Life...that thing that goes on between sessions of Guild Wars.

aka Ash

aka Ash

New Member
We have alot of intelligent and wise people, with a good sense of humor. So on that note I wanted to start a thread where we could impart observations about life, tidbits of wisdom, and combine our knowledge of things, with a little humor added in.

(yes...another thread that we will check 5 times a day...haha.)


Observation:
Income taxes are a scam. We pay the government for the privelege of working.
Wow, Thanks Guys, I appreciate it Uncle Sam.
And the beauty of it is the more we make, the bigger percentage we pay. Isn't that nice?
 
aka Ash said:
Observation:
Income taxes are a scam. We pay the government for the privelege of working.
Wow, Thanks Guys, I appreciate it Uncle Sam.
And the beauty of it is the more we make, the bigger percentage we pay. Isn't that nice?
Click to expand...

im tellin you the government is out to get us, there using mutant mouse spies ready to crawl up the sewers to assassinate all the other leaders to rule the world, taxes are just fo funding
 
I'll respectfully disagree on the taxes issue (both that it's a scam and that it increases the more you make), but being from Canada I'll naturally have a different perspective on that issue.

Other nibblets of knowledge I've learned:
- Jealousy works in the exact opposite way than you want it to
- Worrying solves nothing...
- ...and neither does complaining; either act or forget about it
- Material luxuries are best enjoyed in small doses
- The little things count. Always.
- For city dwellers: When you catch a strangers eye, don't avert your eyes. Smile instead, and be open to life's little moments of connection with your fellow humans and city in which you live. You'll be surprised at how much better this will make you feel...and how often people will smile back.
- Cell phones are a social nuisance...but a necessary evil (in some situations)
- Traveling alone helps foster a new perspective
 
Shagz said:
I'll respectfully disagree on the taxes issue (both that it's a scam and that it increases the more you make), but being from Canada I'll naturally have a different perspective on that issue.

Other nibblets of knowledge I've learned:
- Jealousy works in the exact opposite way than you want it to
- Worrying solves nothing...
- ...and neither does complaining; either act or forget about it
- Material luxuries are best enjoyed in small doses
- The little things count. Always.
- For city dwellers: When you catch a strangers eye, don't avert your eyes. Smile instead, and be open to life's little moments of connection with your fellow humans and city in which you live. You'll be surprised at how much better this will make you feel...and how often people will smile back.
- Cell phones are a social nuisance...but a necessary evil (in some situations)
- Traveling alone helps foster a new perspective
Click to expand...

Great Advice Shagz...

Here is some more...
---Never spit in the wind.
---Never tug on Superman's cape.
---Never pull down the mask of the Lone Ranger.
(did I show my age again?)


Never make fun of a bald man, he might call upon a she-bear to eat you.

(no I am not bald...got lots of hair and no gray :) yay, no gray hair and 6 kids, it is a miracle. It actually comes from not worrying much I believe, just as Shagz said, Don't worry or complain...act or forget it. I love that advice...)
 
ChickenSoup said:
Birds of a feather flock together... and crap on your car.
Click to expand...

I've noticed that birds *somehow* like to have restroom brakes *accidentally* on things that move below them... like cars...
or people walking under trees...

one time my Biology teacher was driving down the interstate and a flock of birds flew like two feet above the car and splashed their whole windshield down...

and that same teacher's neice was looking at a bird she thought was pretty (looking up with her mouth open) and it let loose in her mouth...
 
so Texas will once again have the Mexican flag flying over it, and also a flag which originated from immigrants out of France (Canada)... now all we need is Spain and the Confederate States of America (the "six flags" of Texas)
 
Observation: Texas People can't drive and the kill penguins...

J/K

Just read this...here is the first part of the article

4 penguins perish in freak Texas truck accident
Octopus unhurt, exotic fish not as lucky en route to temporary home

SAN ANTONIO, Texas - Twenty-one penguins were rescued on a hot east Texas highway on Tuesday after a truck carrying the wildlife to a temporary home south of Houston overturned, said a state trooper.
Four penguins and some exotic fish were killed in the accident, including three penguins that were hit by passing motorists, said Texas Department of Public Safety Trooper Richard Buchanan. “The rest of the penguins kind of stayed together in the ditch.”
The truck, also carrying an octopus that was uninjured, was bound for Moody Gardens, a tourist destination in Galveston, an hour south of Houston, a resort spokeswoman said.
 
you are correct Texans cannot drive :p. What is the difference between a Lawyer and a Texan lying in the middle of the road? There are Skid marks in front of the Lawyer. Sorry I live in Colorado where Texan and Lawyer jokes abound. I love Texans. Go Cowboys!! Go Spurs YAY!
 
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by
simply
using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
a
timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will
be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
forget
about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know
when
you might need them to empty your bedpan.
 
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