Don't apologize. 404 is a skilled group of people, and skill in public servers very rarely translates to skill in clan matches. I probably should have warned you that your first few times can be very rough. My first match in CyB against NCG ended with my illustrious score of -4 kills, 31 deaths.
You may have been playing on the wrong servers. You have to play with people better than you to get better. Here are some that I reccommend:
#lastrights .1v1. ut2004://69.93.197.184:7777
3spn.com ArenaMaster ut2004://66.150.107.156:7777
3spn.com Team ArenaMaster ut2004://66.150.107.157:7777
::LOB:: Clan Public 1v1 ut2004://64.237.35.117:7777
[toj.cc] Tribe of Judah 2v2 TDM ut2004://69.28.220.97:7777
{dKc} Archon's Playground ut2004://67.19.1.163:7777
{dKc} Archon's Playground #2 ut2004://67.19.1.165:7777
{dKc} Full Spectrum Team ArenaMaster ut2004://67.19.1.166:7777
{dKc} The Experience ut2004://67.19.1.162:7777
Figment's Mojo Server ut2004://66.208.105.243:7777
Liandri.com Team ArenaMaster Clan Server ut2004://69.31.96.183:7777
Liandri.com 1v1 ut2004://69.31.96.187:7777
The Factory TDM ut2004://216.151.95.137:7777
::LOB:: The Fractionary ut2004://64.237.35.119:7777
«c» Unpara11e1ed.1v1 ut2004://38.118.161.198:7877
In general, it's best to stay away from servers that aren't running UTComp. Getting used to playing with hitsounds and brightskins will be one thing that can help you. It also provides handy features such as muting the sound of your own footsteps so you can hear those of others. If you don't like the standard teammate/blue and enemy/red brightskins, you should change them. I use teammate/pink (green slider all the way down, others all the way up) and enemy/green (red and blue slider all the way down, green all the way up). I use those colours because there is very rarely any maps that use those colours.
Oh, and I fixed the link on the demo page. Sorry, it was a typographical error. I write those pages in the new state-of-the-art version of Notepad.