Clean Insults

T

tjguitarz

New Member
Hey everyone,

Every book has to have a bad guy, right? In the real world, the bad guys are always cussin' and saying extremely degrading things. Now transition to a book. I, as a Christian, don't like to read any cussing or highly offensive insults in literature, therefore I don't want it in my book. I don't want anthing that I wouldn't hear at church.

And here's the kicker.

What insults can I use that will still impact the reader, but not make a third grader giggle, an elderly woman gasp, or a guy like me sigh?

I've come up with a few, but none are very effective. Let me know what you guys think. My following post will be a few examples I have so far.

TJ
 
Last edited:
As you can see, some are more effective than others. I feel with the right combiniation of adjectives, you can make any of these effective. Nevertheless, every writer must avoid repetition (unless it's intended).

Mongrel
Brute
Bloke
Fart
Harlot
Tart
Pervert
Slut
Turd
Vagabond
Retard
Loaf
Oaf
Whore
Jerk
Idiot
Fool
Rascal
Scamp

Mods, sorry if any of these are against any policy. Feel free to delete as necessary.
 
Use adjectives and actions to define your characters; that way you won't have to describe them using insults. The readers can decide on their own whether the character is likeable or detestable. Later on, once your characters are established, it will become much easier for the characters to show their dislike for one another.

I hope that helps..

-Bowser
 
I'm not describing the characters with insults, it's during a dialogue. I'm trying to show the evilest side of one of the guys.
 
If you are writing in the third person you can use action to express hatred, expressing subtle motion like the twitching of an eye or the clenching of fists. The first person presents even more oppertunities as you can use practically anything. When writing a story try to mix action in with the thoughts, I am using a similar idea in my current short story. I may post a draft for the fun of it depending on how well it goes.
 
Hey everyone... finally got around to signing up for the CGA boards (I've been part of the Forgiven on WoW since May), and this board drew me like a moth to a flame.

TJ, your question is difficult to answer without having at least a rough idea of the characters and settings involved; that being said, as a general rule, clean insults tend to fall under a few broad headings-

Aspersions against the opposing character's
- hygiene
-dietary habits (even 'habits' that it's doubtful that they engage in, like 'dung eater')
- mentality (accusing them of being a bigot, for example)
- intelligence (if you want to go more subtly than just 'moron!', pointing out glaring flaws in their plans is one way to do it)
- parenthood/family (saying unkind things about their mother is always a winner)
- ethics
- looks/appearance

Hope that helps a little.
 
This is an interesting thread of discussion. My own personal decision in writing has been to largely avoid bad language, even for 'evil' characters, for a few reasons. First, I tend to associate bad language with 'pettiness' rather than evil. This might be partly because most of my favorite evil characters never use foul language at all. I think, for instance, of the Baron Harkonnen from the Dune series. That guy is certainly sick, sexually depraved, callous beyond imagination, but does he ever even once use foul language? Not that I can remember. Nor does he 'need' to, as far as I'm concerned. It would just cheapen him, just as it would Darth Vader, the Emperor Palpatine or any number of other villans I might name.

Second, I see bad language that is independent of action as a 'cheap' way to turn a reader psychologically against a character. In many cases it even may be considered a hallmark of amateurish writing. Though it is true that the reader will think less and maybe even come to hate a character who spouts ugly words all the time, when those words are independent of action they rarely have a lasting effect for making a reader really hate the character or see him/her as truly evil. As an example of what I'm talking about, think of a teenage male character who talks about how he hates dogs and would like to rip their heads off - that's a character the reader will dislike certainly. But now consider a sweet old retired lady who goes to Church every Sunday. We'll call her Martha. To supplement her retirement check, Martha kidnaps dogs, takes them home, locks them in her basement, starves them, videotapes them fighting each other over the tiny scraps she throws them from time to time, and then sells the videotape online. This is a character which the reader will hate. This is a character who the reader will demand to see brought to justice. And the reader will grip the pages of the book with white knuckles until that happens.

It is difficult to understate the importance of 'action' in writing. Foul language, in my opinion, is usually only appropriate and effective when used in CONJUNCTION with actions on the part of that character. And even then, it may not be necessary. Which brings me to my final reason for avoiding bad language - why throw bad words at your reader, which may cause your reader to pick them up or which may degrade and degenerate the reader's thoughts? This is particularly a danger when you give foul language to hero characters, with which the reader will tend to associate. But of course that's another topic for discussion. :cool:

So to relate this to the topic at hand: I don't think bad language is something we must compensate for as writers, by using less-bad words. I think its something we really don't need to use most of the time. When it is used, it shouldn't be gratuitous, nor should it be the end-point of where you are leaving the reader's thoughts. Otherwise you may be corrupting the reader, which of course any Christian writer wants to avoid.

Paul
 
Last edited:
dorkelf said:
***INSERT EVERYTHING HE SAID HERE***
Paul
Click to expand...

Dorkelf, I somewhat agree with you. However, I feel that insults are a good thing when it comes to representing evil characters. With that said, it does depend on the character. Several villians in my book are the soft spoken kind - they let their brutality speak for itself. However, one of the weaker villians, Nicholai, is trying to supplement insults to try and make himself look more evil than his powerful brothers. I feel that is a good path to the interworkings of a character.

Insults are also good when it comes to showing how miserable or stressed a character is. For example, my main character was thrown in prison by the enemy. Several other men were with him. Forced to do slave labor, one of the characters was viciously sarcastic toward my hero. This was to show his 'evil' side, and to intensify the unjust and brutal situation. And like you said, his cruelness was used in conjustion with his actions, i.e. spitting on the hero and frustratingly throw his tools.

Never, ever, ever, will my Hero say anything mean. That is, after all, why he is the Hero. Oh man, he's such a beast :D

Let me know what you think of my thoughts,

Tyler
 
This is an interesting thread of discussion. My own personal decision in writing has been to largely avoid bad language, even for 'evil' characters, for a few reasons. First, I tend to associate bad language with 'pettiness' rather than evil. This might be partly because most of my favorite evil characters never use foul language at all. I think, for instance, of the Baron Harkonnen from the Dune series. That guy is certainly sick, sexually depraved, callous beyond imagination, but does he ever even once use foul language? Not that I can remember. Nor does he 'need' to, as far as I'm concerned. It would just cheapen him, just as it would Darth Vader, the Emperor Palpatine or any number of other villans I might name.
Click to expand...

Saying things about someone's mother, etc., isn't bad language...
 
I think that when using insults to aid with character development, or even in the course of action, they'd better be GOOD insults or it will come across as just lame. For example, if your main antagonist calls the hero a "scallywag", or vice versa, it will likely somewhat degrade the value of BOTH characters. Keep in mind that if you lower the esteem of the villain with a lame insult, it lowers the esteem of his overcomer as well. A character is only as good as his foil. Holmes had Moriarity, Superman has Lex Luthor, Henry V had Hotspur, and so too should your hero have an archnemesis of equal or superior ability.

So, my suggestion would be to stay away from insults if you can, at least until that final climactic confrontation. My $.02. ;)
 
I feel your difficulty

I have a lot of ideas for video game plot lines and I have had the same discussion with myself and God. The problem is we are trying to portray a character who does not have restraint while trying to have restraint ourselves. In a perfect world these words would be taken as only the actions of the fictional character and not to be used in for real but the world is not perfect as we well know. Case in point is Clark Gables famous line in "Gone with the Wind" the line had impact because the whole movie was really leading up to that moment and the word itself was not at that time openly used in movies. Subsequent movies sought the same impact but did not have the plot to back it up. To compensate for this they used the word more and more. Now the word has very little impact in movies and people have had to move on to more and offensive language to "shock" anyone.

My solution is to use general phrases like " she's everyone's girl" which is insulting but can be taken as a reference to her inability to be loyal. Kind of like the phrase "making love" which can just be kissing. Vulgarities are always specific in their meaning. For the character you seem to be looking for, a immature evil person (that is always difficult as they haven't the wit for good non-cussing insults). You can achieve some lack of restraint by continually repeating a phrase " I don't need this garbage" " Don't give me this trash" etc. Lack of intelligence is often assumed by such repetition and if those phrases are always agitating I believe a lack of restraint and insecurity will be inferred.

How's this... imagine the hero is tied up by our shallow antagonist... a dark veil of unconsciousness is lifted and at the stir of his head a mocking echo begins...
"You though you where better than me?!?!"
"I thought you where going to beat ME, Mr. Hero huh, hmph"
"I like it when they cry, are you gonna cry MR. HERO?"
"You got nuthin to say now do you?
"Yeah but I am going to say plenty with a cap to your head."
"And when that smart mouth of yours is chewing on worms I'm going to be having fun with your old lady."

The taunting of what he is going to do is always juvenile while his evil intent is clear (not that this is the best writing). Regardless whatever a person says either loses or gains impact from their actions. A carefully written story and well developed characters will always have more impact than any single word (as others on this thread have said similarly). As in "Gone with the Wind" the word would have been pointless without the build up to it.

I don't think any cussing is necessary for a good story, it just takes more effort, but then better stories come out of that effort so hang tough! And remember when in doubt pray and when not in doubt pray anyway :)

On a side note I generally roll my eyes :rolleyes: every time someone cusses for real. It has little impact for "seriousness" to me as people do it so much.

On a side side note ;) check out my thread http://www.cgalliance.org/forums/showthread.php?p=187885#post187885 for some free stuff (shameless self promotion =) )
 
Last edited:
Hey... first off, I'd like to agree with Dorkelf... insults of the "standard insult" fashion should be reserved for drunken, uneducated street brawlers or deck swabbers, and not for principle villains.

So, what I suggest (with examples) is that you go for more or less "subtle" insults. "You dog-ridden son of uncertain parents" doesn't go well with an evil villain.

Instead, villains will tend to verbally attack heroes in specific ways: here are a couple:

1) Bringing the Hero down to the Villain's level:
In Spider-man, the Green Goblin says, "You and I are the same... we are both different." What the Goblin is saying is that Spider-man's actions are no better than his own actions. Subtle, but insulting.

2) Calling the Hero's Motives into question:
"Hero? You? Don't make me laugh! This isn't about being a hero, or saving the world -- this is about you! About your ego!" He's saying that the hero is motivated by the same lust for fame and power that villains are.

3) Calling your Hero's Actions into question:
If the Green Goblin were psychic, he might say something like: "You say you're a hero, but you're just a liar -- you sacrifised your uncle, the man who raised you as his own son, on the altar of your own power!!"

Another way that a villain may prove his or her evil in relation to the hero is by trying to make the hero seem helpless, by calling attention to the hero's failings or relative weekness.

1) Calling attention to the hero's failings:
"You call yourself a follower of God, but you have not been faithful to Him -- He will not answer your prayers!" This gives you an opportunity for character development, too. :)

2) Pointing out a hero's relative weekness:
This one is hard to do non-cheesy... Watching old episodes of Dragon Ball Z should be sufficient to train you in what NOT to do.
Basically, create a sense of helplessness through psychological-style head games wherein the hero is forced to the end of his rope.
 
Good points guys. Will definitely take them into consideration. And, The Mighty Gerbil, I do too roll my eyes when someone cusses. It also makes me angry. Hence why there is NO cussing at all in my book. It lessens the quality of literature.
 
I agree with you on the cussing...albeit some people managed to worm alternative phrases close to swear words into books. however, i stay away from those in my own books.
Another hint on writing: try to incorporate meanings into your character's names. i use a character named Braeden for a villain, his name means "From the Dark Valley"
 
OH YEAH! Did that a TON when I was first starting off. That's how I got Eryk... Forever strong, ruler, rich in honors, powerful... yada yada yada...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top