A book in progress...

Chapt0rz 16
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"Can I count down? Please?"
"No, Mike."
"PLEASE?"
"Fine..."
"Three... two... one... KABLOOIE!!"
"That's 'take-off', you idiot."

It was an unusual start to an average takeoff of NASA's revolutionary new space shuttle "Destiny", which was making a typical link-up with the ISS, or International Space Station. What they didn't know was what was waiting for them.

"Commencing space walk," radioed a British astronaut to his American counterpart in the command module.
"Roger that, Red Leader."
"Stop calling me that."

The shuttle pulled up beside the ISS docking station and the space-walking Brit began to hook up the electronic cables between the shuttle and the ISS.
"You are clear to board, crew of Destiny. Weclome to the ISS," said the Brit.
"Reboarding ISS from space walk," he stated, doing so.

In the shuttle, various technicians loaded cargo into the docking module to be taken to the storage facility.
"My word, this stuff is heavy. What's in here, a new Sony 62" LCD TV, which you can get at your local Best Buy for 200 dollars off when bought with six DVDs?" asked an exasperated tech officer.
"They never should've installed the artificial gravity in the loading sector," he grumbled. As he set the containers in the loading dock, a certain semi-sealed box opened for half a second and a huddled form slipped out and into the shadows.
"What was that?" snapped the annoyed tech officer.
"I think it was a stowaway! Who the heck stows away on a flippin' space shuttle?!" cried another technician. "Someone's gotta go after him."
"I'll do this, chums!" shouted the newbie of the group.
"No, Jenkins, don't do this, you're not-" started the officer, but he was cut off by Jenkins' loud shout of fury blaring into his earpiece as he took off down the corridor.
"Oh.... oh my gosh. He just went in!" noted the American in the command module, who was surveying the security monitors.
"What do we do now?" asked an Israeli scientist.
"We stick to the plan, people! Stick to the plan!" barked the tech officer, racing down the corridor after Jenkins.
"Darnit, Leeroy, why do you do this crud?!" he grumbled to himself.
A scream echoed through the hallways of the ISS, followed by a moan that was cut off with a loud thump.
"What'd he say, Smith?" asked the Brit.
"Something like 'at least I have chicken', I'm not sure..." replied the American.
"He likes KFC, I think," replied the Israeli.
"Why did he scream like that, though?" muttered the Brit
"We're about to find out! Someone--or something--is headed your way, people!" said the American.

WildBillKickoff yawned as he watched the evening news in his dark office. A reporter standing outside the NASA headquarters was trying almost unsuccessfully to talk over the wind that buffeted the news team.
"Today, an unknown intruder has somehow attacked the crew of the International Space Station... details to come!"
WBK sat up straight. MaidMirawyn had said something about the ISS in her threat to Chicken Soup!
"ATOWN!!!" he yelled, snatching his coat from its hanger by the door.
"Yes'm?" replied Atown, who was down the hall shooting baskets into his trashcan with crumpled blueprints of rejected invention ideas.
"We need to pay a little visit to HCS, I think. Get Dark Virtue, dorkelf, and ajmuncha. Also, keep C$ on standby. We may need him. Oh, and get DarthDapor. He and Souphead can skydive in if we need serious backup."
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End of Chapter 16

did you catch the WoW reference? :p
 
Wow i didn't know this place even existed. I decided to go outside of SoE forums for once. By the way from what little I have read in your stories they are very funny. I'm gonna have to start from the beginning and work my way through the rest.
 
I know, there's a whole other world outside of GW o.0 :p
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HCS sighed and continued constructing the tiny chip he was designing. His quarters, a bit shabby for one of his intellect (or so he claimed), consisted of a dusty apartment that overlooked a filthy, polluted pond three stories below. A single, sorrowful-looking lightbulb lit the interior; the broken shades were drawn as best he could to cover the windows. It smelled of burnt almonds.

He laid the sautering gun aside and stretched, noisily cracking his knuckles; the noise it made secretly amused him.
"Must you do that? It's annoying," sighed MaidMirawyn, who lay half-asleep on the mattress that was strewn across the floor as a makeshift sleeping arrangement. MM, of course, had a seperate apartment two streets away, but as her new boss worked later and later into the wee hours of the night, she found herself more occupied sleeping than paying attention.
"Yes. It relieves stress. Not as much as it used to, of course, since I only have one biological hand now..." he yawned. "If it bothers you, you can go home or something."
"No," replied Mirawyn. "I want to be here when you finish your little project. Oh, and did you hear the news? Our agents have taken over the ISS."
"Yes, I heard. You've told me that six times already, you know," sighed HCS, who had decided to set aside his handiwork for a while.
"I hope those techs at CGA haven't tracked us yet," said Mirawyn. "I hated to ditch my... car... jet... tank... thing... but they may have followed footprints or something. They're smarter than they look."
"I am at least 90 percent confident that they will not find us!" barked HCS irritably.

Suddenly, someone banged on the door.
"HCS, you in there?!" yelled a somewhat familiar voice. Mirawyn shot HCS a glance that said "I thought as much!"
"Er, 80% positive," corrected HCS.
"This is WildBillKickoff! Open the door or Dark Virtue will... hold on.." there were hused whispers.
"Ajmuncha said he'd torch it. So let us in real quick-like! Chipchopchip!"
"40%..." muttered HCS.
"Chip chop chip? Is that a Jim Gaffigan joke??" snorted Maid Mirawyn.
"Yeah, I think so. Well, let's hide the loot before they blow up half the apartment complex..."
HCS swept the chip and his tools into a bag and tossed the bag out the window while Mirawyn gawked.
"The bag is like bubble wrap. The chip'll be fine."
Moments later, they heard a hissing noise and within three seconds the door had been burned and melted.
"NOBODY MOVE!!!" screamed Dark Virtue, who somersaulted in and raised an M16 threateningly. WBK entered next, followed by Atown and ajmuncha.
"I left my Glock at CGA's HQ, darnit!" stated HCS nonchalantly. "I'll have to make do with my Beretta!" He then overturned the table, shot Atown in the shoulder, and dove behind it. Maid Mirawyn rose quickly and tossed a throwing knife at Dark Virtue, who caught it and flung it to the side. He raised the M16 and emptied an entire magazine into the table. Fortunately for HCS, the table was very thick and had a metal plate on the underside.
WBK attended to Atown's wound while ajmuncha delighted himself with tossing thermite grenades in every concievable direction that did not place his comrades in danger.
"Kaboom kaboom kaboom!!" he squealed, and a second later there was a series of loud bangs followed by a hissing noise as the grenades detonated and sent flames and molten iron spewing everywhere. Maid Mirawyn grunted in annoyance and, careful to avoid the ballistic molten metal flying every which way, dove out the window. HCS cursed and wished he had an assistant with better nerves.
"You can't handle the heat?!" yelled ajmuncha, who was cackling and prancing around the now-brightly lit room. "THEN STAY OUT OF AJ'S KITCHEN, BAY-BEE!!!" He cackled once more and then rolled on the floor giggling. Dark Virtue just rolled his eyes and reloaded his gun.
"You cannot catch me! You're chasing the wind! It's like trying to grasp smoke in your hands!!" yelled HCS, who was considering following Mirawyn on a trip out the open window.
"Call in Dapor and Soup!!" cried Atown, who was now bandaged and ready to fight.
"Righto," replied WBK, who brought out a cell phone from his belt.

"So, if you were stuck on a deserted island, would you eat your own feet if there was no food?" asked Chicken Soup. Darth Dapor pondered this for a moment, only temporarily distracted by the slurping sounds of C$ as he guzzled some Campbells right out of the can.
"Maybe. I'd rather not, though, because then I couldn't walk and would die for sure after that."
"Good point. Er, hold on, I've got a call." C$ pulled out his cell phone and answered.
"Soup here, what's your favorite color?" he said, making Dapor snicker to himself. It was a joke between C$ and him.
"Ah. I see. We'll be right there. Wait--who's that cackling? Did ajmuncha set something on fire again?? Yeah, I thought so. See you then!"
*click*
"Let's go."

HCS made a break for it and leaped through the window. Bullets tore through his shirt but did not harm him as he latched onto a tree branch and swiftly slipped to the ground.
"At least you made it to the ground!" hissed Mirawyn, who was nursing a sprained ankle. "I just landed on a hedge."
"Run, you fool!" hissed HCS back. He snatched up the bag he had tossed earlier and started sprinting, followed by a limping Maid Mirawyn.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!!" A voice hailed them from the sky.
"That sounds like Darth Dapor!" whispered Mirawyn.
"YA!! U NO GET AWAY, CUZ I'M A SERIOUSE KITTIN!!!" screamed another voice.
"Great, it's C$," she grumbled. "Didn't even need to recognize the voice on that one.
"Let's just--OOF!!" grunted HCS as a can of soup smacked him in the face, followed by another in the gut.
"What the--" started Mirawyn. The soup cans then exploded, sending hot broth everywhere.
"Best. Invention. Ever," stated C$, who had landed several yards away.
"What'd you do, put a flashbang in a can of Campbells??" asked Dapor incredulously.
"How'd you know?!" replied a startled C$. He supposed he should make things a little less obvious in the future.
"Shut up, both of you!" yelled Maid Mirawyn, who had a revolver trained on them. "Don't make me use this on you again, Souphead."
"I hate that gun," muttered C$.
"Get used to it," she barked, motioning for them to back up against the wall.
"No time for this, Maid!" yelled HCS, who was now halfway down the street. Mirawyn rolled her eyes and ran.
"I guess I should try to stop them," noted Dapor. He took off after them, summoning his newfound martial arts skills.
"Uh, yeah. Me too," sputtered C$, who preferred more efficient methods (i.e. dispensing with the pleasantries of beautifully used martial arts and just shooting them right then and there), quickly assembled his M24 sniper rifle and took aim.
"YYYYYYYAAAAAAIIII!!!!" shrieked Dapor, leaping ten feet in a single bound and delivering a sharp blow to the back of Mirawyn's knee. She fell with a cry and whirled, ready to fight. HCS paused, as if pondering the situation, and kept running.
"Hescominsoon, what are you doing?! Help me!!" yelled Mirawyn, who was fighting a losing battle against the much swifter and seemingly much crazier Dapor. HCS just kept running. An eerie cry rang across the street, sending a shiver down his spine.
"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!" C$'s war cry. A moment later, a bullet pinged off a road sign two inches away. He then started randomly twisting, turning, jumping, hopping, and dashing in zigzags in an attempt to throw off C$'s aim. It worked. Bullets zinged this way and that, but none came close.
"LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET YOU ANOTHER ROBOT HAND, MECH-BOY! MAYBE AN ARTIFICIAL HEAD!" cried C$. HCS groaned with pain as he tripped over a road block. He painfully raised himself up and then remembered that crosshairs were trained on him.
"Buh bye," breathed C$.
Click.
"Gosh darn it... out of ammo..."
HCS laughed victoriously and made his escape, leaving Maid Mirawyn to fend for herself.
 
wait till I add the twist in the plot!
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[preview]
MaidMirawyn yawned and was about to fall asleep when she noticed a strange lump protruding from HCS's snoring form ten feet away. She slowly and stealthily got up and slipped over, avoiding the campfire. She lifted the flap and saw HCS sleeping, but there was a metal box attached to his back! "What in the world..." she whispered. As stealthily as possible, she poked the skin around it. It felt... fake. She pricked it with her finger nail and part of it lifted. She pulled back and to her horror she discovered whirring, moving, and churning robotic parts.
"If this isn't the real HCS... then where is..."
Instantly, HCS awoke and spun around, striking her on the forehead and she slipped into unconsciousness.
 
Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. Maybe C$ knocked him unconscious with a can of soup. Maybe Genesis199[whatver the numbers in her name are] locked him in a fortress of d00m. Or maybe he's pouting and watching soaps and eating graham crackers
 
ChickenSoup said:
Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. Maybe C$ knocked him unconscious with a can of soup. Maybe Genesis199[whatver the numbers in her name are] locked him in a fortress of d00m. Or maybe he's pouting and watching soaps and eating graham crackers
Click to expand...


STOF INTEWWWUPWN MMM SOWWWP OPWWWA
 
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