Mankind lives for a dead hope, all the most valuable things on Earth will fade away.1 peter 1:3,4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.
God says that He saved me to a living hope, one full of His abundant mercy, one that will last forever.
Which one have I been pursuing? I don’t mean lightly, I mean with all my heart and mind. Am I meditating on His law day and night? Hardly, seems to me that in eq2/wow/mmo I meditate day and night. I go to bed dreaming about the phat loot I got that night and wake up wondering what my next goal for my toon will be.
I have such horrible misplaced hope, I am hoping in worthless, dead things. Satan has me like an ipod shuffle. Always another one on the playlist coming...“Here comes the next game release its gonna sell 1 million…hope, hope, hope, bummer it turned out to have a horrid launch and the company nerfed all the classes since beta…well there is always this game coming out on the 5th…hope, hope, hope ohh crud my system can’t handle it…guess I will wait for the new game and go back to WoW in the meantime, hope, hope, hope…”
It is like I am hopeing for the next big thing to distract me, the next great game release that will keep me glued to it for hours upon hours and satisify. I am hoping in anything BUT Jesus. Allowing my self to be satisfied way to easily
I don’t have a serious mind, I fill it with game knowledge and quest info. I don’t fill it with the Word. Do I kid myself that somehow my toon will make an eternal difference?
I have a failure to thrive in Christ, I am supposed to be living a holy, transformed life but instead I am letting myself become satisfied with valueless entertainment.
There is an assassin out there with unlimited ammo. He constantly snipes me with pride, lust, financial worries, depression, distractions, and misdirection. It is time I resist him!1 peter 5:6-9 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him.
It did not happen overnight but it has happened. Men's ministry at church was the initial input. It really started with Mormon missionaries of all things. They kept coming to my door forcing me to search for answers as I flailed around trying to defend my faith. This time in the word grew into more as I listened to sermons on YouTube. Then I made a huge step forward and redeemed my commute. In the car I continually listened to podcast sermons by greats like: Matt Chandler, John Piper, Mark Driscoll, and Tim Keller. This broke me down. I would pull into my driveway sobbing most days, finishing off a sermon that cut to the bone.
A little time in the Word before breakfast was not enough; it wouldn’t even hold me over to lunch before the temptations to check the forums or read up on the next beta coming. I considered a 2 month fast on all video games. This was unbelievably hard, but was a great step forward. My mind cleared just enough to listen and hear. A men’s conference over a weekend sealed the deal. After spending hours and days seeking God He gave me the next step to take…make the fast indefinite and surrender it all. No more filling my mind with worthless trinkets of the Earth. Live the life of a new-man, one clothed in holiness not in the armor of a worldly game. I want to be transformed, I need to be, but I can’t do it! I soooo need His strength for this. I know He will give it if I continue to seek Him daily, hourly, moment by moment. I want to be drenched in the Holy Spirit!!
I had different plans for what to write here, but in the end, it was not getting written and I was putting it off. So stream of consciousness is what you get.
I am sacrificing videogames at the foot of the cross. I pray to God to take them away and give me the strength to never crave them again, to never waste my time and WASTE MY LIFE on such novelties. From the xbox to the PC to every last timewaster on Facebook and my phone, they will not have a hold on my mind/time/heart.
I love many of you and thank God for your friendships. I would love to continue knowing you through emails or IM (pst for info) but it will not happen here on the CGA forums. This place is probably the worst of the addictions for me. So easily accessible, so much content on all things gaming, and hundreds of fellow Christians to allow me to lie to myself, thinking I am doing OK.
TLDR version: I love you all, but I love Christ way more, and that means ewok is signing off for good.