Non-offensive joke.

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|CoR|Braveheart

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Billy Bob's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine and your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jF-yU7Rq2XQ
 
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A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss asks, "What happened to your ears?"

He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron."

The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"

He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"
 
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I really liked the youtube video, but the jokes are yawners... sorry Braveheart.

By-the-by, is that why your old thread got deleted. I see the title of this is "non-offensive joke." Which leads me to believe you posted an offensive one. And considering your last thread was deleted with a note saying, "Have some circumspect," I can only put 1 and 1 together to get a window.
 
tjguitarz said:
I really liked the youtube video, but the jokes are yawners... sorry Braveheart.

By-the-by, is that why your old thread got deleted. I see the title of this is "non-offensive joke." Which leads me to believe you posted an offensive one. And considering your last thread was deleted with a note saying, "Have some circumspect," I can only put 1 and 1 together to get a window.
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It was a Blonde joke, it was a little racist but not bad...but like i have said; in every joke some one laughs, someone yells.
 
Cloud G said:
This a lawyer joke and was told to me by one....
A cop sat and watched as a guy ran through a stop sign. He turned on hos lights, and quickly pulled the guy over. The guy just happened to a lawyer, and a smug one at that. He decided to use his wit and argumentative skill to get out of the ticket. the officer can to the window, and asked why the guy had run the stop sign. To which the guy replied "Officer, I slowed down. What's the difference?".
OFFICER: "Slowing down is not stopping, sir"
LAWYER: "Well, if you can prove to me the difference between slowing down and stopping, I'll pay the ticket right here and now"

At this point, being quite annoyed, the officer asked the guy to step out of his car. As the man did so, the office took out his night stick and commenced to beating the man. After a bit, he stopped and said "Now, do you want me to stop, or slow down?"
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hahahaha, that is so wrong though...
 
Cloud G said:
This a lawyer joke and was told to me by one....
A cop sat and watched as a guy ran through a stop sign. He turned on hos lights, and quickly pulled the guy over. The guy just happened to a lawyer, and a smug one at that. He decided to use his wit and argumentative skill to get out of the ticket. the officer can to the window, and asked why the guy had run the stop sign. To which the guy replied "Officer, I slowed down. What's the difference?".
OFFICER: "Slowing down is not stopping, sir"
LAWYER: "Well, if you can prove to me the difference between slowing down and stopping, I'll pay the ticket right here and now"

At this point, being quite annoyed, the officer asked the guy to step out of his car. As the man did so, the office took out his night stick and commenced to beating the man. After a bit, he stopped and said "Now, do you want me to stop, or slow down?"
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Dude, that is insulting...cops don't do that.
 
[toj.cc]phantom;257082 said:
That's a great joke, blonde jokes are just really lame and out of date. Besides blonde jokes aren't RACIST unless blondes are a race...if so then where do they come from?
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They are stereotypes, which is also offensive if directed.

Of course, this saying can also be offensive since it is directed.

"You, Christians!"
 
|CoR|Braveheart said:
Dude, that is insulting...cops don't do that.
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Cops are evil people. Very very evil people. People aren't supposed to FEAR cops, but they do. Cops are supposed to be the protectors of the people. Instead, everyone is afraid of them. They don't do their job. They are evil.

But I liked that 'slow down or speed up' bit. Classic.
 
tjguitarz said:
Cops are evil people. Very very evil people. People aren't supposed to FEAR cops, but they do. Cops are supposed to be the protectors of the people. Instead, everyone is afraid of them. They don't do their job. They are evil.
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Christians are a lot like that too.

Edit: I just want to make a clarification.

First of all, a broad stereotypical statement directed at any group is nearly always incorrect. I work with a lot of police officers, and I meet with them on a weekly basis and have needed to rely on them at times. I've come to like most, if not all, of them.

I understand the negative vibe many people get from the police, but most don't understand just how difficult their job is. It's a practically thank-less job, and they deal with people all the time with condescending attitudes and feel the need to verbally express their distaste to them. They nearly always work in negative environments, such as when dealing with complaints from residents and such. It's very hard to have a cheery or easy attitude in that line of work.

Please, lighten up and offer some encouragement. I'm sorry if you've been mistreated by the police before, or know of any friends who have. I'm also sorry for anyone who's been mistreated by Christians.
 
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tjguitarz said:
Cops are evil people. Very very evil people. People aren't supposed to FEAR cops, but they do. Cops are supposed to be the protectors of the people. Instead, everyone is afraid of them. They don't do their job. They are evil.

But I liked that 'slow down or speed up' bit. Classic.
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My dad is a cop.
 
Just need more guys like these, and the world would be a much better place.

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