God vs. Santa

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Genesis1315

Genesis1315

Ladies
:Initial Disclaimer - Technically my daughter is my step-daughter, but since she lives with my husband and me, I refer to her as my daughter. If there are concerns with this, please PM:

My husband and I have been working to teach our daughter about Christmas. As she in 4 years old, we just can't explain it as we would to an adult. For the past 2 years we have always told her that we (her father and I) bring the presents on Christmas morning (when the topic comes up). We read the Christmas story and focus a lot of our conversations on Jesus and God. Until last Friday everything was peachy keen. Well, she went out for a visitation with her biological mother and came back believing that Santa now brings the presents. We have spoken in the past with the biological mother and relayed our sentiments. We do not have any proof that she actually said anything to our daughter, but given the circumstance.....

We have tried talking with our daughter about Santa but are not getting through. Does anyone have any suggestions?
 
Santa and jesus dont have to fight. Your daughter is not at the age of understanding of her faith yet anyway. There will come a day when she chooses for herself the path she walks. And i am sure her belief in santa will have died down long before that occurs.

Yes i would try to teach her the real meaning of christmas.. But a little santa never hurt anyone.
 
I dunno how to help you man. I mean its probably very different over in the USA with a larger christian contingent inside schools. With the UK having on average about 0.5 christians per pre-school class, the idea of removing santa would make their life a misery through ridicule. Since its something every kid grows out of unless they are really disturbed... I would let things take their course and continue to emphasise the Jesus in christmas but try not to shatter the childs imagination and wonderment of the whole spectacle of christmas. Its something adults just forget about.

If you really do not want santa in the house then thats fair enough. I cant suggest any way of breaking it to her. Would this cause friction with the biological mom?
 
Sorry Rizz, but I kinda have to disagree with the thought that a little santa never hurt anyone.

I mean we're doing two things 1) on a consistent basis lying to our children about this and 2) informing them that a special/magical person person exists, when if fact they do not.

While number one is obvious why it's a bad thing (especially in light of the fact that we routinely tell our children to not lie) it's the second one that is the most dangerous.  

Think about it.  We tell our children that Santa exists, we attribute to him god-like powers (omniscience and omnipresence since he knows your deeds and can be everywhere on that 1 night).  Then when the kid turns somewhere between 8-10 the child discovers that you have been lying about Santa all this time, but to top it off, you have also been lying about other vairous special/magical people (tooth fairy/easter bunny/etc).  

What then is the child supposed to think when he considers Christ?  Why on earth should that child believe that Christ exists, when all the other special/magical people the parent has told the kid about do not?



Unfortunately I have no way of breaking it to her either wihtout hurting her feelings. It is an unfortunate thing, but once a child believes something, it takes a lot to destory that faith. Hence the term "Faith like a child's"
 
Its ok.. If i had kids of my own i wouldnt teach them about santa. Well i would if they asked since the media will plaster him everywhere from about september onwards. The idea of teaching of the original saint nick is good. They are gonna get bullied to death though. I think its a kinda weird thing to submit a child to a trial for their faith before they are in the understanding of their faith. Its kinda like asking a 4 year old who likes aeroplanes to explain the theory of a jet engine and why the plane works.

Its not HCS fault that santa has been brought into the equation.. Its his problem on how he removes it though.

Ahh forget it...I have constant foot in mouth disease at the moment im better of just shutting up
 
In raising kids I really believe that the truth is the best way to go. If you explain it to her as clearly as possible and she still comes home thinking Santa brings home the presents then she is probably too young to really understand. In that case I wouldn't worry too much. The only thing you can do is keep reinforcing the truth by talking to her. I don't know what your relationship with her biological mother is but it might be a good idea to talk with her concerning your convictions and enlisting her support if possible.

Remember this:
Pr 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it. (NIV)
 
This coming from a dude or kid it uselly wares off around 6-7 and ive never seen believing in Christmas hurt anyone quite frankly. When they get old its wares off and life just goes on
 
We can keep talking to her about it. Christmas morning is going to be the challenge. I asked her tonight how she would feel if Daddy and I brought the presents instead of Santa (trying to get her back on track) and she said she would be very said if Santa did not come.

We talked with her Biological mother last year and she agreed to the whole non-Santa approach. My common sense said that one agreed upon conversation would be enough, but I think I was wrong on that one.
 
Whats wrong with her thinking santa is bringing her gifts?

I used to get gifts from santa and gifts from my parents. Actually I still get gifts from my parents that say from santa. I stoped believing in santa when I was 10 or 11.
Does she get money from the tooth fairy?

She's a kid, what she believes in now won't be the same 2 years from now. She probobly picked up the santa idea from tv, with all the christmas shows on right now.

I say don't worry about her thinking santa gave the gifts. The whole God vs. Santa, christmas is a retail holiday, not a christian one. The only good thing about it is u get to spend time with family and u get time off from work.

Sry for the short rant.
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No, she does not get money from the toothfairy. She is only 4. Her adult teeth have not started to come in yet. We do not do the Easter bunny either.

And Christmas is not a retail holiday. I am not going to debate out the fundamentals behind Christmas here (please start a post in Religious Discussions if you would like to expand on it). But in this household, Christmas signifies the birth of Christ
 
My husband and I believe as Kidan stated, DON'T LIE TO THE CHILDREN! We really think it does leave a lasting impression, even if the kids don't think so. You are setting up a precedent as Kidan stated, and that is what we tell everyone who has criticized our not including Santa, or the other make-believe holiday beings, in our home. They are always refered to as pretend and not real, no matter what other parents teach their kids. I want to keep my child's trust, and I want them to keep their trust in the truth.
 
Stick to your guns, tell her straight up, there is no Santa, he will not visit your house because he does not exist.  Take her gift shoping and have her help pick out the gifts for mommy and daddy from mommy and daddy.  Do things that will help her connect that the gift bringers are mommy and daddy, not santa.  And no little gift from santa under the tree.  And no little gift from santa  from biological mother.

HSCS, I know I don't need to tell you who the parents of this little girl is, and I know you will do a great job of being a father in this situation. So my prayers are for Gods wisdom to be imparted on you and your wife in this situation!!!
 
UPDATE****

First and foremost, I want to thank you for your prayers. I am pleased to announce they are working.

GP - we tried telling her that for 5 days straight and everyday, she looked up and said that Santa would bring presents.

It came down to me being very transparent about my emotions over the whole situation. I told her that I was disappointed that she would believe something that was not true so easily. I also mentioned that if she was continually hoping for Santa on Christmas morning, prepare to be disappointed over it. We said that if she was going to believe in the lie of Santa, that was ultimately her choice, but Santa would not bring any presents to this house. Next, I asked her (very straight-forward) if she though that Daddy and I would not bring her very nice presents. Now that one made her think. Then we told her, that if she trusts us, she may very well be surprised on Christmas morning.

I think in her heart, she is still doubting whether or not Daddy and I will come through, but I know we will prevail.

Again, thanks to Everyone and please keep praying for this little girl.

Gen

p.s. the no Santa gifts from the biological mother is going to be very difficult...but that would be an entirely different advice thread
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