I Feel Like a Jumbled Mess Inside

Soulivium

Soulivium

Tribe of Judah Warframe Chapter Leader
Staff member
Hi everyone. Apologies for the long rant.

Lately, I've been feeling depressed, tired, and stressed. And I've been going through a lot of personal long-term family issues that I don't feel comfortable sharing here. I'm not quite sure if these emotions are something temporary, but it's a struggle to manage everyday life and I feel like I'm slipping and just wanna quit.

I feel like I have a lot of burdens to bear on my shoulders and being the only one who's working, it's getting harder to manage my time. While I am thankful that after working for some 2.5 years as a cashier, I've gotten a new job over the winter break that's closer to what I like to do, but it has another set of responsibilities and stresses I must learn and adapt to. Just the transition over to the new job was stressful as it was a new experience for me.

And then there's school. I have such a hard time trying to sit down and do my assignments but I either don't have the energy/motivation to do it or get distracted by the computer. I've got this and next semester left to graduate and I've gotten so far, but it's hard just trying to get to work on assignments. I wanna do well in my classes, but I'm worried that the way I'm managing my time and handling my assignments now will hurt me in the long run...

I'm also the worship leader and Bible study teacher at my church. I'm not stressed with church, but if I have such an internal/emotional turmoil going on in my heart, that wouldn't be healthy, would it?

Long story short, I'm going through a lot of things right now and it's making me feel like garbage. Whenever I try to talk about it, sometimes people don't seem to respond much or ignore so I just put my thoughts aside. I'm thankful that I at least have a few friends who are kind to listen though, yet sometimes I feel alone.

All I ask is for anybody here to pray for me that better days will be coming and that I will overcome these hard times. Sometimes this life is just agonizing and exhausting, be it physical or emotional.

Thank you.
 
Prayed.

I'm not much on the helpful advice but we can at least listen :) . I know what it's like to want to quit though. I'd guess you might want to make the time to find your motivation, what you are doing it all for in God and come back renewed. Pretty generic answer I know but it's the best I got.

Good to see you on the forums again though Soul :) .
 
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Praying. I'm encouraged when I read the scripture and see God takes the jumbled messes inside of us and creates new things. He's up to something.
 
Praying for ya.

Just a thought, with much prayer, if it is possible that you can take off from leading your Bible study it may be wise to let someone else lead it for a short time. While you said it is not stressing you, it is good to take a break. It sounds like you need one. Sometimes we can be so busy in serving that we run ourselves dry. You don't want to get burnt out from your serving, and with everything else going on in your life you may want to let someone else serve (if possible) in your place temporarily.

Don't let all of this get you down. It's not always easy, but trust in God, and let him have your troubles.
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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Philippians 4:6-7
 
Well here is my best answer some times in God we go through struggles and stresses so that God can test our faith in Him which I've come to realize even more the past few weeks with my church situation. I think us as Christians we tend to think when we go through struggles that means were doing something wrong or Christ isn't with us but its just times when God refines us and makes us more into what He called us to be. But I agree with phoenix if its possible maybe take a break for a few weeks from teaching we all need breaks I've needed it as a youth pastor, well and use that time to just pray, fast, and seek God. But one thing God told me when I was going through a hard time in my life is that the only true work come through presence, so taking some time in focusing on God will help u through ur job and school and also increase the fruitfullness of ur ministry. well that's my best answer.
 
Will pray for the Lord to fill you with his satisfying love, and for the Spirit to become a second (or third, fourth, fifth..etc.) wind to your soul in this time of distress. Glad to be able to enter into this situation with you, digitally or otherwise. Let him be the single delight of your heart in this time and he will fill your cup with all that he is. :)
 
Thanks everyone for your prayers and support.

An update:

My mom got in a car accident about 2 days ago. Thankfully, she wasn't seriously hurt and the car wasn't totaled. Unfortunately, the car's airbag deployed and the headlight/hood got damaged. Not only that, she ended up getting a ticket for "failing to control her speed" or whatever that means.

And we got a letter from our apartment managers telling us that we will need to leave after our contract ends because of our apartment's terrible condition. I hate to say it, but we haven't been doing a good job keeping our place clean. It's hard to maintain it when there's so much stuff that my mom has brought in over the years and we still have a long way to go in getting rid of all the unnecessary ones.

I'm feeling overwhelmed at this point as I will have to figure out how to deal with the after effects of the car accident, finding another place to live in, and several other underlying issues dealing with my mom's health and such.

I know I shouldn't worry too much about these things, but it's hard when dates and deadlines loom over my head like a cloud and my life seems to crumble apart piece by piece.
 
i dont have to read this because i have the answer for you. b/c i myself have gone through this and now i can finally use the answer God gave me.
Sometimes when you feel like everything is falling apart, there actually falling into place!!
 
Will continue to pray for your situation. A little note on keeping a house or apt. clean, rent or own it can be difficult to keep up on cleaning. I know, despite being retired/disabled we have a very busy life and struggle with that item too. Not helped by the fact that we moved from a 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom home. But this is really God's home and we try to keep that in mind. It takes a lot of work and the right mindset to keep it well enough for Christ to move in at a moments notice. I will pray for you if you pray for me.
 
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