Brother problems.....

T

Taledin

New Member
It's not a problem that I have with my brother it's the other way around. Most of the time when I bring this up anywhere everyone says, "Oh, he's just being a big brother," but I don't accept that answer. I don't accept it because how can that be when he is 22 and a mature, nearly successful adult? When I try to talk to him he changes the subject and then diverts his attention to WoW or something more interesting than me. I have friends that I try to talk to this about but one of them has a younger brother so he can't give me very good advice(or so he says) and the other tells me that he doesn't know the situation between me and my brother and so he can't give me any advice. That doesn't make sense to me because they've been there for me in the toughest of situations. So now I turn to the people in this forum for advice. Heck, I haven't even Stated the conflict.

Ok, As I was saying, when I try to talk to him he diverts his attention to something else. And the way he used to be was better because at least I was getting a reaction out of him. The way it used to be was I would ask him something and he would tell me that I was stupid for asking. That ended when he turned 18 then he talked to me until he was 19 and then he quit talking to me altogether. The only time he does is when my mom tells to and If I have a question about a computer or WoW. I don't know what I have done for him to hate me. He said something to me a while back after I had mentioned it and I don't remember what it was but it hurt me so deeply that I wrote a note because I had no time to tell him in person.(I was on my way to the airport) The note stated

Y do you insist on talking down to me as if I am a (bad words)? What have I done and what can I do? I never say anything hurtful to you and I do not lie or steel from you...

You know what? I am tired of this. There is no point in writing a lengthy letter that you will not read. So here is what I have to say without beating around the bush. Taylor, If I come back and you treat me the way you do. I will not talk to you, hang out with you or do anything with you ever again. Or at least until you come to your senses. I know you probably do not care but I do and if you do not understand that and if you do not take my feelings into consideration then you never loved me as a brother at all and I deny the fact that I was even your adoptive brother. Please think about this.

I don't want things to be sour between us. All i want is a brother who understands that I am human. After all he is one of the few people I have in life. >.< if he decides to come to his senses. Someone get back to me. Any advice would be helpful...
 
heh, i hear you. My brother is 24 now and is following the path of destruction to a T. The thing is, they wont listen to us when there in a spot and we cant rely on them. the most we can do is be there if/when they need to rely on us, if that makes sense. past that i really cant talk since we only see each other 1-2x a month even though we live in the same town. just continue to pray. i'll be praying for ur situation though, and hopefully someone else here can shed more light than me
 
LOL!!! As a big brother I have learned that my tenaciousness as a big brother kept my lil bro close to me despite how he seemed to talk above me. Until I finally learned more about him. He eventually wore out everything about himself and began to develop confidence in our bond(big brother not out ta git me lol syndrome) allowing myself to find ways to embrace his independence without encroaching. Jesus points to the benefits of a good listener. Try to use this first before he takes to long figuring it out and struggles to gain your confidence back.
 
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Personally I am the younger brother in my family, and my brother is technically a stepbrother, though I do not consider him so. But I do have a few words fo advice.

1. Pray. Its simple and effective. Be sure to read Mark 11:24-25, Matt. 21:22 - Remember, you've got people here in agreement with you on this.

2. Be an example. I'm not sure if your brother is a christian or not, but either way a great way to be effective in his life to to allow God to shine through in yours. Be sure to read 1 Timothy 4:12, 1 Peter 2:21.

3. Positive words. Words have power in them, and even the smallest utterance of something negative can give Satan a foothold in any situation. Your voice is a tool created by God, use it as such. Be sure to read Prov. 16:23, Matt. 12:34.

4. Patience. This is key. Understanding that you won't see changes overnight is a realization. It's all in God's timing and we must act so accordingly. Be sure to read Prov. 19:11, Prov. 15:18, 1 Cor. 13:4.

First off I must commend you for being honest, coming to others for guidance and prayer. A couple of great options to think about are:

1. Talking to your pastor\youth pastor about this.
2. Asking your parents for a family meeting.

Perhaps having some input from some other adults in your life would be key to figuring out what is going on with your brother and how you can help. I'll be in prayer and agreement with you in the meantime. God bless.
 
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