Help wife says WoW is evil

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garmin

New Member
Hello all. I truly need help. I have played Wow for 5-6 months since Nov 24th 2004.

She confronted me 3 months ago and said I should stop because it is evil and deals with magic and evil characters. I told her I did not agree that there are positive elements to MMOLRPG. It is fun to relax with and I even met some really great people in WOW even a Born again Christian. She said I was a bad witness to students and Christ in general. I play Alliance, no Warlock. Pally, 55 Priest 5, Mage 20. Aggramar server PVE. I miss my friends.

Needless to say I through the game away, dumped it off my hard drive and I want to play again or start DAoC.

HElp! advise please.

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Love your wife first which you have done by dumping the game, I applaud you for this decision as a brother in Christ. No activity under the sun should take precedence over your wife. As for the game, take it before the Lord ... seriously, if its an issue in your relationship, ask Him to change her heart or yours. One of you has to give in the long term. Giving you some logical based argument will not solve the problem your wife has with the game. All I can suggest is prayer.
 
I agree with Hawk. If your wife thinks the game is evil it is....

It is mostly evil because it takes her husband away from her. If her husband plays more than she thinks he should it takes away her trust in her husband.

Trust is one of the top three needs of wives. If she cannot trust you she cannot respect you. If she does not respect you, well you get the idea.

I say this with 14 years of marriage and 10 years of gaming during marriage behind it. IF the wife asks you to stop playing or does not like the game, stop, period the end. Your marriage will benefit more than playing the game will benefit you.
 
Thanks!

Thank you both! It was really hard early and you hit it on the head! to her it is evil. I thought the relationship with other Christians was a great part of MMOLRPG 's I did play 15 hours a week with some 5 hour late nights that ticked her off. I still would like to play very part time some RPG.

I have spoke to her and she is willing to talk. You are right "Icthus" about the trust thing. It would be so easy to log in again and play. I thought DAoC might be good. Wow at 55 is all instances and takes too much time to run MC and other. I really miss my friends. RL is good and I did not neglegt it or kids /Fam but your are right she felt slighted. Thanks for your prayers Hawk. I did play Pally and not Evil Char's Thanks. I did see myself wonder from the Lord for 3 of the months. Keep the posted to help ! PTL for you.
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Then PTL Garmin, a little wake up call is needed once in a while. I am thankful for men like you. You kinda lay it out and show us what is important and what is not, and making the right decision on what is really important in life. Seeing those Christ-like characters such as humbleness, gentleness and love is what makes CGA a great place to hang. If I may be so bold, you are thinking about a very part time in some RPG, I would like to make a few suggestions and take them to the Lord as they all have some pros/cons assocaited to them:

1. Do not play an on-line RPG, the temptation of getting into it more and more will only increase as your interest in the game increases which means you'll want more and that takes more time. Consider Dungeon Siege 2 or one of the newer non-online game RPGs which can still feed some of your RPG needs.

2. If you do decide on an on-line RPG, get an accountability partner (or two) who games with you to hold you to the hours you set up beforehand. What I am suggesting is being very intentional here, talk to your wife about the hours you should play and when you play and pass those along to someone you game with. That person can help you by reminding you when you have been on a bit too much. This person isn't your mother, you can still snow him/her by giving reasons why you can play longer but it is there for you as a safeguard, use it.

Continue to honor Him and your wife Garmin, thank-you for your example. I wish more men were honest with themselves and see how being an absentee husband/father doesn't mean you have to be absent physically from the house. Take care and God bless ya!
 
I would suggest if you are looking for another game to get back into you have two options that are really good.

1. Get her to play (I know this has already been said), But honestly she won't if she has issues with you at the computer too much,

2. Play a game that can pause... This is huge!! I would suggest a RTS or another game that would let you stop to help her or talk to her. Instead of having a group rely on you not to die (by the way, this arguement does not work well).
 
Back at you.

Thanks again. The urge is really hard somedays especially when you want to wind down and just grind some mobs for fun, or quest with a buddy. I think I would be too tempted to play WoW more or other online games. The interaction from you guys supports my idea that other Christian guys are good to play with.

My best friend in game played eq for 5 years and started wow. He quit wow at 40 level pally and 28 priest because he said it did not do anything for him. He went back to EQ to play casually.

I played Empires of the Modern age, and Age of Empires and expansion2. I like to play in the winter since the midwest is cold all through the season. Maybe Age 3 will be ok, not as much time suck but no interaction. That seems to be the draw for me.

We will see. I still e-mail and talk to 3 In game friends and they play less or not at all.one guy does the MC runs and tells me he only has 1 part of his valor set lol. It is too bad there can not be a happy medium. I wish I had a great bunch of guys like your guild. That truly is the hardest part of not playing. God Bless guys.

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I like the interaction too, but I have one thing to say:

"It is a mighty man of God who sacrifises his WoW for his wife!!!"

Honestly, I am kind of in a similar boat... all-to-often I double book my WoW time over my girlfriend time... this has resulted in sudden pulls out of dungeons.. so far it is a good thing that my guild/run-mates understand 'cuz I am sure some other guilds would have blacklisted me :P

It is a learning experience. All I can say is, it takes L33t guts to put a woman before a game.

Good on you, man. seriously.

Oh and... "I wish I had a great bunch of guys like your guild. That truly is the hardest part of not playing. God Bless guys." Feel free to spend your time on our forum.. It has been awesome talking with you :)
 
The main reason I started playing WoW was to understand what my son and husband were discussing. They both played WoW and I wanted to spend time with them....took me awhile to understand what the hubub was about, but once I figured out the game I really enjoyed playing.
 
I have to agree with the others, I don't think the game is the real issue here, it is the presenting problem as we say in counseling. I'm one of those Marriage and Family Therapist things when I'm not playing WoW. My wife did not like me playing a Warlock either so I don't. While WoW is fun it is still just a game and not real life. You need to sit down with your wife and ask why she is so against the game. If it is just the game you might point out there really are no strictly Christian online games like this out, believe me, I looked for a long time for one. You might also point out that you will be playing with other Chrisitans. If she is concerned about you spending time on the game and not with her, reassure her that will not happen. For some it does and I found out there's even an online group that is for people addicted to online games.

My wife once pointed to another person who asked about my interest in computers and this online game that it is something I love doing. I don't go out and hang out with the guys. I don't hang out in bars. I don't sit in front of a TV when I'm at home. I don't let it get in the way of my time with my family. My wife has other interests that are different from mine and we repsect that difference, we embrace it in fact. It makes life more interesting. My wife's job has her dealing with people's insides (surgery) and mine deals with people's minds. It doesn't get much different than those two things.

Again take the time to find out what's really wrong. If it is just the game and the dungeons and all that you might consider a Paladin or Priest or something like. Tell her you are there to help others and of course that you will be playing on Teranas and joining The Forgiven. If it is just that you should not be corrupted by "unGodly" things then you best toss out all television,s radios, magazines, mail, electronic devices and everything else around you. Then again, maybe you can be a part of the world, even the WoW world, and be a positive influence on others. Hey this is God's world, about time we took it back for him!
 
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When I had my first encounter with WOW (hubby played beta) I wasn't sure...words like minions and undead seemed fairly evil to me. I didn't want anyone in the house playing a Horder character and didn't even want them to play alliance warlocks. Having now played WOW myself for 6 months, I realize that as in most computer games, it is just a game. The game or characters in and of themselves are not inherently good or evil, it is the character behind the screen and typing on the keyboard that makes the online character behave in certain ways. Just as in CounterStrike we were not "murdering" people but rather playing an adult version of cops and robbers...WOW is not about witchcraft, channeling and other scary things but is rather a fun game.
 
My mom was the same way when my little brother and I started to play Ultima Online. She didn't like it at all, but we asked her sit down and watch us play it for a while. She did this for about a week and decided that there really wasn't anything wrong with it. In fact, she started to cheer us on when when we would PvP in DAoC or raid in EQ, which was slightly annoying, but cool at the same time.
 
Thanks

Thank you all.

Counselor, Good advise. My wife spoke to her counselor she sees and after me playing 5 months ,2 hours a day 5 days a week she felt hurt. I feel besides her feeling it is evil it took time from her and I was giving her the scraps. :(

Thanks for Female perspective North!:)

Hawk you always give good info. I will bring up your ideas, She went to Al Manconi's Web site that reviews games and she saw trouble. I did play a pally to 55 on Aggramar and did not want to play hoard or warlocks. I liked the mage and Priest. She read the game manual and said how can you teach students about Christ and lead them in to this evil game!( ie. Warlocks, undead) I did get my 12 year old neighbor and 12 year old nephew into the game. ( they were gamers already) Plus an adult friend.

I loved the interaction, helping, and getting into my friends lives. I meet two cool christians in guild and witnessed causaully to guidmates.

If transfers come out maybe I can brouch the subject to my wife. I did play A.D.D. paper in the 80's and God convicted me to stop.

My good friend in game quit palying WoW and went back to Everquest. I appreciate you all. Age of Empires 3 will be out soon , that might be my fix this winter lol.:(
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Quote from Louie Giglio - "When you follow the trail of your time, energy and affection, and money" says Louie, "you find a throne. And whatever is on that throne is the object of your worship!"

This has really been on my self-challenge list lately. It helps to justify what we do by benefits and drawbacks but nothing beats a dedicated discipleship to remember what is important these days. Boy, have i been guilty.

Hope this helps!
 
garmin said:
Thank you all.

Counselor, Good advise. My wife spoke to her counselor she sees and after me playing 5 months ,2 hours a day 5 days a week she felt hurt. I feel besides her feeling it is evil it took time from her and I was giving her the scraps. :(
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Sorry to be such a latecomer to this discussion, just found it today! :) Hope everything has worked out well for your brother. I suspected reading through the thread that it was really more of an issue of not enough quality time spent with your wife. Distractions from what is really important in life are a very real 'evil' that almost all gamers must struggle with. In this regard, books and TV can be every bit as 'evil' as even the most vapid, waste-o-time games. They also tend to have far more objectionable content, but that's a can of worms best reserved for its own thread. :)

I do applaud your willingness to abandon a hobby you love for the sake of your wife, but I warn you brother that the emptiness left from abandoning something you love to do can easily be inhabited by things that are far worse for your life and relationship. You have a need that has been filled by gaming - and you must find another way to meet that need, or else the adversary will have a strong basis for tempting you. I encourage you to explore forms of gaming that are more wife- and personal ministry- friendly, as well as non-gaming activities that engage the problem solving and creativity which you need to exercise.

Paul
 
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