At 711 words, this story is a tad long for contest entry. So I thought I would make a new thread for it so people can critique it.
Chronicles of the Dae
As he surveyed the aftermath of the battle, Ryd'a was struck by an acute sense of deja vu. He had seen this scene before. Then he remembered, his Turning Vision. The Turning Vision, commonly called the “Vurta,” or “Drug-Dream,” was experienced during the Que-Ka, or Turning, when the Kata acolytes became true Daemonkata Warriors. Most Visions were merely the byproduct of all the chemicals coursing through the acolytes body during the Change. Some however, were prophetic. Apparently, Ryd'a's was the latter.
Ryd'a struggled to remember the details of his Vision. As he crawled into the recesses of his mind he saw...
Himself standing on a rock surveying a battlefield. Then a sense of impending doom surrounded him, thicker than the developing fog. Two figures strode toward him. Cloaked in red, they were obviously Daegonkata, the female counterpart to the Daemonkata. The figures stopped and seemed about to reveal themselves.
And there his vision had ended. He didn't know exactly what it was about, but he did know whoever the two figures were, they're coming didn't bode well for the Dae.
As Ryd'a contemplated this, he noticed a thick fog rolling in. “Just like in my vision.” He thought. Ryd'a looked over the field and as he expected, there were two cloaked and hooded figures striding purposefully toward him out of the fog. The grim figures stopped and lowered their hoods. The first revealed a young yet lined face, with gray hair. Ketassa, leader of the Rouges. Ryd'a and her had met a few times over the years, sometimes on the same side, mostly not.
The second was a great surprise. The face was normal for a Daegonkata, young, beautiful, with black hair lightly streaked with white. It was who the face belonged to that was the surprise. For the second woman was none other than Alyssa, Ryd'a's best friend from childhood and his Turning Sister. Not to mention presumed dead for a millinium. Whenever Ryd'a had any problems in his life, he had always turned to Alyssa for answers, and she always gave them. She had been his rock amidst the turmoil involved in being a Daemonkata. When he had watched her sacrifice herself to the Tchekani Whirlpool to save him, he had felt as if his heart was torn out of his chest. And now, to see her alive and apparently well filled Ryd'a with unspeakable joy. But what was she doing with Ketassa?
“What... how?” He managed to stammer.
“The how is not important.” Said Alyssa. “Suffice to say I am alive. But I don't have time to talk about it, I have come here to ask you a favor. Ketassa believes I am wasting my time by doing this but I will ask anyways. There is a war coming, Brother. Between the Rouges and the House of Dae. All I ask is that you stay out of it, for my sake. Please, Brother.”
Ryd'a pondered the implications of the last few seconds. On the one hand Alyssa was alive! But on the other, she said there was a war coming, and she was fighting with the Rouges.
“Is that what the Elders are all on edge about?” Ryd'a wondered. “The possibility of a war?”
Well, it wasn't a possibility any more. If Alyssa said it war was coming, then it was indeed coming. She did after all have the Gift of Foresight. But even with the shock of seeing Alyssa and what she had said, Ryd'a knew what he had to do.
“While I am glad that you are alive, I must say that I will stand with the Dae in any conflict.” Ryd'a answered.
“Very well.” Said Alyssa. “Let us hope we do not meet on a field of battle. I do not think I could strike down my Turning Brother.”
“Or I, my Sister.” Ryd'a replied.
“I will have no such hesitation.” Hissed Ketassa, making her first and only entry into the conversation.
She then raised her hood and stalked off across the field. Alyssa did likewise and Ryd'a was left staring at their backs. With a heavy heart he finally turned and left the field and went to report the encounter to the Elders.
They would want to know.
Chronicles of the Dae
As he surveyed the aftermath of the battle, Ryd'a was struck by an acute sense of deja vu. He had seen this scene before. Then he remembered, his Turning Vision. The Turning Vision, commonly called the “Vurta,” or “Drug-Dream,” was experienced during the Que-Ka, or Turning, when the Kata acolytes became true Daemonkata Warriors. Most Visions were merely the byproduct of all the chemicals coursing through the acolytes body during the Change. Some however, were prophetic. Apparently, Ryd'a's was the latter.
Ryd'a struggled to remember the details of his Vision. As he crawled into the recesses of his mind he saw...
Himself standing on a rock surveying a battlefield. Then a sense of impending doom surrounded him, thicker than the developing fog. Two figures strode toward him. Cloaked in red, they were obviously Daegonkata, the female counterpart to the Daemonkata. The figures stopped and seemed about to reveal themselves.
And there his vision had ended. He didn't know exactly what it was about, but he did know whoever the two figures were, they're coming didn't bode well for the Dae.
As Ryd'a contemplated this, he noticed a thick fog rolling in. “Just like in my vision.” He thought. Ryd'a looked over the field and as he expected, there were two cloaked and hooded figures striding purposefully toward him out of the fog. The grim figures stopped and lowered their hoods. The first revealed a young yet lined face, with gray hair. Ketassa, leader of the Rouges. Ryd'a and her had met a few times over the years, sometimes on the same side, mostly not.
The second was a great surprise. The face was normal for a Daegonkata, young, beautiful, with black hair lightly streaked with white. It was who the face belonged to that was the surprise. For the second woman was none other than Alyssa, Ryd'a's best friend from childhood and his Turning Sister. Not to mention presumed dead for a millinium. Whenever Ryd'a had any problems in his life, he had always turned to Alyssa for answers, and she always gave them. She had been his rock amidst the turmoil involved in being a Daemonkata. When he had watched her sacrifice herself to the Tchekani Whirlpool to save him, he had felt as if his heart was torn out of his chest. And now, to see her alive and apparently well filled Ryd'a with unspeakable joy. But what was she doing with Ketassa?
“What... how?” He managed to stammer.
“The how is not important.” Said Alyssa. “Suffice to say I am alive. But I don't have time to talk about it, I have come here to ask you a favor. Ketassa believes I am wasting my time by doing this but I will ask anyways. There is a war coming, Brother. Between the Rouges and the House of Dae. All I ask is that you stay out of it, for my sake. Please, Brother.”
Ryd'a pondered the implications of the last few seconds. On the one hand Alyssa was alive! But on the other, she said there was a war coming, and she was fighting with the Rouges.
“Is that what the Elders are all on edge about?” Ryd'a wondered. “The possibility of a war?”
Well, it wasn't a possibility any more. If Alyssa said it war was coming, then it was indeed coming. She did after all have the Gift of Foresight. But even with the shock of seeing Alyssa and what she had said, Ryd'a knew what he had to do.
“While I am glad that you are alive, I must say that I will stand with the Dae in any conflict.” Ryd'a answered.
“Very well.” Said Alyssa. “Let us hope we do not meet on a field of battle. I do not think I could strike down my Turning Brother.”
“Or I, my Sister.” Ryd'a replied.
“I will have no such hesitation.” Hissed Ketassa, making her first and only entry into the conversation.
She then raised her hood and stalked off across the field. Alyssa did likewise and Ryd'a was left staring at their backs. With a heavy heart he finally turned and left the field and went to report the encounter to the Elders.
They would want to know.
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