Dante's Inferno: The Game

Tek7

CGA President, Tribe of Judah Founder & President
Staff member
No, I'm not kidding.

I wish I were.

I had a hard time deciding whether to post this thread in CGA General Discussion or in the Assignment: Writing! Forum, but settled on this forum. I suppose cross-posting might be appropriate in this case.

Back to the topic: There's all sorts of funny things we could say about this game, but I'm still in shock that it's actually being made.

The guys at Penny Arcade heard the announcement before I did, so they've had more time to get over the initial shock and say something funny about it.

Game: "You are now entering the ninth circle of hell. Loading...Loading...Loading..."

*Xbox 360 throws RROD*

Player: Nooooooooo!
 
Being such a great work of literature, it is nothing short of a crime that they should turn it into a game.

There are so many subtleties and messages in the book that to say that making an action game out of it misses the point would be a gross understatement.

They ought to at least drop the "Dante's" part so it doesn't seem like it's passing itself off as a direct adaptation, since it obviously won't be.
 
Dead Space would beg to differ
I'm not doubting that Dead Space was a great game. I haven't played it and have no intention of ever playing it (I don't see the logic in paying good money to be scared when I can just turn on the evening news for free), but scoring an 89 on Metacritic carries some clout.

My point is that taking any part of Dante's Divine Comedy and trying to turn it into a video game is ridiculous for so many reasons.

What does EA have in store for their next title?

"KAFKA'S THE METAMORPHOSIS: Use your newly discovered powers as a bug-man to terrorize your unsympathetic family! Wield your pincers to slice and dice unfriendly tenants! Level up and roll over buildings with giant dung balls! KAFKA'S THE METAMORPHOSIS: WHAT'S BUGGING YOU?"

"SHAKESPEARE'S HAMLET: Infiltrate the castle of Denmark to avenge your father's blood! Clear 5 sprawling castle levels with bosses like Yorick, the Undead Fiend that shoots fireballs from his eye sockets, Ophelia, the half-mad and scantily clad princess with lightning-fast nunchuks, and, finally, King Claudius, a cyborg who stands 20 feet tall and throws his Crown Of Deadly Death Rays. SHAKESPEARE'S HAMLET: YOU'LL BE DYING FOR REVENGE."

The list could go on with ideas nearly as stupid as making a video game "based" on Dante's Inferno. I'm not saying this is the dumbest idea for a video game ever, but it's got to be pretty darn close.

If you want to make a scary vision of hell, just do it. We all know this is probably going to be a Diablo clone anyway. At least Blizzard had the good sense not to pull classic literature into Diablo.

On a related note, the whole "journey through hell" has been done to death. How many more games do we need with dark tones, low lighting, and pentagrams scrawled on the wall in blood? Gamers have already played through three Dooms and two Diablos. Do we really need another game like this? Developers need to stop falling back on "HELL IZ TEH SCARRYIST PLASE EVAR" and create something fresh and innovative.

Being such a great work of literature, it is nothing short of a crime that they should turn it into a game.

There are so many subtleties and messages in the book that to say that making an action game out of it misses the point would be a gross understatement.
QFT.

EDIT: And if a video game based on an epic poem from the 14th century isn't ridiculous enough: Search for "Gahndi II" on YouTube and look for clips from Weird Al's 1989 film UHF featuring Gahndi wielding machine guns, dating supermodels, and ordering steak at an expensive restaurant. That should give you a fair idea of what EA is going to do with Dante's Inferno.
 
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It really doesn't make sense to me. Frankly I found Inferno more of a political commentary than having much to do about the core of Christianity. Dante seemed to me a bit more focused on worldly order than the things of the spirit. Sort of a precursor of a "human centric" view of God and society. Just my view though.

Anyway the trailer screams insane travesty. I'll bet it's going to be even worse an offering than the movie "based" on Starship Troopers (i.e. essentially unrelated).
 
It really doesn't make sense to me. Frankly I found Inferno more of a political commentary than having much to do about the core of Christianity. Dante seemed to me a bit more focused on worldly order than the things of the spirit. Sort of a precursor of a "human centric" view of God and society. Just my view though.

Anyway the trailer screams insane travesty. I'll bet it's going to be even worse an offering than the movie "based" on Starship Troopers (i.e. essentially unrelated).

Your trying to give EA too much credit.

EA Development Pipeline:
- find cool theme
- release trailers to up the hype
- cut the deadline short on the developers
- add in some sort of sex appeal, no matter how irrelevant
- throw in drm to make an already bad/unfinished game worst
- release to public
 
Your trying to give EA too much credit.

EA Development Pipeline:
- find cool theme -OR- ruin an already good one
- release trailers to up the hype
- cut the deadline short on the developers
- add in some sort of sex appeal, no matter how irrelevant
- throw in drm to make an already bad/unfinished game worst
- release to public
Fixed.

Need for Speed, anyone?
 
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