Part two:
What of those who have surrogates or those who adopt? These things are fixes for people who are broken but one does not break people to have them. Who wants to rely on strangers, a doctor and surrogate, to dictate if you may have children? Who makes orphans or says it is good to be an orphan? Is it not better that a child's natural parents love them as intended? In the past a bond of blood was wrongly everything (see Henry VIII) but now people make it as nothing when the truth is it is something and something important. It is easier for a parent to dismiss a child who is not theirs if the emotion dies but blood remains even in hate. Sadly marriage, emotions and memories can all be dismissed but in blood a man and woman are forever physically bound together in a child literally made of them. To those who have lost a spouse to see that child is to see a living part of who you once loved, it is not without significance. I don't doubt the love between an adopted child and parent. What the world has broken, God can make whole, but who can look in a mirror and not see their biological parents? On Earth something always remains, a scar from a sinful imperfect world, which is only removed in Heaven.
Now in regard to her specifically. You seem to have known her for a while so I'd assume her transsexual desire is either relatively new or was at least not dominant when you began dating. Perhaps it was a back and forth chicken and egg deal building over time but the effect is the same. I was on a scrim team once with a bisexual. On his Steam page he had "I started pretending to be bisexual in school to be cool and then it turned out I actually was" (note those aren't the exact words but the substance of it). Clearly some in the LGBTQ community are influenced not only by sexual desire but desire for acceptance and support. Considering her depression this may be the case. Accepting everything and denying the consequences isn't a foundation that can last, consequences just don't go away regardless of how many steps and people you put between you and them. Christ took our consequences, our sins, and died from them. Avoid it, deny it, yell so you can't hear it but the truth is these people have a God shaped hole in their hearts which can only be filled by Christ. Perhaps if you can get her more involved in a Christian group, church or better yet a Christian support group for this and her depression it may help. One that is supportive of her being what she is, and not him, but it's a delicate situation. Accept the sinner, but not the sin, is often seen as rejecting the sinner. Sadly it's far easier for people to go where people tell them what they want to hear not what they need to hear.
What about happiness then? The truth is you simply won't always be happy in this life. Three times Paul prayed that a thorn in the flesh would be taken from him. It was not. My mother has been sick for two decades. I will never have a harem of women
. There are some things we simply won't or should not have. Yet if we focus only on the things we cannot have we risk losing or destroying the good things God has given us. Does your girlfriend have any desire to have children? Yet if she goes down this path she will never have children of her own. Who will be there when she is old? No comfort will come then when you sit alone forgotten. When we live we hope to change the world with our faith in Christ but it is our children we raise with such care hoping they will do what we could not.
What about acceptance by people? I believe women struggle with this more than men but social acceptance is not a thing Christians should strive for. Doing right by God always comes first and we all stand alone before Him in the end accountable for ourselves not others. In humility I will look to others to see if I am wrong but if they can give no answer to my questions the masses do not make something right. If we sincerely believe there is a Heaven and Hell a person's salvation takes precedence above any fear of social rejection. Yes we must choose our words with kindness, love and patience but we cannot stay silent or worse fall into being complicit with sin and say we care. Why are you friends because you care about them or because you want them to care about you? Selfish people who only like you because you condone whatever they want, regardless of consequences, aren't friends and aren't worth failing God.
This trial you are enduring is part of being Christian Brickbro, possibly the most important. Only when our faith in Christ is tested do we know we believe Him. Salvation is by faith, not works, but faith should compel us to action.
Matthew 7:21-23
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven,
but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’
To either go with the world for temporal "happiness" passing consequences around or do what is right by God is always the choice.
Let her know you care about her but that you cannot go with her if she chooses this path. What would be the reason even? If you aren't intending her as a prospect for marriage, then physical relationship, and children (in order please TY) you can basically do everything else without being married. Yes marriage has a specific romantic kind of love but how would anyone tell the difference between roommate friends, or siblings who love each other unless there are actions (words are actions too) which define that state. Perhaps she will always suffer with this temptation, perhaps her mind will change, I earnestly pray she finds strength in God not people. Regardless do not believe those saying she has no choice in her actions. On Earth we will always be burdened with some temptation but it is our choice to act on it. To believe otherwise is to say we have no free will or are not accountable to God for our actions. That we fail and suffer gives meaning and value to when we choose correctly. Choose correctly do what is right by God before doing what you think will make you happy.
As to suicide. Believe me I understand what it's like to want to give up, when you are good for nothing and fail at everything, but there are things in life you cannot or should not have. When I've thought of suicide it wasn't a condemnation to Hell that stopped me but that I don't want to stand before God and say I gave up. That I rejected His plan and purpose for me. I have sinned too much to expect a "well done my good and faithful one" but to be told I didn't even try, no, I couldn't take that. I hope and pray for a "you tried very hard". In the beginning we fear God for his wrath but as we come to know His love we fear disappointing our Father Proverbs 1:7 . I remember how children hold their breath if they don't get what they want. Thoughts of suicide are more nuanced and deep than that. One often just wants everything to go away.
I take both of you and thoughts of suicide very, very, seriously but to God we are children and us wanting something doesn't make it right. It goes to the heart of what and who we should be pursuing first in our lives. A tough pill to swallow I know but not as tough as standing before God to explain why you are there. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind Brickbro it is for Him we live, or if called to die, not for ourselves. I know it's hard but have faith and hope in Him.
I hope I wasn't too rambling or cruel Brick. Christ and the body of Christ should be our comfort and support group but we also reprove each other. Doing both in the earnest pursuit of God's will. That's what it means for iron to sharpen iron the very tag you wear. If you want to talk more or privately that's fine and I can try to get with you but know while I am not without thought my experience in the world is little. It's really time to seek a professional Christian, emphasis Christian, counselor or psychiatrist. If you don't know one talk to your Pastor. Just be wary of those with easy answers. Talk to them alone first and then with her if you can get her to. Too often Christians succumb to secular pluralism allowing everything to get people in the pews in what amounts to a belief in nothing. There can be no salvation without sin. No victory without temptation. Any belief without a right and wrong path, without consequences, is pointless since it will happen regardless of what you do.
Lots of tough choices and work ahead of you Brickbro. I'll pray for you, her and that my words were received in the helpful spirit intended. I'd miss your death threats on Steam if it wasn't :/ (to bystanders here it's threats to kill me in TF2 not real life). 10+ hour post Gerbil needs a break now XD .
![[ISI]Brickbro](/forums/data/avatars/m/9/9424.jpg?1550089399){kind=avatar}
