Time for the full 30 Minute Review.
Capcom's latest Resident Evil game is not a standard entry in the series, but rather an on-rails shooter reminiscent of House of the Dead 2 and 3. As one might expect, the game's controls put the player behind the camera and turn the Wii Remote into a gun. (Cue inane Jack Thompson rant in 3, 2, ...) The game is rated MA for zombie-on-human violence, so this title, like all RE games, is not suitable for the younger players.
An interesting addition to the on-rails shooter formula is the ability to pan the camera ever-so-slightly up, down, left, or right using the analog stick on the Wii Nunchuk. In theory, this sounds like an enhancement, but, in practice, the extra control is just enough to frustrate the player with its illusion of control without having any real impact on the game. I understand Capcom wanted to add a dash of spice to the formula popularized (and some might say perfected) in the House of the Dead series without going so far as to add the step-pedal action familiar to fans of the Time Crisis series. The compromise feels awkward, tacked on, and frustrating.
Think back to your childhood, when you could almost but not quite reach that jar of cookies on the kitchen counter. Now take the cookies out of the equation and pretend that Wii Remote is a gun. No, you still can't shoot the cookie jar to unleash the tasty chocolate goodness contained therein, but you can see the jar taunting you for another split second as an imaginary hand pulls you away from the kitchen.
Flawed attempts to improve on a tried and trusted formula aside, Umbrella Chronicles is pretty good. It intersects with other chapters of the Resident Evil saga and lets you play as familiar characters. It lets you shoot things with a Wii Remote. One of the weapons is a shotgun. That sums up the game's best qualities--but those are important qualities.
What makes this game much less fun than it could have been are the awful boss battles. Remember that squeaky-voiced gargoyle that screamed toward the screen at 1000 miles per hour at the end of the first level of House of the Dead 2? That battle is like eating chocolate cake as compared to the drudgery that is fighting a boss in RE:UC. It's like the people who designed the levels loved gamers and the people who designed the boss battles hated gamers. Or maybe it was the same person with a Jekyll and Hyde complex. Either way, the boss battles seriously detract from the game.
Another downside to the game: It only comes in three colors: brown, black, and white. When I first started playing RE:UC, I thought I was having flashbacks of playing Quake 1 when it first came out, only with better framerate and polygon count. I think Capcom was going for a "gritty" look, but it came off instead as a "lazy" look. The decision to use only black and white for
Schindler's List was powerful and brilliant filmmaking. The decision to strip the palette of any colors more exciting than mud makes RE:UC kind of depressing--and that's sad, considering shooting zombies with shotguns is some of the best fun one can have with video games. I'm not saying playing RE:UC should be like walking out of Kansas on to the yellow brick road, but something other than brown, black, or white would be a nice change of pace.
Ultimately, RE:UC delivers on its promise to let you shoot zombies with shotguns (and other guns, but who cares about that?). It's above average, but it doesn't quite recapture the thrill of the old arcade on-rails shooter games. As I said in the Abridged Version, it's a good rental, but might not be worth the purchase unless you're a hardware Resident Evil fan or you're just desperate for a Wii shooter title.
On a side note: If you're looking for a truly awesome on-rails shooter experience but can't afford a Wii, consider buying
The Typing of the Dead for the PC instead. It sounds ridiculous, but trust me, it's a blast.
EDIT: I know I already ragged on the boss battles, but I have to say: The third boss battle (at the end of Train Derailment 3) is quite possibly the worst boss battle in video game history. You've been warned.
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