In the Words of a Gerbil...

PeekABoo

Official Internet Mom
Staff member
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Tuesday, June 18, 2019 at 9:40 PM from toj.cc Mighty Gerbil:

(dons excessively calm voice...)

Welcome to the Joy of TF2.
Today we're going to paint a pretty picture on Toj TF2 game night.

First, you're going to want to get out your melee, find someone
and beat the devil out of him.

After making sure your cart is all nice and clean of enemies
make sure to lay down a thick coat of your opponents blood.
Get some Medic White and Phthalo Pyro on your team and go to town.

Do you want a little spy that lives in a bush next to the point,
you can do it... it's your server.
Remember on Toj we don't have button mistakes...
we just have happy map accidents.


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PeekABoo

Official Internet Mom
Staff member
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Tuesday, July 23, 2019 at 9:55 PM from toj.cc Mighty Gerbil:

It's that time again!

Time to file your taxes? ... NO!
Time to take out the garbage? ...NO!
Time of the season for loving? ...NO!
Time to drink from the fire hose? ...NO!
Time to duel? ...NO!

It's time to join Toj TF2 Tusday!

Toj TF2 Tuesday better than at LEAST half of those possibilities!

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PeekABoo

Official Internet Mom
Staff member

Tuesday, July 30 at 10:14 PM from toj.cc Mighty Gerbil:

(...pss, hey, now you're a rock star...)

Some Pyro once told me her team was gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest knife on the Spy
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger on her flare gun
and the shape of hat on her forehead

Well, the engineers start coming
and they don't stop building
Bled all the fools and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to play for fun
Your team gets the cart and the dead get numb
So much to cut, so much to flee
So what's wrong with taking the back way?
You'll never know if you turn pro
You'll never uber if you don't glow

Hey now, you're a pub star
Get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a Spy Star
Get a streak on, use blade
And all rage quitters are gold
Only random crits break the game

It's a fools chase, and they say get bolder
They're holed up now, wait 'til you're the flag holder
But the meatier men beg to differ
Judging by the holes from the gunfight victor
The life we have is getting pretty thin
The Pyro's getting warm so you might as well go in
My coat's on fire, how 'bout yours?
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

Hey now, we're a server
Get your game on, join Toj
Hey now, we're a server
Get a hat on, well played
And sure Team Fortress is old
Only on our server we break the mold

Musical Bridge~

Hey now, you're a pub star
Get your game on, go play
Hey now, you're a Spy Star
Get a streak on, use blade
And all rage quitters are gold
Only random crits break the game

Somebody once asked
Could I be that snake in the grass?

...and then I stabbed him, so yes I was, tee hee.


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PeekABoo

Official Internet Mom
Staff member
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Tuesday, August 6 at 9:44 PM from toj.cc Mighty Gerbil:

(looks at you with dewy eyes.)

For just 3 hours a Tuesday you can...

*Send a newb to a spawn room.
*Join the "Run for Your Life" every time you are outnumbered.
*Save the environment by planting stickies.
*Raise awareness for gas mask speech impediments.
*Donate rockets to the explosion-less.
*Promote racial harmony by purging the filthy Red or Blue team.
*Feed sandviches to the mortally wounded.
*Provide medical care to victims of digital violence.
*Keep a player warm for the rest of their life with your flamethrower.
*Adopt an adorable, knife wielding, Gerbil who will follow you everywhere.
*Surpass Hands Across America and Conga Across A Map.

Won't somebody think of the children... you can pwn online?

Give your time to Toj TF2 game night. We may not be poor,
but we can be poor losers and are frequently called dirty bums....

(Spy needs a taunt of him playing the tiniest violin in the world.)


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PeekABoo

Official Internet Mom
Staff member
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Tuesday, August 13, 2019 from toj.cc Mighty Gerbil:

Do you like TF2 and Spam?

Would you play it for a hat? Would you play it with your cat?
Would you play it on a chair? Would you play it sitting there?
Would you play it with a random dude? Would you play it for Youtube?
Would you play it with an emote? Would you play it with what I wrote?

You will like it!
Just wait and see!
You will like it!
Come play with me!

Would you play it from the coast? Would you with an Aerithos?
Would you play it with a Noodle? Would you with his brother Pamfafoofle?
Would you play it on a Tuesday? Would you with the newb Ray?
Would you play it with a Banana? Would you play it, well can ya?

...I guess if I HAVE too, but, seriously we love you Ray... because rhymes aren't easy and your name fit perfectly!

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PeekABoo

Official Internet Mom
Staff member
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Tuesday, August 20, 2019 from toj.cc Mighty Gerbil:

On Top of The Heavy
Written by Pamfafoofle
(To be sung to the tune of “On Top of Spaghetti”)

On top of the Heavy
All covered with crits
I lost my control point
When Gerbil took it.

It was captured by RaySoul
But guarded by Doc
‘Til he was sniped by Banana—
That was quite a shock!

Aerithos fought bravely
But slowly he fell
To the antics of TroutTracks
And Noodles as well.

The control point’s now crowded
With Peek and with Karx
Bird ran to its rescue
But died in some sparks.

(Musical Bridge)...

The team is all dead now.
They clearly have lost.
The control point’s been taken
At quite a great cost.

So if you’re a Heavy
All covered with crits
Defend your control point;
Don’t let them take it.

(And since you can’t defend your control point without playing TF2, join now!)


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The Mighty Gerbil

Tribe of Judah TF 2 Chapter Leader & CGA Admin
Staff member
The reference link (play the video as you read along here, note it has a long orchestral outro)

Evening! Today's Kritzkast calls for Blue Spies!

My gun is aligning in my eye, there is a crowd in sight
It's topped gaming everybody's in to play
And don't you know it's a beautiful Tuesday, hey

Gunning down the retinue, see how my gun offlines "Mightily"
In this ditty, on the tweets which once were witty
Mr. Blue Spy is killing here today, hey

Mr. Blue Spy, please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long, where will we get pronged?

Mr. Blue Spy, please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long, where will we get pronged?

Hey you with the stabby face, welcome to the Blue man chase, a swell ablation
Mr. Blue Spy's out there waiting, and today is the day we've waited for, oh

Mr. Blue Spy, please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long, where will we get pronged?

Hey there, Mr. Blue, we're so un-eased to be with you
Look around, see what you do, everybody's miles from you

Hey there, Mr. Blue, we're so un-eased to be with you
Look around, see what you do, everybody's miles from you

Mr. Blue Spy, Mr. Blue Spy, Mr. Blue Spy-y

Mr. Blue, you did it right, but soon comes Mr. Knife
Creeping over, now his shank is in your shoulder
Never mind, I'll remember you this, I'll remember you this way

Mr. Blue Spy, please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long, where will we get pronged?

Hey there, Mr. Blue, we're so un-eased to be with you
Look around, see what you do, everybody's miles from you...
 
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The Mighty Gerbil

Tribe of Judah TF 2 Chapter Leader & CGA Admin
Staff member
So recently TF2 Spy enjoyer Spynamite finished building a new computer and below is the text he sent me about it from an, ahem, "Old Town Road" ...

Yeah, I'm gonna take Valve's Source from an old download
I'm gonna Sp-y 'til I can't no more
I'm gonna take Valve's Source from an old download
I'm gonna Sp-y 'til I can't no more

I got a Ge-force in my rack
Mouse jack is attached
Mat is matte black
Got to boot WD black after patch
Buyin' without remorse, ha
Cost more than a Porsche
I win in the tally
Yours can't hold a torch, now

Can't nobody sell me nothin'
You can't sell me nothin'
Can't nobody sell me nothin'
You can't sell me nothin'

Runnin' on a nuke' reactor
Stream quicker than an adder
Completed my baby
You can't go any faster
My knife is a 8k movie
Bull fightin' the Hoovies
My toy's frames top Fuji
One second on my bootie

Can't nobody sell me nothin'
You can't sell me nothin'
Can't nobody sell me nothin'
You can't sell me nothin'

Yeah, I'm gonna take Valve's Source from an old download
I'm gonna Sp-y 'til I can't no more
I'm gonna take Valve's Source from an old download
I'm gonna Sp-y 'til I can't no more

Hat on, quick-play, Shivin' like a pub star
Spent a lot of money on my gold-plated spacebar
Baby's got a habit: flyin' pings and many screen draws
Gunnin' down Demos with Pavarotti shot calls
Got no nemesis, I've done hewn all that
I'm like a secret agent man with a chip on crack
Wish I could roll on back to that old download
I wanna Sp-y 'til I can't no more

Yeah, I'm gonna take Valve's Source from an old download
I'm gonna Sp-y 'til I can't no more
I'm gonna take Valve's Source from an old download
I'm gonna Sp-y 'til I can't no more

...
...
... Note Spynamite didn't actually send me this... sorry Spynamite! /runs away
 
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