Being Harrassed

[ISI]Brickbro

[ISI]Brickbro

New Member
oh the thing I wanted to talk about with the group is I am getting told rumors about me at school saying I'm a pothead I do drugs and I am being mean to my girlfriend and abusing her when I am not so I am talking with the principle on Thursday morning, so if you could pray for me and just give me advice

Contact me via private message if desired.

EDIT: I, Gerbil, removed his phone and e-mail to protect him from spammers and trolls. I suggest you contact him via PM first if you want this info. Brick if you want to share this info openly it is your call but I could not contact you in time to talk about it.
 
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Prayers for you Bro. Harassment and getting made fun of really sucks. Sadly, it seems like it doesn't end when you finish school. It's one of those things that you'll find everywhere for the rest of your like - at your job, from family members, friends, online, ect. Online it's easier to Mute someone or just Leave the Server. But when you're on a Job that you're forced to stand by them for hours at a time - well, it becomes more necessary to find a way to cope to make it through the day.

First, I think asking God's Advice is the Best avenue! He's the Only One who knows what would be best in each unique situation. In your prayer time ask Him to guide your response in this situation and to open the doors to talk to who you need to to help resolve this. Looking into the Bible sometimes you can find an example of how someone else dealt with a similar situation. The Bible explains to us that there is nothing new under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 1:9
What has been will be again, what has been done
will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.

Things like famine, strife, hatred, war, envy, harassment , people taking advantage of others, physical abuse, lying, cheating, greed, and much more... are things that are (sadly) nothing new. So even though the Bible was written long ago, it holds valuable advice on dealing with situations that keep happening to people all over the world again and again.

Secondly, I think asking the Advice of God loving Family, Friends and Peers is awesome! So you're Right on Track for making a good choice with how to deal with this. I applaud you! :)


Humor...
In my life, I've found that joking around helps me deal with adversity. When people say things to me that are hurtful or not true I'll respond with something totally silly, maybe sarcastic, stupid or off the wall. Humor is always a touchy subject and what one person finds silly another will find offensive so sometimes it's hard to walk that line. For me and example would be...

You're a Pot Head and you abuse you Girlfriend.

My response might be...
Well, you should know I buy from your Grandma! And she says I still treat her better than you do! :p

And then laugh it off like you're just joking around with them. I'm just messing with you. Once again humor like that is totally subjective and it might catch them off guard enough to get them to back off or even laugh. For one thing, it lets them know that you're not taking their claims about you seriously. For another thing it will let them know that you're not planning on giving them the reaction they want from you - getting all mad and worked up.

Ignore...
You may just choose to ignore what people are saying about you. You know it's not true so you have nothing to worry about. There will always be people saying something about someone. Sometimes they just do it out of boredom and wanting to start some controversy for excitement. If they don't get the reaction they want it may just die because it's not fun for them any more.

Olive Branch...
You might choose another approach and offer them an Olive Branch of Friendship. You might say to them... You know, you and I don't really hang out at all. Maybe we should do something together like pizza or a game night or a movie sometime. I could even invite my girlfriend along and you could bring a friend too. Maybe by spending some time with you and your girlfriend, they might see that what they are saying about you isn't accurate and it may just open up a possible friendship.

Straight Honest Feelings Approach...

Another approach, you might just want to come right out and tell them how you're feeling. You might say... Ya, I've been having a rough time lately but doing pot would never make things better. It doesn't solve anything. And sometimes my girlfriend and I have our share of disagreements but for me Abuse is never an option. I care about her too much.

*Just remember what God tells us in

Matthew 10:16
I'm sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves,
so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.

Be aware of situations and people and the feelings they are having, but try not to just lash out at them in revenge or to hurt them back. The World wages war like this - but the Bible encourages us to be wise but gentle. In your response to hatred and anger, make sure you're standing innocent before God and not sinning back at them in anger. ;)
 
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the person spreading the rumors is most likely jealous. In my high school days and now in life i first ignore the rumors. Be open with your girlfriend about it but ignore it. I have to deal with crap like this even now as folks try to demean my business...but i handle them the same. I let me service speak for itself...and i have not lost a client yet due to rumor mongering. Let your actions speak for themselves.
 
Well after some thought and prayer I must first say I've no significant experience in such matters so I'd be talking out the side of my mouth if I gave specific advice. My small school experience did not include many friends so any gossip that existed never reached me. As far as bullying I typically tolerated it for a few weeks, while politely telling them to leave me alone, until I eventually punched them, then they had respect and left me alone (I was never angry about it either). I was a younger age than you are and it didn't involve faceless gossip so that will not work. Life would be so much easier if we could just punch all our problems away, alas we cannot but I digress.

I can however give general advice because sin and human nature are universal in this world. Whether this is someone out to specifically get you or if you were simply the unlucky guy chosen to make something up about it's the same at a base level. People actively seek to put others down to raise themselves up. Don't let them push your buttons because this is often what they want. Be patient, calm and repeat the truth. I'd imagine one of two things will happen either people will get bored and move on or they will have to escalate things. That, and because we are supposed to show the character of Christ, is why you need to keep a level head and not get angry. You should also probably avoid any activity that could be misconstrued, at least for a little while. Probably not a good time to teach your girl to box <kidding> or be seen alone in places or with people of questionable character. Whether you have an enemy or if people just want to gossip don't put yourself in situations that, while innocent, give them ammo (reminds me of politics and the Billy Graham rule but I digress again).

Also consider the time of Christ. At that time Israel wanted (at least some of the people did), and expected, a Messiah who would liberate them from Roman occupation. Well Christ did not come to lead them in physical war but that didn't stop the Pharisees from trying to get the Romans to execute Him for sedition, when that failed they said they wanted to execute Him for blasphemy, though the reality probably was they wanted to execute Him to retain their religious power over the people. Point being Christ did nothing wrong and they brought false charges against Him to get rid of Him. I know you are not perfect or facing the same severity of punishment but using false accusations against Christians is nothing new. If the world hates you know that it hated Christ first.

John 15:18-27 said:
18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’[a] If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21 They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. 24 If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25 But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason.’
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Remember to pray before acting Brickbro and hang tough we will pray for you too :) .

If there is a silver lining to any of this you may find out who your real friends are in school and aren't by the end of it.
 
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I actually found that once I graduated High School most of that garbage was left behind. Granted, I went directly into a university with 30,000 other students (of ALL ages) rather than into a community college (which I heard was basically High School part 2). I also kept my head down at the university (being a very quiet person) and only met a handful of people while being there.

Of course, there is a degree of it going on at work (not as much as went on in my non-career jobs - Fast Food, Retail, Experimental Plane Building) but I am unaware of it going on specifically about me and mostly hear (and ignore) gossip about others due to certain people. Although, even that isn't as bad anymore since I'm living the dream (mine, at least) and actually telework from about 2000 miles away from the people I work with.
 
Guys, I really appreciate how much care, concern, thoughts, and LOVE you've placed in your responses.

There will always be the kind of people out there in the world who just don't have the self love or self worth to "be good enough" not to need to harm others. Do your best to BE the better person without letting them cause too much harm. I do agree with HCS about them being jealous. You have a heart full because of your faith which makes helps you be more confident and this shows. I hope things get better for you, but it is also good that you're willing to stand up for yourself because bullying has become so much bigger.

Blessings and Hugs,
 
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