crisis

Y

yAngStA

New Member
ok you guys im having so much stress because of this and i've been deciding a long time whether i should share this or not.

After much decision.. and just personal inability i really feel that i need you guys' help and prayers. I will also note that i am being COMPLETELY honest in this post.

Before i tell you my situation i feel it is neccesary to give a little background information that pertains to the problem
my name is:Daniel Yang
Age:14
I go to public school
and i am asian and my parents are asian ( yes this makes a big difference )
My parents are divorced, and i live with my mom and stepdad who are christian
My real dad lives in texas with my stepmom who are not christian

I am a freshman and i started high school this year. My parenst are asian so they are typically extremely strict and can be very frustrating to deal with and obey at times. For example, they demand that i take the most hardest classes and they demand that in those classes i must have A's. First of all that is difficult but thats not all, its a huge workload and enough stress within itself. Next, it's really frustrating when i have to deal with my parents with grades. For example, when i get a 99% on a test , they don't say WOW good job! instead they say what did you get wrong? why couldn't you get an a hundred. Also, they have extremely strict rules and i don't have many priveleges. My parenst expect me to come home and do homework and study and eat and sleep. Maybe its my own personal fault at this but i really cannot agree with my parents at this part. Therefore, obviously there would be so many conflicts. My parents get EXTREMELY angry at B's and go absolutely crazy when i get C's. I am not even exagerating. There are plenty of nights that i have to cry myself to sleep because i just have no idea how to deal with them. I am constant in my devotion, in my prayer, attend church. I ask God many times jsut to tell my parents to loosen up a little bit but it doesn't seem like it changes. Now into the second quarter of high school and my grades have been declining to 4 a's 3 b's and 1 c . My parenst absolutely cannot stand these grades. and i have not been able to concentrate on working at my school work because of al lthe stress, arguments and just plain hopelesness. I've tried almost everything in my power to try to please my parents but it just does not work. My parents feel that i constantly threatening me that i cannot get into any college with my grades. They always say "where are you going with these grades?.... what are u going to do when you grow up ? pick trash? clean toilets? " and when i try to explain to them that first that is not true... they won't listen... and also when i tell them that the class is too hard for me... they won't listen... Just all the conflicts lead to my grades declining and my parents have decided that i need to move to Texas with my dad in order to improve my grades. THIS REALLY ADDS TO MY BURDEN AND STRESS. this is because my dad is not christian so i won't have a christian enviorment... and i most likely won't be able to attend church... I am really saddened by this so i realy need you guys' prayers and guidance especially from the older and more wiser people in this community.

thank you so much

In Christ,
Daniel Yang aka [toj.cc] TLA|yAngSta-ALONE
 
I may not be much older, but my parents do the same thing. THey aren't as strict as yours though. I'll pray for you and I have any ideas on how to help you I'll tell you.
 
I just want to say first that I do understand that there is a difference in cultures. I don’t know what it means for you to be growing up in an Asian home, but having traveled through Europe and SW Asia I do understand that our cultures may be very different in how we do things.

I am a father of five kids and I understand wanting our children to excel and do well in life. My greatest hope is that my children do better than I have. I can’t say if your parents are too harsh on you or not. That is really between you and them. The important thing is if you are doing the absolute best you can do and that you do it as unto God.

As far as your concern about going to live with your non-Christian parent, have you talked this over with your mother? Express your spiritual concerns with her. Ask her for her advice and let her know that you are seeking her wisdom and guidance. Ask her to pray with you and seek God’s guidance.

You have Philippians 4:13 in your signature and I really like that verse. You really can do everything through him who gives you strength. I want you though to consider another part of that same chapter, Philippians 4:4-7. It says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
This isn’t a promise to give you whatever you ask but it is a promise that you can ask anything and He will give you peace that is above all understanding.

I have found in my life that when I worry too much that is when I try to take control. The end result many times has required me to settle for something that was not the very best that it could have been. But when I give everything to God, that is without holding anything back, and by trusting Him, I have not only been given peace which transcends all understanding, I have received blessings that I never expected and could never have dreamed of.
God is truly good and He will bless you. Trust Him, that is hard, and it’s a lesson I am still learning but I promise you, it is a lesson worth learning.

1Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
 
yangsta - Will definitely be praying for you. I struggled with some of the same family problems myself, so I believe I can sympathize.

Keep on keepin' on. Be sure you stay faithful and spend time just speaking to God each day. It sounds like you have a lot to "vent" and just talking about it with God may go a long way toward relieving some of the pressure. If you have any Christian friends in your area, keep each other accountable to maintain your focus.

One of the most difficult things to do when parents are stressing you out is to remember that your work as a Christian comes before your work as a student. This does not mean you neglect your schoolwork; it means you maintain a clear perspective that reaching out to others, preaching the Gospel through word and actions, and pursuing the plan God has for you takes top priority. It's tough to do that when you feel like you don't have enough time for both schoolwork and spending time with God, but I can personally testify that putting God first is the only way to prevent burnout and massive stress.

Stick in there. If you want to vent to some people who love and listen, feel free to post on the forums any time. It may take some time to work through this, but if you really seek God's answers--because they are right, not because they are easy--you'll be building character all the while.

The Christian life is not about avoiding suffering. There is no life without suffering. It is about suffering for a purpose. The Christian life is about getting God's work done. Keep at it, keep praying for your parents, and know that we're backing you up with prayer. Not saying it's easy. Just saying that you're not alone.
 
Yangsta, I will pray for you.

I grew up with parents that said I will never graduate ... but I did. I didn't grow up in a Christian home though.
One Question ... Is there a Youth pastor or pastor that you can go to and talk. Tell him whats in your heart.
God Bless You
 
yangsta, let me reverse this on you.

Would you rather have parents that did not press you? parents that did not care what grades you got?

My parents are like that to an extent (they do care about my grades) but i am also in college.

Now i went to a public highschool where it was push them through and get them done. it did not matter if you KNEW the materials or not. (my lack of spelling and grammar are prime examples ^_^ ) Show up to class or not, if you had the right teacher (even in honors classes and some AP) you would get credit. others you could just bring food too and they would pass you (no this is not an exageration). very few (though i was lucky and had many of them) cared if you knew the materials and showed up to class. because of all this, it led to very lax study skills. most tests and papers i could ace or pull out a B on no problem with out ever looking at anything. over all highschool was very easy for me. i really do wish it had been different.

Now i go to a Christian college, which has strict attendance policies ( i can miss more than 8days of class... or in some 4 days...) it is on a weird grading scale. 100-94A and so forth. there is alot of additional reading, and outside study that needs to be done. this semister i have to write an 70 or 80page or so paper on I tim 4:11-16 basicly. my first 2 semisters i skated by like i did in Highschool with my same study habbits and methodology, and am now sitting on a disgusting 2.5 or 2.78 ( i honestly forget) GPA. at times i wish i had been pushed harder. yet i wonder what i would have done, would i have rebelled and purposely done bad? or maybe i would have excelled and done everything expected of me (by the way my validvictorian was an Asian ^_^ in highschool).

The real question and the honest anwser. which i know i dont like to be truthful with myself about alot of times is.

Did you do your absolute best? did you do all the study and prepartion you could possibly do? did you know the material in and out, forward and backward.

Realize, no matter how stressfull it is for you, forget it. it does not matter. If you have done your absolute best and you can sit back and say i did my best and there is nothing more i could have done then, fine good job, if not. do it again and do it better this time.

You need to strive your best to please your parents, but honestly when it comes down to it, i like what Peter said in Acts 4:19-20, basicly he asks is it right for us to listen to God or man?

Are you honoring God with your mind? are you doing your best?

As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.

Leonardo Da Vinci

There are too many ideas, and things, and people, too many directions to go. I believe the reason it matters to care passionately about something,is that it whittles the world down to a more managable size.

Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute! Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Only engage, and then the mind grows heated. Begin, and then the work will be completed
 
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