Depression...I guess?

Kendrik

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Staff member
Hey folks,

So, as you may have seen, my life has changed dramatically in the last half a year. I've moved cross country (back to a city I said I would never return to at that), moved away from family, started a new job, been quite sick a couple times, got a place of my own, got involved in a church, got engaged, still trying to be a full-time student and yet barely making requirements, and the list goes on. So much in my life is amazing even if not everything is, and I know beyond doubt that I am truly blessed beyond measure even when circumstances get tough.

Lately, though, the last two weeks or so, I've realized I'm quite depressed. Seems like all the stress (even "good stress") has been catching up with me, weighing on me. I told my fiancee earlier that I've forgotten how to have fun, that I'm always serious and somber now, and hardly anything like the me I know.

At first, I thought I was just tired, and I hoped it would go away, but it hasn't. I'm overly sensitive right now, overly serious, struggle to enjoy things, struggle to get out of bed.

Heck, I was on Facebook when I saw a pic of a puppy and the caption, "he may only be in your life for a while, but you are his whole life," and had to restrain tears for who knows what reason.

I've started talking with people I trust about this, and I've been praying for a solution, or recovery for lack of a better word, and hoping for its haste. It's really taking its toll on me, and it's no longer just me who's being affected by it. Unfortunately, I can't afford to see a professional right now, but I can ask for your prayers for God giving me myself back.

Thanks, friends. :)
 
Random guess: New can be scary as there is a measure of the unknown, the uncertain, in new. Even new things we hold to be better than before are scary when we can't see where it's all going and we have to leave comforting things behind. Getting married means giving up freedom. Moving to another city, even one you've been to before, means giving up the one you are in.

Also maybe the things you once found fun aren't so much anymore when measured against the value of the things you are doing. It sounds like you are just getting older and are, understandably, feeling reluctant and uncertain. As we end a chapter of our life and move on to a new, uncertain, one we can only trust the path God gives us and try to do his will as we walk it.

...and that's all I got XD.
 
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I need to get to bed, but I couldn't sleep without first posting to say:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

You are not the only Christian to spar with depression. I did. I still have my off days.

Living in a culture that says, "The problem is external, the solution is internal" when the basic tenets of our faith boldly proclaim the opposite can be draining. A somber attitude is not necessarily a problem in and of itself. There are seasons for quiet introspection and there are times when sadness is a valid response in a world with so much pain.

That being said, I will, of course, pray. Having struggled with depression, I can heartily recommend spending time reading the Psalms and Proverbs. Reading the Psalms was especially helpful in that it showed me that I wasn't alone in my experience and that such experience didn't indicate that I was a failure as a Christian.
 
I feel I may have made a mistake by mentioning "fun," unintentionally over-emphasizing that point when it's just a manifestation of the bigger sense of not feeling like myself. Nevertheless, thank you guys for your prayers and truths. :)
 
I too suffer from depression. Brother, there are times when it feels like I can't remember what it was like to be happy, my heart feels like a great void threatening to swallow me and everything around me. Satan wants you to feel alone, you're not. I wish I had the answer but all I can do is echo those to tell you to keep God first in your mind. Spending some quite time in prayer and Scripture sometimes helps me. Open yourself and tell God what you are going through, but also remember to take time to praise and thank Him.

Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Rejoicing can be hard, but praising God can help. Pray your troubles without ceasing. In everything give thanks to God.
 
After thinking over this thread some more last night, I wanted to reiterate my suggestion to pray, but I also wanted to suggest that you might take a look at your diet and consider making some changes.

I strongly suspect that I'm hypoglycemic and if I don't eat well or if I go too long without eating, I feel terrible. I know it's a longshot and I don't mean to discount the spiritual in favor of the physical, but I recommend considering the physical as well.
 
For what it's worth, change of diet and increase in exercise have led to a loss of 35 pounds over the last few months or so (down to 215 from 250).

Thanks for the reminders, Kahiel. :D Been making it a point to keep hymns stuck in my head lately to help keep my mind there, too. :)
 
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