I am in need of serious help. My best friend's life has been going down the tubes. She's miserable and she has talked to me about suicide. I have no idea what to do. I am in need of God's guidance. I ask you to pray for that. I also ask you to pray that God would put a hand on her so that she isn't miserable anymore.
Help me.
- Thread starter Hamm468
- Start date
ppar3566
New Member
I dont want this to come across the wrong way but when it comes to suicide and you think the threat is in any way credible (i.e. the person has not said "I wish I was dead" in frustration) tell as many relevant parties as possible. Tell the police, tell the school councilor if that is relevant, tell parents, etc. You must particularly tell someone about this if they have told you they have a plan or have thought about specifics. It is essential for both your and the persons safety that such a situation is in the hands of a professional.
Thinking of you and your friend.
Thinking of you and your friend.
ewoksrule
Active Member
I completely agree with that.
I will be praying for you.
I will be praying for you.
A few things occur to me...
1. If your best friend is a girl and you are a guy the obvious question comes to mind. I mean I know you care about her as at least as a friend but I don't know if it goes farther or if you are married to someone else or what. Basically I get the feeling this could get very complicated if she has romantic feelings towards you and you don't towards her which I think would make her feel worse. Even worse is making her think romantic feelings are returned and then having her find out they aren't. I think you have to make sure she knows you care a lot about her and she is your best friend without giving the wrong idea (if there is one).
2. It seems an opportune time to talk to her about Jesus even if she is already a Christian. You don't have to be blissfully going through life as a Christian. If someone is stabbing you in the eye it hurts and you don't have to smile gaily through the experience. The thing is even in the worse experience Jesus gives hope for the future and a reason to go on living. She should know God has given her a plan and purpose in this life to for fill.
3. Going to a professional for advice sounds like a excellent idea but I'd do this before you go tell everyone about what she said. If she told you these things in confidence having her find out you told everyone and his brother about it is a sure way to alienate her from you. I am not suggesting keeping it to yourself but be certain the people you tell actually care about her and talk to a professional.
4. Keep praying.
Last edited:
ppar3566
New Member
Let me clarify. I am a psychologist and even I would tell police, their school principal/councilor, family, other professionals if i thought a threat was realistically being considered. The first reason for this sounds selfish, and maybe it is (BUT it is very sensible in todays environment), but it is a case of not wanting to be solely responsible should the person carry out there threat. The second reason is that the people I listed (police, school councilor) should know how best to approach the situation and how best to get her in touch with professionals. If you are seriously concerned you keep telling people until someone does something, starting with those most likely to be able to get you in touch with someone who can help. Obviously appropriate discretion is important as is appropriate evaluation of the threat (be VERY concerned if they have plans, have specifics, etc) but when someone tells you something like this you have NO responibility to keep their confidence what-so-ever.
Last edited:
Yes I know ppar3566 and agree but having people treat you as a pariah in school or having the local jerk target you because he thinks it would be fun to push you some does not sound helpful. Thing is since he hasn't listed the specifics we have no way of knowing how serious or close this suicide talk is. I really think he needs to take it seriously (becuase any suicide talk is) and immediately get one on one time with a professional for advice before he starts acting on two paragraphs of internet advice which may or may not be correct. Sure if she's going to do it right now by all means tell everyone you can immediately to stop her but if not flagrant handling of this matter will make it worse.
Last edited:
ppar3566
New Member
Sure I get what you are saying and was quoting your post above as it showed I needed to clarify more clearly. I am certainly not saying you should post it on your blog or tell your class mates or anything like that. You need to tell those that have access to appropriate resources and are motivated to use them. Very few individuals on this forum will have direct contact with a professional but will have access to people who do (e.g. teacher) or at the very least have access to appropriate government sponsored resources (e.g. police).
Generally most will be able to discern between suicide threats that are clearly not real (passing comments) and those that are (person on top of a bridge). It is the middle ones that concerns me. In many cases the concern is along the lines of "this really really concerns me but what if I am wrong". There are particular things that one could be looking for (making lists, having specifics, making plans - if any of these things are present you get in touch with someone instantly) but this is often a difficult call for those without training. In the absence of this training it is imperative that one should take threats that you are truly concerned about and place them in the hands of others who are better equipped.
You rightly point out that we know very little about this situation, which is why I have a tendency to suggest a fairly strong approach in the absence of detail. What I am saying to the original poster is "If you are seriously concerned that this is NOT a passing comment I would get the responsibility of this off your hands and into the hands of more capable hands". But as the above post suggests obviously do not tell people who are not relevant, do not have access to resources, and are not capable of dealing with such a situation.
Please visit this site for more detail and especially read the three sections starting with Be willing to listen.[b/] http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?page_id=F2F25092-7E90-9BD4-C4658F1D2B5D19A0
Again everyone here is thinking and praying for you and your friend.
EDIT: For our non USA friends (i.e. most likely just me) the information in the link above is still good but please note the US only phone numbers. However, life line is available in many western countries.
Generally most will be able to discern between suicide threats that are clearly not real (passing comments) and those that are (person on top of a bridge). It is the middle ones that concerns me. In many cases the concern is along the lines of "this really really concerns me but what if I am wrong". There are particular things that one could be looking for (making lists, having specifics, making plans - if any of these things are present you get in touch with someone instantly) but this is often a difficult call for those without training. In the absence of this training it is imperative that one should take threats that you are truly concerned about and place them in the hands of others who are better equipped.
You rightly point out that we know very little about this situation, which is why I have a tendency to suggest a fairly strong approach in the absence of detail. What I am saying to the original poster is "If you are seriously concerned that this is NOT a passing comment I would get the responsibility of this off your hands and into the hands of more capable hands". But as the above post suggests obviously do not tell people who are not relevant, do not have access to resources, and are not capable of dealing with such a situation.
Please visit this site for more detail and especially read the three sections starting with Be willing to listen.[b/] http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?page_id=F2F25092-7E90-9BD4-C4658F1D2B5D19A0
Again everyone here is thinking and praying for you and your friend.
EDIT: For our non USA friends (i.e. most likely just me) the information in the link above is still good but please note the US only phone numbers. However, life line is available in many western countries.
Last edited:
cc.slim
Moderator
I will pray and am adding a phone number from Air1 that may encourage. 1- 888.Need.Him (888.755.6333)
LITSAFALDA
Prayer Angel, Moderator
Moderator's Note****OK Prayers here please.....advice please take it to PM's. The poster was asking for prayers not more conflicting ideas and stepping on each others toes. Please remember God has a way of solving things.****
Prayers for the poster and his friend and hoping for God's peace.
Blessings and Hugs, "Angel"
Prayers for the poster and his friend and hoping for God's peace.
Blessings and Hugs, "Angel"
Sorry you are right Litsafalda 
I just worried after I saw ppar's post and completely forgot the OP was only asking for prayer. I'll keep praying for them though.
I just worried after I saw ppar's post and completely forgot the OP was only asking for prayer. I'll keep praying for them though.
Last edited:
Ember
Mrs. Tek7
(I think ppar replied in here because of the important, possibly life-or-death nature of the discussion...didn't want to leave something hanging if it meant one person could be hurt if some important people aren't told.... I'm having a hard time explaining myself, but if I'm making any sense at all, that's the general idea I got.)
To the OP: Praying for you both.
To the OP: Praying for you both.
Bijou
Banned
I have been suicidal before too, hamm, and I had a cousin I absolutely adored and looked up to commit suicide... So this is VERY VERY understandable for the grief you must be going through to me.... I will be trying my best to remember to pray for the both of you... God Bless You during this time of trials, and I hope you both find peace in god's arms!
I urge you to have faith and to realize the resources you have through the glorious riches in Christ we all inherit as christians. We have access to the throne of God not because of ourselves but because of what Christ did for us on the cross. You dont need any special prayer or ritual, all you need to do is get on your knees and talk to GoD.