Here I repent against my sins..

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Little bit about myself.  I've been a Christian for three years in high school, and a year after graduation now studying in a community college, I've been stepping further and further away from God.  Not only have I been watching a lot of porn, playing games and watching television shows and movies of witchcraft, and worshipping other gods (even went to a Buddhist temple), I am an adulterer, hiring escorts for my own sexual desires.  I'm disgusted by myself, and here I repent against my sin, God, Jesus Christ our Lord.  


Questions I'd like to be answered:

1) I'm too shy to go to Church.  Worshippers there are friendly, but due to the fact that I'm somewhat anti-social, I find their over (not sure if this is the right word to use but you get what I mean) friendliness to be a little intimidating.  What should I do to find the courage to go there with my heart's consent?  

2) I've been Buddhist for a year, and my parents seemed rather proud when I became one.  I know that the only right path is the one with God, but now, I feel a great sense of guilt.  How do I just get over it? I'm also afraid that I'd dissapoint my parents.

3) I'm Chinese.  When I go to visit my grandpa's grave, it is a tradition that we should use incense.  If I refuse to use it, my parents get very emotional and infuriated.  What should I do?


From this, you can tell that I've been rather weak mentally.  Now that I had repented, I feel a lot better.  Now I should avoid everything that opposes Christian nature, and follow Christ.  Thank you all for reading this, and, if you did, answering my questions. May God be with you all.
 
I'll be praying for you. It sounds like you're going through a hard time.

I can really only clearly answer the first issue. I'm also shy and very introvertive, and the only way I can get over it is to force myself into uncomfortable situations of a social ilk. Please realize that isolating yourself will only make it worse. Go in with a smile and willingness to meet people. It may not make you sociable per se, but it will make such daunting situations a lot easier to handle.
 
Greetings Charles, and welcome.

First of all, I praise God that you have made your confession and returned.  I'm also very encouraged that you have the faith to believe that despite all the things you have done that have caused you to fall further away from Christ you believe that with your heartfelt confession that all sins are forgiven.  You are, of course, correct.  Our God is a loving, forgiving God and we rejoice with him that you, his prodigal son, has returned home.  
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As for your questions:
1) My advice on the first one would be to meet privately with the pastor of a local Christ-centered church of your choice.  There are certainly a number of denominational choices available and while there are certain issues on which many of us here would disagree, I think we would all agree that your choice of church should be Christ-centered, Biblically-based, and capable of supporting you in your walk with Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior.  Meeting with the pastor privately, you could let him (or her) know what your situation is so that he can help you come up with a positive path toward action.  You should be prepared to challenge some of the areas outside of your comfort zone, though.  Maintaining your faith within a church family is especially important and as you become part of that family you will gain the strength to face some of your other challenges.

To your second question: I would find this one to be the toughest of the three.  I understand the guilt and indecision you face with regards to your parents - at least to some minor extent.  Your Chinese background definitely brings some religious baggage with it.  While I am certainly not Chinese, I have spent some time in Taiwan and have at least seen a little of what a Buddhist-heavy culture looks like.  In my case, it was much easier because I was moving from one Christian denomination to another, but my father was still firmly convinced that if I tried to leave his home with that decision that the Lord would send a lightning bolt to stop me (literally! He even warned me to wear rubber-soled shoes if I truly intended to leave!  
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).  In your case, once you have spoken with a pastor and committed yourself to a Christian community (and thus have the Christian support system to help you through facing your parents), you need to sit down with your parents (or, specifically your father if your family has a traditional Chinese organizational structure - but your mother may be more willing to support your decision even if she's unwilling to publicly challenge your father about it) and explain to them what you are doing and why.  They will most likely not approve and may seem very disappointed, but no one ever died from disappointment and they will, in time, come to accept you for who you are (or they won't, but that doesn't make your decision any less clear).

Finally, the third thing: I know that Buddhism uses the incense in its prayers to the Buddhas.  As far as I could tell, the incense is a gesture of respect.  You need to determine how much further than that it goes.  If, by using the incense when visiting the grave of your grandfather, you feel that your family is elevating your grandfather to the level of a Buddha and praying to him and seeking his guidance as a guiding factor for your lives, then you may indeed have a religious conflict.  If it is merely a respectful gesture and does not detract from your faith in Christ, then I don't see the harm.  In the end, though, it's what you believe in your heart that matters.  *warning: personal statement of belief ahead* I am convinced that if you believe in your heart that a certain action will offend God and you do it anyway, that this thing is a sin for you regardless of what it is. While some things are sinful by their nature because they are clearly condemned by the Bible, other things are not so black and white.  If you can, through prayer and counselling with your pastor, come to the honest conclusion that lighting incense while visiting your grandfather's grave does not offend God, then I do not see a reason why you could not continue to do this.  However, if you cannot believe that in your heart and feel guilt and remorse each time you do it, then I think you need to stop.  Jesus sees your heart and loves you.  Remember that at all times since that message can both hurt and heal you.

The Lord's blessing be on you, Charles.  All of us here will pray for you and, should you wish it, with you.  We are called to be Christian brothers and sisters to you and I do not doubt that most here are up to the task.
 
Welcome, I'm glad to see you're here. A complete life turnaround is a rare thing to find and a hard thing to do. You'll have both my respect and my prayers for you.

I've also found going to some churches to be intimidating when people are too friendly. I completely understand that. All you have to remember is that these people are on your side. They're your new brothers and sisters, and will do everything they can to help you however you need it. Whenever someone opens up to you, open up to them. You'll make the best friends with the strongest common bond.

Just be cautious in choosing a church/denomination. Many churches you find will be good, but I've known some particularly tradition-oriented denominations that tend to scare people off more than draw them in (Don't want to offend anyone by mentioning names, but you'll know them when you see them).

I've not had much exposure to Buddhism, so I really don't know what to tell you about most of that except for what Tromos said: If you find it to conflict with your conscience, then stop. As for the incense, I know of nothing wrong with lighting incense in itself. In the Old Testament, it was even used in the temple. I guess it all depends what you're lighting it for.

God bless you, Charles, you've made the most important decision of your life, and it sounds like you want to stand by it. If you ever need to talk to someone about something, come here, or you can e-mail me at slam@slamcentral.com.
 
welcome, these guys above gave great advice. Remember God loves you no matter what you've done. He died for you! He is not ashamed and gladly took the penalty for all our sins. Isn't that great?

It's hard being a solo Christian, find others who share your beliefs and a good church is crucial.
 
I actually have studied Buddhism to some extent, I find it to be very fascinating and interesting. One of the most unique things about it is the central ideas and philosiphy is perfectly compatable with most other religions, including Christianity. There is no god figure, or clear afterlife, nor are you expected to worship. (There are exceptions in some parts of Asia, but they often are due to a blending of regional traditions and beliefs with Buddhism, as it is so open)
I'd say you shouldn't cast away your heritage and culture over this. Participating in Buddhist ceremonies probably doesn't go against Christianity anyway, any more than celebrating something like the 4th of July does. Both are cultural traditions.
 
I may not seem this way online, but I also feel somewhat intimidated in big groups, like at church. I don't know why, because I've been at this church for 7 years, going on 8. I know everyone. But I get really nervous when I show up on Sunday's. I'm totally fine in smaller groups, so that's why I always stuck with the youth program. The youth, although large group, was split into smaller groups, and one was for my age and up. It was a closer, smaller group and I felt better there. Maybe you could find a group like that, it's great.

As far as the buddhism goes, make Christ first in your life. Remember, it's not about tradition. It's about life. Tradition didn't save anyone, but believing in a future and striving for it, and pointing to it to others, now that's life. Jesus came down to tear the mask that was the tradition of the jews, and to reveal to them how they should LIVE. They weren't living, they were dying. Everyday find a new way to live. Read your bible, speak to God, strengthen your spirit. When you feel it, and you'll know how it feels, then go out and spread life to others as well.
 
MrMustard - no, Buddhism is not compatible with Christianity. it is not a cultural thing, it is a religion. remember, Siddhartha Gautama comsidered himself a Hindu (and remember, Buddhism is his version of it, because he wasn't satisfied with hinduism).

but this is another discussion topic. for now, all I want to say is, Charles... good job!
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Wow, thanks for the great advice everyone.  I can already tell that the Holy Spirit is truly in all of you.  Tromos, about the incense, my relatives usually says out loud wishes like "wish your education get's better" whenever I stick the incense into the ash of the bowl.  Is this against Christian faith? In this case, should I use the incense at all? Or can I just believe that I don't believe in these 'wishes' and only see the incense as a sign of respect? Thanks.
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Mr.Mustard, Buddhism has many conflicting views with Christianity.  First, they only believe in self enlightenment.  For Christians, it is an obligation to protect your family when they're in danger, but for a Buddhist, you don't do anything because you don't want to affect the "nature of being".  Second, there are two forms of Buddhism.  One actually believes that the Buddha is a god, while the other only believes in his philosophy and sees him as a moral leader (not a god).  Either way, there's nothing Christian about that.  

Not to offend you, but the fact that you see Buddhism as having many parallels with Christianity is because of the fact that they understand that the religion is one of the most popular and influential out there. Before I became a Christian again, me and my family went to a Buddhist monastery to have a chat with a few monks. One of the things they talked about the most is how often priests and Christians visit and share the same viewpoints. I don't know why any Christian would go there in the first place and even agree with their preaching, but it was what he said next that made me really suspicious. He started to talk about Buddha creating the world in seven days, heaven and h_ll, how our soul is neither male or female, and how we'd not have a physical body while we're in heaven. Basically, everything he said was exactly what I read in the Bible a year or so ago (back then). I remember doing a research a few weeks later about Buddhism, and I was pretty shocked to say the least. Nothing he said has anything to do with Siddartha Gautama's (Buddha) philosophy. So much about the monks being the 'wisest'. It was then that I started to see how Buddhists make believers out of Christians. They modify the religion, use the idea of creation and afterlife from the Bible, share stories about how Christians take Buddhism as a part of their life, and slowly lure innocent Christians over to their religion. I can say a little more, but Mr.Mustard, you get the idea. Just be careful OK?
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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Charles @ May 03 2003,6:38)]Wow, thanks for the great advice everyone.  I can already tell that the Holy Spirit is truly in all of you.  Tromos, about the incense, my relatives usually says out loud wishes like "wish your education get's better" whenever I stick the incense into the ash of the bowl.  Is this against Christian faith? In this case, should I use the incense at all? Or can I just believe that I don't believe in these 'wishes' and only see the incense as a sign of respect? Thanks.
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Glad you came back. Part of me worried that you would fear coming back to these boards and this thread. I'm happy that wasn't the case
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I can appreciate your question, but I'm afraid I can't give you the answer. Sorry
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I'm not a pastor. I have not had formal Biblicial training. I can appreciate your struggle - both the traditional side and the things you have repented for - because I have experienced much the same myself. But I don't have the right answer for your life. But God does and He wrote it down. Now its up to you to find it. The answer you seek is somewhere (probably many places) in the Word of God. I know that if you open that book and search for your answer, and if you get on your knees and pray and believe it will come, then remember to take the time to stop and listen, the Lord will tell you the right answer. He always has and He always will. James 5:16 tells us that "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." Believe it.

I wasn't sure before your last post whether you were in North America or still in Asia. I guessed the former because of your English skills, but I know many Chinese colleagues in China who speak and write excellent English. As for choosing Christianity over Buddhism, that should make it easier. For choosing Jesus over the sins of the flesh, it probably only makes it harder.

I will, of course, continue to pray that that Lord give you peace, wisdom, direction, and the answers you need to best glorify His holy name. I'm sometimes available during the day for chatting at any of the programs listed at the bottom of this post (ICQ, AIM, Yahoo, MSN).
 
Nobody is perfect, Chuck. Including me, the one who may push Christianity on people more than others, and the one who would shy from pushing it on others more than others.
We all sin. But it's great you've made this announcement. Though I got a couple questions as to your thoughts of what sin is...do you feel it's wrong against God and so try not to do it now? Like videogames (this is, uhh, the Christian GAMERS Alliance, after all, heheh). Some videogames are really bad. If they conflict with your relationship with God and you're pulling from them, rock on, dude!
Movies about witchcraft? Interesting...I've only seen a couple.
How, exactly, do you worship other gods? Did you indulge in your fleshly desires? Did you actually set yourself up and worship an icon of sorts, an idol? A rock? A tree? Nature? The soul of man? What is "worship other than God" mean to you?
It's great to see that someone actually takes a bound out of Christianity and struggles to return...perhaps my "apostate feelings" about such people who live in their external life apart from God are misplaced...perhaps not.

As to your questions...
1. I'm antisocial. Though I hang out with a lot of people. I'm mean to my friends, and worse to my enemies (yes, I have plenty o' those). The people at my church are all on the highway to the Reaper. Few youth remain, and a few middle-aged folk populate the elderly crowd. I have a friend there from when I was four. I've gone to my church for all my life. It's been up for over seventy years, and has gone through about seven or eight pastors.
I sit in the back with my friend, my brother and another friend, when he is there. We're perfectly fine there. I get with my close little group of buddies there and just hang out, listening to the preacher, or zoning out and reading my Bible there. I'm liking the small-group idea, though there ain't enough kids at my church FOR a small-group division.
If they're too friendly, you could just glare at them and yell out really loudly, "I'M HAVING A BAD DDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAY!" and rock back and forth with your arms hugged around your knees...
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2. One of the greats said it best (I believe his name was....Christ): "Is it better to serve God or to serve man?" Which one lasts forever? Your parents? Or your eternity? Don't look for approval in a place where you will find none. You have indeed made the right choice. For one, there is absolutely no comparison between the two walks of life. Buddhism is an antithesis to Christianity (as anyone who denies Christ the Lord is, in fact, antichrist). Sure, they may sugarcoat it a bit to tame down the attacks from the bulldog Christians, but their true doctrine is totally opposite what God says.
The guilt may never leave, though pray to God that it does. Sins are like nails: They are driven through the wood (your heart). They can remain there, or they can be taken out, but there are still scars. I'm sure your days of witchcraft won't be quickly forgotten, nor the porn vids, but they are removed from your life, though they leave scars.
3. Don't look to the ritual: look to the intent of the heart. Pay respects to dear old granddad. Americans put flowers. Chinese do incense. What's the difference? It's not against God, unless you worship what you do, or put it as an act of worship to your grandfather...trust me. If you want to talk more, PM me or something. I've got to hit the sack.

And yeah, Mustard, I don't know if you're confusing Buddhsim with something else, but there is virtually zero similarity between the two.
 
Charles

hehe ironic that you share my name my friend, and brother in Christ. I say the burning of incense is a sign of respect and even if YOUR family prays to him, you do not have to. I have did many things at the funeral for my grandmother, she was catholic and i am a Christian, different docterines. that i wouldnt do as a Xian BUT i did it out of ceremony and respect for her as a person not as a way to worship or disrespect God. I think PERSONVIEW!! that God would be happy that you are honoring your elders by showing your respect, and would not be angry with you as long as you kept it as a sign of respect and always keep Him first.
 
I know people who are Christian and still believe in many of the central philosiphies of Buddism. Saying that since they are both "religions" so therefore you cant believe both is a very closed minded way of looking at it. If you are talking about the original concepts of Buddhism, and not indivudual cultural adaptations of it, then it really doesn't compromise Christian beliefs. There is no creation story, no god figure, no clear afterlife, etc... I know Christians tend to be pretty strict about this (and many) things, but if you actually open your minds some, it is possible and its not such a bad thing.

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Quote[/b] ]First, they only believe in self enlightenment. For Christians, it is an obligation to protect your family when they're in danger, but for a Buddhist, you don't do anything because you don't want to affect the "nature of being".
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Thats taking the idea behind the nature of being too far, I dont think any buddhist would say that if someone in your family was on fire you shouldn't try to put it out.
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[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Second, there are two forms of Buddhism. One actually believes that the Buddha is a god, while the other only believes in his philosophy and sees him as a moral leader (not a god). Either way, there's nothing Christian about that.
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Seeing Buddha as a god isn't part of the central concept, more due to regional adaptations, so thats not what I'm talking about. As for him being a philisophical or moral leader, whats wrong with that? As long as his ideas dont violate Christianity, how is that unacceptable?
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Quote[/b] ]Not to offend you, but the fact that you see Buddhism as having many parallels with Christianity is because of the fact that they understand that the religion is one of the most popular and influential out there.
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You misunderstood, I wasn't saying they have parallels, I was saying that they don't contradict or violate eachother.
 
Bypassing this fool, to Mustard: well, I suppose in that case I could hug the nicer aspects of cannibalism, too, and still be Christian. Or I could also embrace the brighter philsophies of Satanism, too, but still believe in Jesus Christ...yes.
Charles, again: pay respect to your elders, just don't worship the thing. IN a minute, I'll get back to you.
 
Ultima,

Please try to refrain from using even abbreviated profanity here. You can make a point without compromsing the Christian image we try to maintain here.

Cory
 
Charles

First thing : Congrats for standing up and confessing publicly ..

[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Jam 5:16  Confess therefore your sins one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The supplication of a righteous man availeth much in its working.
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Secondly, may I make a quick point relating to sin. As you know, for the most part it is not about running away from the sin but running to Jesus and seeking Him as the source of Living Water. Trust me, if you seek Him and stay in His Word consistently then most of the battle against sin is won. Of course, there is a number of practical steps that you need to take to avoid problematic situations in your life but that only becomes easier (although possible) ... but first seek Him ... very simplified of course ....
 
You are right Cory. My fault for losing my cool.

Mmm. Never thought of it that way kasimir. Run from sin, but run to Jesus? I always figured it would be like this: resist the Devil, and he will flee. I wonder if it's the Christians who should run to the wing of God, or plant two feet on their Rock, draw their Sword, and combat against the devil so that HE will be the one to tuck tail and scamper off?
 
ultima

what I meant was : resist the devil and he will flee ... True ... but how do you resist him ... by turning to the Word and wielding scriptures (your Sword) like Jesus did when He was tempted in the desert.. and by praying the blood of Jesus over you and just by actively wearing the armor ofGod etc .... so in effect you are running to Jesus and asking the Father to protect you .... part of it is also the choice to actually fight .... sometimes , especially when you are still weak in a certain area of your life ... it is better not to try and fight but to run, let's use porn for an example. If you are figting against porn in your life the best way to fight is to run from it. Don't let it in your house or even in your sight, this doesn't mean that you are ignoring the issue, just being wise about it.
 
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