ENTRY #1
Title: Ye olde public library.
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“The third time it‘s happened!” the head librarian told Mrs. Smith in exasperation.
“Hoodlums, Miss Hadley.” Mrs. Smith commiserated sympathetically, loading her books into a bag.
“What is happening to this country? It’s completely uncivilized behavior.” another librarian sniffed.
“Good morning, ladies.” the custodian said cheerfully as he walked into the library.
“Roberts, you’re late again.” the head librarian said sternly.
“Sorry, ma’am - my wife had a hard time adjusting the uh.. ‘vest’ to fit my shoulders.” he apologized.
“Vests?” Mrs. Smith asked curiously.
A police officer walked into the library behind Roberts and blew his whistle.
“Ready for inspection?”
“Do we really have to do this, Sergeant Baker?” one of the librarians sighed.
“Chief’s orders, ma’am. We don’t want anyone getting injured.” Baker answered.
“He’s right. You can’t be too careful.” Roberts nodded, filling his bucket from a sink in the janitor closet.
Baker blew his whistle again and the librarians slowly lined up. The police officer walked past slowly, examining them.
“Miss Johnson, where’s your Kevlar vest?” he asked sharply.
“Oh - it was too big, Officer Baker.” she said. “And it - it made me look like I was about to have a baby.”
From the closet, the janitor laughed loudly.
“I’m sorry, but you have to wear it or you aren’t allowed inside the library.” he warned.
“Mary, I can help you make it smaller.” Mrs. Smith suggested.
“Mrs. Smith - where’s your vest?” Baker boomed.
“..mine?”
“Everyone who comes into the library has to wear a Kevlar vest. Didn’t you see the sign?”
“Well, I - uh..”
“Miss Hadley, get her a vest.” the police officer ordered.
The door flew open and three teenagers wearing paintball gear dashed in.
“AAAah! It’s them!” Miss Johnson screamed, ducking behind the front desk.
The teenagers grabbed a video sitting on the counter, sprayed paintballs at everyone, then ran out.
“- come back here!” Officer Baker shouted, running after them.
“Another mess to clean up.” Roberts sighed wearily, picking up his squeegee.
Miss Hadley looked down at her blouse and shook her head sadly.
"This was my favorite blouse.."
“They took our last copy of ‘An Inconvenient Truth’.” another librarian moaned.
“Last time I was here there were five copies on display..” Mrs. Smith said puzzledly.
"Those hoodlums stole the others on their last three visits." the librarian explained.
"Well, no wonder!" the janitor exclaimed, pointing at one of the bookshelves.
The biography of Al Gore that had been prominently displayed there was specially targetted by the teenagers - his face was completely covered with paint splatters.
"I hate working at libraries in Republican townships..." Miss Hadley muttered.
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Great theme, dorkelf.