getting to know the people a little, like Josh and Raven. I want to stay in the alliance, but it hurts too much to see the tag name wwjd. I did nothing to deserve this additional pain being caused to me. I did nothing for the tag name, wwjd, to follow me into this brand new and good and cool alliance, but it did. I think that something should be done about it. If it comes down to it, why can't the tag name be changed and I supply ALL the needed supplies?
 
The tag is part of the guild's name. and to quote from the wiki:
It is important to note that you cannot change the name of a guild after creation under any circumstances.
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To change the name would mean totally disbanding the guild, recreating it under a different name and reinviting everyone. That coupled with the fact that there are probably more than a couple members who don't log in often (or are taking a short/long break) means that totally recreating a guild would cause total and utter chaos to nearly everyone involved. As such the tag is not, under any circumstances, going to be changed as long as the guild is around.

Also, hiding from the pain is never. Ever. A good thing. If it really is giving you as much pain as you say, it is something that needs to be taken up immediately with God as well as getting together with a good solid Christian you know (preferably a pastor) and praying about it. The next step would be learning to let it go. The past is the past, and holding on to parts of it like that is unhealthy, especially considering what it is (a guild tag). One of the best ways to let it go would be learning to associate [wwjd] as the excellent people from this guild instead of that other guild. Talk to them, make friends with them, play with them. Learn to love them -and their guild, just like Jesus would.
 
Bonnie, I have to agree with Elader. A guild tag is a permanent part of that guild. Changing it is not an option nor is kicking a guild that has done nothing wrong.

WWJD is an acronym for What Would Jesus Do. If simply seeing those letters is causing you pain, then I strongly recommend that you talk to your pastor or another Christian adult that you know and trust. Perhaps they can help you in ways that we cannot.

I don't know Sarah or her guildmates very well, but they seem like nice Christian players and I look forward to getting to know them better. I also hope that you will apologize to them and put this behind you. They don't hold any anomosity towards you and will welcome you back to the alliance. I hope you will accept their friendship.
 
As i regret not being there i feel the way it was handled was the best possible way at the time from the information i have received about the incident. I also agree with raven i feel that it is of great importance that you talk to a strong christian or a pastor about these feelings and that you should spend some time in prayer about this, and the feelings you have, and ask God to help you with them. Also i feel that you should apologize not only to wwjd but also should you be allowed back in alliance (not saying you will), to the alliance as well. Bonita as you know i care about you and want to help you all i can, but i cannot condone your actions nor your outburst.
God Bless,
Cameron
 
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What did I do wrong?

So, I was just minding my own business, and the tag WWJD had to follow me into this alliance. I helped people, was nice and kind. Now, doing nothing wrong, I have to be tortured continually? This is not right. I did NOTHING wrong to get hurt AGAIN.
 
Bonita we aren't trying to hurt you. The people who made WWJD did not make that tag in order to hurt you. They did it in order to give God glory. You did nothing wrong, but you are asking for too much. I have to go right now but i'll follow up on this
 
Bonita I really have nothing to add except that you need to talk to an adult that can help you. You aren't listening to anything we say so it's pointless to continue arguing. You are torturing yourself and hurting others. I'm sorry you can't see that.
 
You say you are not tyring to hurt me, but that is what it seems like. I was calm to a couple/few officers, and nothing was being done. The pain continued. If the pain had not continued, I would not have blown up. You guys keep saying you are not tyring to hurt me, but what do you think you are doing when I calmly express hurt and pain and you throw it to the wind and don't care? If the couple/few officers I chatted with calmly didn't care, then why should I believe everyone else does? especially since all you guys are doing is prolonging the pain.
 
I don't mean to sound like a jerk or anything, I already forgave and forgot past events that where unpleasant. I understand how a Tag can remind you of past events, but making people suffer because you don't like a guild and that you cannot resolve these issues with them should not be our problem.

We are not trying to hurt you by inviting a totally different guild in, we aren't trying to hurt you by telling you that we aren't kicking a guild because of your issues. We are just trying to resolve this in a calm, civilized manner. What we say, we say with compassion and understanding.

From what I see, you have two options
1. Seek closure with the previous guild, or get help in trying to resolve problems.
2. Forgive and forget about your past.
3. Forget about our alliance?

Oh, and if you don't mind me asking, why did the previous alliance not let you back in?
 
Bonita can you please explain to us why the [WWJD] tag offends you and "causes you pain". I believe there may be something we are missing. I assume the phrase "What Would Jesus Do" is not the issue and if it is I must agree with The Raven and you will need to seek out help/guidance from a pastor or authority in your church.

-Prophet Elhanan
 
Bonita, now I'm not saying you weren't, but from what I have heard from other people it wasn't as calm as you made it out to be. For about a month know we have known that WWJD would be in fact joining our Alliance. It would be rude and hurtful to all of us (SoE, Alliance, WWJD) to kick them out or reject this. We are not trying to punish you. We did not mean for this to hurt you. We did not conspire and plan this out to give you pain. There is too much pain in the world and we are trying to help through our fellowship and God's work through us.

Bonita said:
but what do you think you are doing when I calmly express hurt and pain and you throw it to the wind and don't care?
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Bonita we do care, that is why you are allowed to post in here, why you are allowed to join the guild again, and why we are praying for you. We do care. We want to help you. But your solution is going to hurt all of us.

Bonita said:
I did nothing to deserve this additional pain being caused to me. I did nothing for the tag name, wwjd, to follow me into this brand new and good and cool alliance, but it did.
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Did Jesus deserve dying for our sins? Do we deserve to fellowship with God once we die, even tho we since constantly?? We don't deserve anything in our lives. Instead of looking at this from YOUR perspective, try looking at it through God's. Maybe this is how God wants you to heal this pain. God does not want us to feel bad or hurt, but He works in ways we can't understand. Maybe this is a way for you to get over those hurts and move on. Cause everyone here will agree with me that the letters W-W-J-D are not going away. They are not being deleted out of the alphabet. They are not going to be banned by law to be put in that order. People will still have bumper stickers and wristbands with WWJD on it. So if you feel pain when you see that letter combo, than you need to get over it, because its not going away. Not in Guild Wars, not in the World.

God is working in our Alliance, He is working in you. Look at your past mission trip. You said you hated flying and were terribly afraid. But you did it. You said GOD did it. So let God do this. Let him heal you and take the pain away. Take a break for a week or two. Talk to him. Give Him your burdens and run. Be free. He is the one that heals us and makes us whole again. He is the one that will take your pain for you. Trust Him to make you feel better
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

~ Proverbs 3:5, NLT
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Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.

~ Ephesians 5:17, NLT
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Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.

~ Luke 6:37, NLT
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It makes me sad that when I log on you aren't there to say hello 5 seconds after the screen loads. I want you to come back to SOE. Like you said, you help people and are a major part of the guild. We all want you to come back, and we want you to not feel any pain or hurt. Which is why we are praying for you. So take a break and talk to Him. Find out what He wants you to do.
 
This whole situation has been on my mind today despite being at an amusement park with my family. Along with the fact that I'm insisting on re-typing this after a browser crash and how late it is along with all those who have posted here with a genuine interest in helping you as a sign that we DO care for you Bonita. I wanted to make this point clearly.

Second, I want to thank you for posting here to continue to allow us an opportunity to talk to you and, God willing, resolve the situation. Thank you to everyone for keeping all posts on topic and respectful.

Next, I want to point out what I suggested last night and several have posted here. Your pain is very real and strong and you need help beyond what those of us here can help with just the few words and knowledge of you personally that we have. Nothing done within the membership of our alliance will help, Only God can help ease your pain. Prayer is your first step, talk to God. Know that we are also praying for you.

Others have also suggested talking to a pastor or trusted spiritual advisor. With what I have seen, I think this is also something you should seriously consider. If you need any help explaining the mechanics of the game or anything else in this virtual world to this person, let me know and I will see what I can do.

Finally, I'm very tired and it's VERY late (2:19AM). I will send you a PM through the forums here about the status of your membership in [SOE] tomorrow afternoon. At this point, I think that is a topic between you and I only and not a matter of public discussion.
 
Bonita Clement said:
I have NO problem with the people in wwjd, only the tag name. the tag name brings on much pain, hurt, and tension....I am just tired of always being hurt
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Bonita, I am sorry you're hurting. Having had a pastor turn on Paul and I in the past, I can understand that hurt. I'll be praying for you to find peace and relief from your emotional pain.

However, this is something you will have to work through if you are ever going to experience peace again. WWJD isn't just the tag of a new guild in our alliance; it's a very popular phrase in Christian culture as a whole, representing a powerful question: What would Jesus do?

You will never be able to avoid the acronym unless you isolate yourself from the Christian culture as a whole. Even if we kicked Reach Guild Wars For Christ and forced them to re-form with a new guild tag, it wouldn't solve anything. People have used WWJD in character names before, and I've seen it in guild, alliance, and local chat. We cannot reasonably forbid everyone anywhere in the alliance using the phrase any time you may be online.

Bonita Clement said:
I want to stay in the alliance, but it hurts too much to see the tag name wwjd. I did nothing to deserve this additional pain being caused to me. I did nothing for the tag name, wwjd, to follow me into this brand new and good and cool alliance, but it did.
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You haven't done anything to deserve pain. But Reach Guild Wars For Christ hasn't done anything to deserve total upheaval to their guild, either. They chose their guild tag for a reason, because of a message they want proclaimed everywhere they go: What would Jesus do? It would be unfair of us tell them they have to change it or else leave the alliance.

Bonita, I know you are hurting. God has given us a fellowship of believers to help each other. I strongly encourage you to find an older, reliable Christian to work with to help you overcome your pain. It may take talking to a few different people to find someone who can help you work through it with God, but I believe that if you're willing God will allow. It probably won't be instant, but give it a chance. Try talking to your pastor, an elder or deacon at your church, or just an experienced older Christian you trust. If you're in school, try a college minister or youth group leader.

Regardless, I'll be praying for you.
 
Bonita Clement said:
Well, it seems I am not allowed back into this alliance. Tis sad to be gone, but what can I do? I am powerless.
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Bonita, I have discussed this with you and you DO have a course of action to rejoin [SOE]. However, YOU have refused to even consider it. I will continue to pray for God to soften your heart and help you see this from my point of view.
 
Bonita,
I wasn't there when this happened, and I know when you carry pain, talking with the source of that pain can cause it to be worse, but we must be strong!
I am currently, and have recently gone through so much pain in my life, and all I can do is wait and pray. The emotional burden weights me down with invisible weight that becomes so heavy I fall down. This pain has gone on 90 days or so, and will continue until to grow and hurt until the person I wronged wants to talk. God tells me to wait, and he won't mend the pain, but will help me carry it. The pain will grow for how ever more long, could be days, or weeks, I don't know and am praying for everyday.
I don't know your pain, I don't know how painful it is, but I do know, that relying on God, trusting God, following God, and asking God to help you will make it much easier, but there may still be pain, but it will make it easier.
With as much pain as you have, you must have God help you, and have a few good friends to be around. Spend time, rely, put your faith, hope, and trust in God.
There will be pain, there will always be pain in life, but try to focus on the good things in life. Remember the good things about the guild that hurt, and if you find none, then remember that God can make all things new. Life isn't easy, it never will be, but God will help you so much.
 
Bonita contacted me in game tonight. She has apologized and has asked to be readmitted. I have asked her to post her apology here. Please welcome her back.
 
I apologize for the way I acted. I was upset and mad took it out on you guys. I need to stop and intend to. I do not anticipate this happening again. I am sorry.
 
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