R
Rand NobleBlade
Guest
i have noticed that alot of people of other belifes and also some christians have had a badd experience with organized religion, perhaps this will help someone, i felt leed to post this and so here it is.
My name is Rob. I was born in 1975, and was baptized in the catholic church the day after i was born( i was a primi and they didnt think i would make it) but i did, and grew up in a family that was 100% Roman Catholic. we went to mass every sunday, and went through all the sacraments. i had a happy childhood, but i was quite sheltered. and so when middle school started I was totaly unprepared for the riggers of adolesence. and so i became the brunt of every joke anyone could imagine. i even tride switching to a catholic school, but my nievaty folowed me there as well, and things became twice as worse casue it was such a smaller school, i had seventh graders makeing fun of me behind my back, casue everyone knew about me. let us say it was aliving Hell.
well around my senior year I started looking into paganism,the occolt and new agism, and sieng as i felt nothing coming from the catholic church that gave me answers, i through myself headlong into it. I read everything i could get my hands on. got totatly into getting my Tarrot read. started plannign my next incarnation so on and so forth.
College only served to further my studies on new age thought, it was also here where i started to debate with christians on how close minded, and judgemental they were. it was also here that i started playing D&D. And belive it or not it was D&D that taught me what faith in God was. My avatar here Rand, was actualy the paladin i played, in a world where it was just God and the devil. Well my paladin got imprisioned in Hell and tourtured by a Night hag. he got free by finnaly realizing that he carried God inside him, even though he was in hell God was with him. Unfortunatly this did not lead me back to christ, it was just a seed that God planted to grow later.
I fluncked out of college and had to live with my parents. my friend and i spent every weekend drinking and doing other things. basicaly my life was spiraling into a dead end. then in the beginning of 1997 i started getting into all these car accidents, and everythign else in my life started to go downhill, i kept thinking that some one out there had it in for me.
well toward the last week in may things came to a head, i totaled my Dad's car. this was the finnal straw. i felt worthelss. i was no use to anyone, and so i tried to kill myself, which my dad (Thankfuly) stopped. i felt wretched,i couldn't even kill myself.
That weekend i sat crying on my bed, and finnaly somthing clicked. i yelled out to God that if he was trying to tell me somthing that he needed to stop beating around the bush and tell me. as i lay back on the bed i felt this energy go through my body, i tingled all over, and then i felt myself floating upward, then i fliped around and when i opend my eyes i was in a room that had alot of antiques in it. set into the wall was a door, and so i went and opend it and it opend onto a lush green lawn, it had just rained and everything felt so fresh. so i stepped out onto the lawn, and looked up and saw a large building, like an old mansion. i walked around to the front and found a sign that said Jesus, Jesus, Jesus cafe. (The Jesus cafe was a christian chat room where i had spent many hours trying to win canverts away from christ, and trying to win back anyone who had been starting to turn toward christ) this made me real confused, i couldnt figure out what was going on. behind me i heard some people and i looked and saw three children siting on a triangle rolling a ball back and forth. i went over to them and said hello. they looked up at me and i had to take a step back, where their eyes should have been were covered over by skin and on the skin were pictures of angels Blowing horns. Who are you, where am I. i asked, they in turn asked me if i Knew Jesus. i said that i knew who he was, and then they said do you Love him. and as soon as they said this i knew that it was the Love of Christ that had been missing from my life. THe void that each one of us has in their lives and tryies unsuccsefuly to fill,well i had found the thing that fills it. and so right there i said Yes, i accept and love him.
the scene changed and there were all these people around me and they each had a cup and they shared their cup with me, and what waqs inside tasted soo good. this one guy however steped up and i couldnt see his face, casue when you tried to look at it it shifted and dissapeared. so i took his glass and right before i drank he put somthing into it and it felt like i had a snot ball in my mouth and so i spit it out. i heard the person swear, and so i told him he didnt belong here and that he needed to be gone, and so he fled. and when i looked up the crowd parted and walking toward me was a person of indescribable beauty. he wore white robes that were stained with blood, and he had wounds in his wrists, side and feet. all i could say was Its you. he then gave me his cup to drink from and when i did all my depression and self loathing were gone.
when i looked up agian i found my self chained to a table in a sweat shop, and thier were thugs with whips and clups walking around and beating myself and the other slaves around the room. they started to beat the guy next to me and so they told me to renounce Jesus. i told them no and so they started to attack me. all i could think of doing was to sing, and so i sang Amazing grace, the louder i sang the harder they hit, untill the guy next to me picked up the song, and then the next and then the next. untill the whole room was singing. well the thugs couldnt stand it anymore and they fled, and then the chains broak and the Lord appeared agian with the group of people from before, and then i started to float away with them waving good-bye. i woke up the morning of May 26th, and it had just rained that night and everyhting felt freash and new. for the first time in years i smiled, and i said I love you Jesus. i then grabbed my journal and wrote down everything i could remeber. in that moment i gave myself to Christ. six years later i am still learnign and growing in Christ. if anyone thinks being a christian is easy they are wrong, its the hardest thing i have ever done, but well worth it. Just like Tomas it took me actualy seeing Jesus to belivie in him.
THe point really is, is that God dose exsist and that he dose appear to us still even today. This humbled me more then anything else, For blessed are those who have belived and not seen, i wish i had accepted Jesus before that nightl, but way glad that i had Belived finnaly in him.
What happend to me is eaxactly what God said he would do for each of us. Seek and you will find. I will leave the ninety -nine and go search for the one who was lost. The father welcomed his son back with open arms, and ordered a feast to celebrate. Just like paul no matter how much wrong we have done, even when we think we are doing right, God will take us back and forgive us.
Take care and God BLess
Rand NobleBlade
Paladin
My name is Rob. I was born in 1975, and was baptized in the catholic church the day after i was born( i was a primi and they didnt think i would make it) but i did, and grew up in a family that was 100% Roman Catholic. we went to mass every sunday, and went through all the sacraments. i had a happy childhood, but i was quite sheltered. and so when middle school started I was totaly unprepared for the riggers of adolesence. and so i became the brunt of every joke anyone could imagine. i even tride switching to a catholic school, but my nievaty folowed me there as well, and things became twice as worse casue it was such a smaller school, i had seventh graders makeing fun of me behind my back, casue everyone knew about me. let us say it was aliving Hell.
well around my senior year I started looking into paganism,the occolt and new agism, and sieng as i felt nothing coming from the catholic church that gave me answers, i through myself headlong into it. I read everything i could get my hands on. got totatly into getting my Tarrot read. started plannign my next incarnation so on and so forth.
College only served to further my studies on new age thought, it was also here where i started to debate with christians on how close minded, and judgemental they were. it was also here that i started playing D&D. And belive it or not it was D&D that taught me what faith in God was. My avatar here Rand, was actualy the paladin i played, in a world where it was just God and the devil. Well my paladin got imprisioned in Hell and tourtured by a Night hag. he got free by finnaly realizing that he carried God inside him, even though he was in hell God was with him. Unfortunatly this did not lead me back to christ, it was just a seed that God planted to grow later.
I fluncked out of college and had to live with my parents. my friend and i spent every weekend drinking and doing other things. basicaly my life was spiraling into a dead end. then in the beginning of 1997 i started getting into all these car accidents, and everythign else in my life started to go downhill, i kept thinking that some one out there had it in for me.
well toward the last week in may things came to a head, i totaled my Dad's car. this was the finnal straw. i felt worthelss. i was no use to anyone, and so i tried to kill myself, which my dad (Thankfuly) stopped. i felt wretched,i couldn't even kill myself.
That weekend i sat crying on my bed, and finnaly somthing clicked. i yelled out to God that if he was trying to tell me somthing that he needed to stop beating around the bush and tell me. as i lay back on the bed i felt this energy go through my body, i tingled all over, and then i felt myself floating upward, then i fliped around and when i opend my eyes i was in a room that had alot of antiques in it. set into the wall was a door, and so i went and opend it and it opend onto a lush green lawn, it had just rained and everything felt so fresh. so i stepped out onto the lawn, and looked up and saw a large building, like an old mansion. i walked around to the front and found a sign that said Jesus, Jesus, Jesus cafe. (The Jesus cafe was a christian chat room where i had spent many hours trying to win canverts away from christ, and trying to win back anyone who had been starting to turn toward christ) this made me real confused, i couldnt figure out what was going on. behind me i heard some people and i looked and saw three children siting on a triangle rolling a ball back and forth. i went over to them and said hello. they looked up at me and i had to take a step back, where their eyes should have been were covered over by skin and on the skin were pictures of angels Blowing horns. Who are you, where am I. i asked, they in turn asked me if i Knew Jesus. i said that i knew who he was, and then they said do you Love him. and as soon as they said this i knew that it was the Love of Christ that had been missing from my life. THe void that each one of us has in their lives and tryies unsuccsefuly to fill,well i had found the thing that fills it. and so right there i said Yes, i accept and love him.
the scene changed and there were all these people around me and they each had a cup and they shared their cup with me, and what waqs inside tasted soo good. this one guy however steped up and i couldnt see his face, casue when you tried to look at it it shifted and dissapeared. so i took his glass and right before i drank he put somthing into it and it felt like i had a snot ball in my mouth and so i spit it out. i heard the person swear, and so i told him he didnt belong here and that he needed to be gone, and so he fled. and when i looked up the crowd parted and walking toward me was a person of indescribable beauty. he wore white robes that were stained with blood, and he had wounds in his wrists, side and feet. all i could say was Its you. he then gave me his cup to drink from and when i did all my depression and self loathing were gone.
when i looked up agian i found my self chained to a table in a sweat shop, and thier were thugs with whips and clups walking around and beating myself and the other slaves around the room. they started to beat the guy next to me and so they told me to renounce Jesus. i told them no and so they started to attack me. all i could think of doing was to sing, and so i sang Amazing grace, the louder i sang the harder they hit, untill the guy next to me picked up the song, and then the next and then the next. untill the whole room was singing. well the thugs couldnt stand it anymore and they fled, and then the chains broak and the Lord appeared agian with the group of people from before, and then i started to float away with them waving good-bye. i woke up the morning of May 26th, and it had just rained that night and everyhting felt freash and new. for the first time in years i smiled, and i said I love you Jesus. i then grabbed my journal and wrote down everything i could remeber. in that moment i gave myself to Christ. six years later i am still learnign and growing in Christ. if anyone thinks being a christian is easy they are wrong, its the hardest thing i have ever done, but well worth it. Just like Tomas it took me actualy seeing Jesus to belivie in him.
THe point really is, is that God dose exsist and that he dose appear to us still even today. This humbled me more then anything else, For blessed are those who have belived and not seen, i wish i had accepted Jesus before that nightl, but way glad that i had Belived finnaly in him.
What happend to me is eaxactly what God said he would do for each of us. Seek and you will find. I will leave the ninety -nine and go search for the one who was lost. The father welcomed his son back with open arms, and ordered a feast to celebrate. Just like paul no matter how much wrong we have done, even when we think we are doing right, God will take us back and forgive us.
Take care and God BLess
Rand NobleBlade
Paladin
.
