Not sure what to make of this.

D

Davfor

New Member
I know I don't post much on there. I haven't been gaming much with summer and all. Anyhue, I need to know if anyone else would have some inspirational thought about this.

Say you knew a girl many many years ago. The 2 of you were pretty close but both of you had to move away. As time went by and the distance was far, the relationship was getting strained. Then she says she met someone and was thinking of dating him. But she wanted to tell you before she did. You both love each other very much but know it is probably for the best. Then she calls a long time later asking for your permission/blessing to marry that guy she met. And you said "Ok"...knowing you should have said NO!

Fast forward 12 years. You suddenly think about her. All your feelings, emotions, love for her hit you like a truck and lasts for days. There was nothing to remind you of her. It just happened and now you cannot sleep.

But you find her in any search web-engine but the trail runs cold. Oh, and you find in a search she isn't married now. Also, why now and all of a sudden? You have married too but the marriage didn't work out. Didn't date for years and not looking now. What do you do? Pray yes. A lot of praying but what is so weird now is that every woman doesn't measure up to the one that "got away". Probably the reason why you didn't want to date for years?
 
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From a ladies perspective here. Do you not think that you are needed now? Why else would something come over you so strongly?

God has His perfect timing and purpose for everything. Perhaps you both needed to make your mistakes so that in the end you would have a happy life.

Since neither of you are attached, what's the harm in trying to just catch up and become friends again. With all of the social sites out there now, I bet it would be easy to do so. She may just have been praying for you to come back into her life, but doesn't feel confident enough to reach out especially since she was the one who asked you if she could date, marry, etc.

Reaching out you will either get a no, a quick catch up, or something better. I think you owe it to yourself and God, since there seems to be nothing in the way, to give it a shot to see what happens.

Keep praying and follow your heart.



Blessings and Hugs, "Angel"
 
Basically I agree with Litsa too, but one additional thing I will advise in your seeking direction from the Lord is that there is a difference between something being laid on your heart to prepare for or to actually pursue and it's really important to make sure you are clear on which direction God means.

There are times people are given advance notice of something that isn't meant to come to fruition right away so that they can prepare and be in the place God wants them to be when it happens. Sometimes it's also to give them motivation or something to look forward to to get through some difficult times ahead, or to keep them from pursuing more immediate things that would be incompatible with what God wants to give. However, it's possible for someone to get so excited about God's intentions that they mistake the directive to prepare as sanction to begin pursuit ouside of God's timing which can cause some problems to result.

Of course, only God can tell you what direction He is wanting you to go in here so maybe this advice is applicable or maybe it's not. It's just my own bit of perspective of something to watch out for.
 
Thankfully, I have a really great friend that did say the same thing. I guess what has been eating at me is that I have been praying for clarity about this but no "reply". I totally agree with you RiverTigress. I don't want to mistake this for something else. The best part about this is my mother. I had to go over to see her and ask her what she thinks about this. Of course, her first words are what I did the first though of my lost love came into my heart. Pray about it. She smiled and knew I did but just in case. Anyhue, she then said what you all have said. Go for it. Look for her. But also be patient. That is my downfall is waiting. :)

I do know that right now, there isn't any other woman like her that I could feel this way about. Was talking to a friend of mine and watching some pre-season football (Was hoping SD would get it!) and he was talking about the cheerleaders. Normally, I would make a comment too but this time was very different. Of course, that just could be all in my head too. :D

BTW, she is not on any social network nor any new listings. I did make a Facebook account (even though I don't like Facebook) and put in the bio who I am looking for. Don't think that will help but just maybe?

If I haven't said it, thank you for not kicking my post. This is my second most important thing in my life, to contact her again. (The first is Christ.)
 
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So maybe someone will say a "I told you so" or something to be made of this. I did find her. And she wrote me back.

She is married. Has children. Remembers me but not much. Doesn't remember much of what we did together, etc. So, now I am praying for direction what to reply with. Its good to hear that she has married and has children. But how to do talk to someone you have feelings for still but is married but don't want to just say "Ok cool, see ya..."? She is excited to hear from someone in her past. Still confused to why I would have this need to find her only to find out all this? Very confused indeed.
 
Davfor, I don't know all the whatnots of your "need to find her" or your motivation to find this long-lost person, but you did find her. She is married and has a life. You can praise God and let her know you are happy for her.

If you are not happy for her - then you need to check your motivations and this "need."

If you have a burning desire to open your heart and share your feelings - then it is not her well-being but your own desires that you hold dearest. That is what the Bible calls defrauding - you being a temptation to her.

I'm responding to your post for two reasons:

1) You sound like you really are trying to figure out what God wants you to do.

2) I have seen this so many times - a person has a gut feeling, so they think it must be right even when it is contrary to God's word or best for the person.

Don't go by your feelings - unless those feelings are consistent with God's word. Do the right thing no matter what your feelings may be.

There is nothing wrong with trying to track down a long lost friend or love. But, to then say or do anything that would jeopardize that persons happiness and God's plan for their life is terribly wrong.
 
Davfor said:
So maybe someone will say a "I told you so" or something to be made of this. I did find her. And she wrote me back.

She is married. Has children. Remembers me but not much. Doesn't remember much of what we did together, etc. So, now I am praying for direction what to reply with. Its good to hear that she has married and has children. But how to do talk to someone you have feelings for still but is married but don't want to just say "Ok cool, see ya..."? She is excited to hear from someone in her past. Still confused to why I would have this need to find her only to find out all this? Very confused indeed.
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That sounds very painful to have to experience, not just in the situation itself, but even moreso that you went about it in the right way by going to God about it first and seeking counsel just to have it lead to this. It's not in God's nature to want to carelessly hurt us for no reason though. Perhaps, considering the difference between your feelings and hers, maybe this is a necessary experience for you to have to go through to gain some closure of this past so that you can go with your life and be able to accept other things He may want to give you in the present or the future, but only God Himself can tell you the answer to that.
 
Abba San said:
Davfor, I don't know all the whatnots of your "need to find her" or your motivation to find this long-lost person, but you did find her. She is married and has a life. You can praise God and let her know you are happy for her.

If you are not happy for her - then you need to check your motivations and this "need."

If you have a burning desire to open your heart and share your feelings - then it is not her well-being but your own desires that you hold dearest. That is what the Bible calls defrauding - you being a temptation to her.

I'm responding to your post for two reasons:

1) You sound like you really are trying to figure out what God wants you to do.

2) I have seen this so many times - a person has a gut feeling, so they think it must be right even when it is contrary to God's word or best for the person.

Don't go by your feelings - unless those feelings are consistent with God's word. Do the right thing no matter what your feelings may be.

There is nothing wrong with trying to track down a long lost friend or love. But, to then say or do anything that would jeopardize that persons happiness and God's plan for their life is terribly wrong.
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This is why I posted here. After praying about this everyday, I was moved to ask more help from people that know God. I am still a baby Christian and when it comes to matters of the heart, I too am young even though I am older.

Your response hits me directly. Thank you. This helps me a lot. Interesting fact, what you said is what I though of today as well. Being new in God's family and relationships being my weak point, just shows me how sin doesn't go away. This is a learning point in my way I see. To watch those weak points in my life and what to look out for.

I didn't respond to her yet because I wanted to know what my motivations were. And you are right. Now I must take some time to make sure what to say and that it isn't for devious reasons. I cannot thank you all enough for your help on this!
 
RiverTigress said:
That sounds very painful to have to experience, not just in the situation itself, but even moreso that you went about it in the right way by going to God about it first and seeking counsel just to have it lead to this. It's not in God's nature to want to carelessly hurt us for no reason though. Perhaps, considering the difference between your feelings and hers, maybe this is a necessary experience for you to have to go through to gain some closure of this past so that you can go with your life and be able to accept other things He may want to give you in the present or the future, but only God Himself can tell you the answer to that.
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It is truly amazing how God works. He goes farther than the surface of a problem, event, a troubling time in a persons life. And what I have learned more and more...there is no coincidence's. Only reasons. Thank you too. :)
 
Just a thought, but you could use this opportunity to witness. Tell her you've been saved, and thoughts of her were brought to rememberance, and you wanted to make sure she's had the opportunity to hear the gospel.
 
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