Good discussion. I'm a writer so I tend to get lengthy, I'll try really hard not too. lol
My sons are now 16 and 18.5, so I'm done with this stage thankfully! My 18 year old has decided to be a pastor. I kind of struggled through this as they were younger too. I had a friend who did not celebrate any of the holidays and was very adamant with telling her children that none of those things were real. Those kids suffered a lot during their school years as they were not allowed to participate in any of the holiday festivities at school. I knew I wouldn't do that to my kids.
One thing my kids knew was that I would not lie to them, it was a line drawn in the sand. So how to walk the line between the two "worlds" was what I had to figure out. In fact, when my son finally asked if they were real, he started out with, "Mom, I know you won't lie to me, so I want to ask, is Santa real?"
This is what I did, which I don't see it as right or wrong, just my way of walking the line.
As far as Santa goes, he also celebrated Jesus. Santa was kind enough to bring gifts to them to celebrate Jesus's birth. That was the whole reason for getting gifts. Which, in Christian reality is true. If it wasn't Jesus's birth, we wouldn't be celebrating Christmas in the first place. Many times we would even have a birthday cake for Him. When talking about Santa, I basically talked about the real St. Nicholas. When they were brave enough to ask if he was real, I figured they were ready for the fact that I actually brought the gifts and that I did it because I loved them and I wanted to celebrate Jesus's birth. I also told them about St. Nicholas and the good things he did and how the whole "Santa Claus" thing came about. And that I was their own personal St. Nick. They thought that was pretty cool.
As far as the Easter Bunny, I'm not sure they ever really believed in that. However, again, the Easter Bunny just wanted to celebrate Jesus's death and resurrection. As part of that he brought treats to the kids. I would talk about how the eggs represented new life. Honestly, I never made a big deal about the Easter Bunny coming, he just kind of came. It wasn't like, "Hurry up and get in bed the Easter Bunny is coming tonight," type thing. Because I didn't make a big deal out of him, they didn't think a lot of him either.
The Tooth Fairy, now that was interesting. I never took much measure in relating it to Jesus or anything else. She just kind of came when the teeth started falling out. I did say the Tooth Fairy came, because I was the tooth fairy lol. And you know, this was the one that they had the hardest time accepting as not real and seemed most disappointed about. I think I could have handled her much better. Eh, live and learn.
I feel we shouldn't lie to them. If they ask for a truth, we need to give it to them on an age appropriate level. I also think that we can not remove ourselves from this world and therefore we need to learn to navigate through it, just as Jesus did. When we make the holiday's focused on these characters, we set them up for disappointment. Yet, when we rob them of participation in school functions, we alienate them at an age when they really aren't ready to handle it. It's a tough thing to deal with.
Where we focus our lives will be where our kids focus theirs. If we use these childhood characters to focus on Jesus, I think we help separate the fact that they are not real and he is. Many of the biggest revolutions for faith happened because a Christian leader chose to use the symbols of the day in order to teach about Christ. St. Patrick is one of the best examples of this. Study his life and you will see that he took many of the pagan and druid symbols and used them to basically eliminate the culture. The whole reason that Christmas is celebrated on the day it is relates to Christian leaders wanting to overcome the pagan holiday at that time and guess what - it worked! They didn't ignore the other holiday, they just changed what was celebrated on that day. (Just a side note that I learned later in life, when we tell them Jesus was born on Christmas day, that is a lie. He was born closer to Easter. And most of the story of Jesus's birth is a lie as well - like Mary riding on a donkey, there were three kings. O.O)
Oh, and Halloween, well, I let my kids dress in an appropriate way. It was just a day to dress up and get candy. For several years when they were younger, I typed up a thank you note for the treat with an invitation to our church. I explained to the kids what they were, that we would hand them out, and why. So when they went to a house and got their candy, they handed the homeowner the note and said thank you. As they got older, I would reveal a little more about what the night was about and how we needed to be careful in our focus. We also had a God's Light Night at our church and passed out a huge bag of treats, provided a warm fire in the parking lot, popcorn, hot dogs, and hot chocolate for free, and playing some hip Christian music. Wasn't long until people were hanging around and just visiting - I can guarantee you we changed what that night meant in that town.
Anyway, that's my take on it - Where's the focus? Focusing on Christ whether it's Santa Clause, a four leaf clover, or a simple thank you for a treat - makes them all become a teaching and witnessing moment.
Well that's my two cents, well, more like a bucks worth!
Love the discussion though, can't wait to see what others think!
Abea (minecraft)
I did a blog on Easter Symbols and some questions about what is fact and fiction about Jesus's Birth, you might be surprised at what you can learn about them.
Marcie's Blog On the right hand side there is a place to select Categories, pick holiday's and you'll see all of the ones related to holidays.